


What Whis Cannot Do

by XQR



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Alien Biology, M/M, Massage, Slow Burn, and i mean kais that aren't Shin, oracle fish, supreme kai - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-08-28 20:11:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 74,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16729956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XQR/pseuds/XQR
Summary: The universe needs a new destroyer. Whis finds a pair of brothers that fit the bill. Then comes the training, studying, and gallivanting of the newly minted god. But Beerus soon realises there's more to like about Whis than just the food he provides.





	1. Chaos in the Heavens

**Author's Note:**

> In order to tell the BiruWhis love story, I had to start from the very beginning. It’s turning out longer than expected. My working title was ‘slow burn’ and boy did it really live up to that!

Whis sat up in a tree, swinging his legs as he hummed the tune to a rhyme he’d heard the village children singing. Below there was the sound of desperate fleeing, and then the thud of strong legs pursuing. Whis peered through the leaves that hid him from view, wondering which sibling was going to win today, and in that moment he felt someone grab him from behind, a sharp rock at his throat, and a surprised breath.

 “Surprised you managed to get me?” Whis asked, nonplussed by the situation.

 “No, I expected this ring around your neck to be solid. Whatever. Now it won’t get in my way.”

 “Do you intend to kill me?”

 “No.” Yet the point remained at his throat, the hand holding it pressing strongly against his collar. “I want to know _who_ you are.”

 “I’m Whis. And you are?”

There was a huff. “Don’t pretend you don’t know. I’ve seen you dogging our footsteps week after week. I used to think I was hallucinating you years ago when Shammie said he’d never noticed, but now I’ve finally got you.”

Whis frowned, not having had his question answered. “It’s polite to ask someone’s name when you meet for the first time, even if you already know their name.” Whis titled his head down ever so slightly. “See your brother down there? You call him ‘Shammie’ so often one could believe that was his name, but it’s a nickname, very personal, and if I used it he wouldn’t appreciate it. So, would you care to tell me the name you would like me to address you by?”

 “Bills. Now, tell me why you’re following us.”

 “I’ve merely been observing,” Whis said. “There’s nothing to worry about.”

 “Brother!” called the man below them.

 “Up here, Shammie!” Bills called back. “Observing what?”

 “Up in the tree?! You know I’m no good at trees!” Shammie yelled.

 “I’ll be down soon!” He resumed talking in his quieter voice, “Well?”

 “The pair of you. Mainly you, but your brother could work too.”

 “Work? What are you on about?”

The point of the rock pressed against the neck of his robe. “Unfortunately I’m not at liberty to discuss that yet. You should probably see to your brother now.”

Bills wanted to drive the sharp point into the man’s blue flesh, just to let him know he meant business. Yet he felt no malicious intent, no threat other than those watchful eyes from afar. He did not want to harm for the sake of it, especially not when he got the feeling this odd-looking man was more powerful than he appeared.

Calmly Whis removed Bills’ arm from around his neck, easily floating up to a higher branch, and leaving Bills quite dumbfounded.

 “What…? How did you do that?” Bills looked between Whis and the branch he’d just been sitting on. Did he just defy gravity? Invisible wings? On this planet you were either born with wings to fly, or you were chained to the ground forever.

 “Run along now.” Whis gave a smile and a wave. “We’ll see each other soon enough.”

Bills stared up at the man a while longer, unsure what his next move was, until another call from his brother snapped him out of it and he jumped out of the tree.

 

**Ooo**

 “You’re not trying very hard anymore,” Bills said as he climbed the sand dune Whis sat on. “I mean, you could at least sit further down so you don’t look like a meerkat on sentry duty.”

 “Maybe you should consider that I’m not trying to hide. In fact, I may even be enticing you out.”

Bills frowned, wondering if he was being played. “How come you’re so sociable all of a sudden?”

 “I’ve made my decision, but I guess I want to be sure.”

 “What’s that all about?”

 “About you.”

Bills rolled his eyes. “You’re too cryptic for me, I don’t know why I bothered coming out here.” Then he remembered. “No, there was something I wanted to ask. There was someone with you the other day. At first I thought you were wearing something different for once, but no, there were two weird blue people watching us.”

 “My sister.”

 “Makes sense. But you know, I can’t remember the first time I saw you hanging around, but you’ve always worn this same outfit. What’s with that? Shammie said it proved you were some kind of spirit that’d come to haunt me.”

 “It’s… I suppose you could call it a uniform. Do you like it?”

Bills was taken aback by the unexpected question. “Uh… It’s okay, I guess? Looks a bit fancy for round here. I’m more interested in this thing.” He waved his hand through the blue ring around Whis’s neck.

 “Please don’t do that.”

 “Why not?” Bills asked, hand poised to do it again. “Does it annoy you?”

 “There are superstitions among my siblings about what happens to those who do that.”

 “So you’ve all got this? But just your siblings? What about others of your race?”

Whis just smiled. “You’ll understand soon enough.”

Bills finally took a seat next to Whis. “I don’t feel like I’ll get any good answers out of you, but maybe you’ll tell me why you chose this shithole to visit and make decisions about?”

 “Why do you refer to your home as a ‘shithole’?”

 “That’s what it is. We’re out here in the desert, the only greenery miles away and heavily controlled by the rich. The poor are stealing what they can from each other to survive. I wouldn’t live here if I had the choice, but it’s the lot we drew in life.” Bills looked at the blue man. “You’re not from around here. What’s it like where you’re from? Is it so bad that here looks good?”

 “I’ve seen worse. I’ve lived in better places. When your planet is in flames from war and brings its own destruction… Then you’ll know true hell. Not that I speak from experience as a resident, merely as an observer.”

 “You do a lot of observing.”

Whis nodded. “I do. That is my job. But at the moment I guess you could say my world is falling apart. That’s why I’m here, observing you.”

 “Should I be honoured? You look awfully clam for someone who claims their world is ‘falling apart.’”

 “It’s temporary, and things will be set right shortly, so I don’t worry. But yes, I would say you should feel very honoured that I’ve chosen you.”

 “For _what_ exactly?”

Whis wagged a finger. “Now, now, I’m saying too much. I’m waiting for my sister to decide before I tell you.”

 “Well tell her to hurry up!” Bills realised he wanted nothing more than to have the answer to why he’d been watched for so long.

 “Soon. I’d say you’ll know in a few days. Not long at all.”

 

**Ooo**

 “So, what do you think?” Whis asked as he felt Vados approaching.

 “Interesting. Do you really think siblings are a good choice? Surely they’ll bicker more than the others did?”

Whis shook his head. “I don’t think so. Yes, they’ll fight over trifling things, but the bond between these two is deep. We’d avoid _another_ predicament like the one we find ourselves in now, that I’m sure of.”

 “I assume you want the older one?” Vados asked.

 “Yes, after all _he_ is the one I had my eye on initially. It’s not like he’s much older anyway. What’s a minute or two to us?”

Vados nodded. “It’s the least I can do for you seeing as _you_ found them. Besides, it looks like the younger one will benefit more from my strict regime.”

 “I agree.” Whis decided not to question whether his sister thought him soft. “So I’ll make the proposal tomorrow?”

 “To yours or to both?”

 “I’ll give you the honour of finally introducing yourself to your own ward.”

Vados thanked him. “It wouldn’t do for me to have been so friendly as you have been or he might not take me as seriously as I desire.”

 “I doubt that, sister. You have a way on instilling fear even in those close to you.”

She couldn’t help but smirk. “Even you, dear brother?”

 “Yes, even I on occasion.”

 

**Ooo**

 

Bills walked into the market, head covered against the harsh sunlight, but really just a disguise. Stealing wasn’t his favourite thing, but for himself and Shamz it was just a part of life now. Once a week one of them would sneak around the market, taking a piece of fruit here, a chunk of bread there. Bills had never been caught yet because he had the patience to wait for the opportunity, Shamz on the other hand sometimes let his stomach make the decisions. But at least when Shamz was successful _all_ the village orphans got to eat.

He saw the first opening to grab an orange, but just as he began to make a bee line for it someone stepped into his path and collided with him. He muttered an apology and tried to go around, not wanting to draw any attention to himself, but the person continued to get in his way. What more did this asshole want? He looked up.

 “ _You?!”_

The blue man with the weird circle around his neck. What was his name again?

Said man put a bag into his arms and, sliding an arm around Bills’ shoulders, began to lead him away.

 “Hey, wait, I need –“

Whis motioned to the bag and Bills peered inside. Food! Lots of it!

 “Wha-? Why?” Bills asked. “How did you know?”

Whis laughed. “I told you, I’ve been observing. I’m not someone you can fool by hiding your face.”

 “I should have guessed.”

 “I hope I haven’t ruined your morning plans,” Whis said, “but I have more important things to discuss with you.”

 “Not at all…” Bills looked up at the other. “Hey, thanks. This means a lot to us, you know.”

 “I know. Please think nothing of it. Let’s stop here.”

Bills looked and realised where Whis was referring to. “I – I can’t go in there!” It was the most expensive teahouse in the area. Usually he barely even glanced at it, knowing he’d never be able to afford a small cup.

 “Why not?” Whis asked, wondering if perhaps Bills had been barred when he wasn’t looking.

 “Well, they probably wouldn’t even let me in looking like this! They’re supposed to be _that_ kind of place.”

It was a fair point, Whis thought. Bills’ clothes were looking a bit ragged today, and they swamped him, the extra space used for the food he would have stolen. For the first time Whis materialised his staff in front of Bills, seeing the surprise in those yellow eyes. He pointed the staff at Bills’ chest and the clothes mended, cleaned and refitted themselves. As much as Whis wanted to dress the man in something more spectacular it would have caused too much of a scene to have him change entirely in the middle of the street.

Bills looked down at himself, inspecting the sleeves of his top. “How…how did you do that?”

Whis winked, the staff gone again. “Questions for later. Now, shall we?” He led the way past the tables and chairs outside.

 “Wait, we’re going _inside_?” Bills asked.

 “Yes, I have a room booked. Our discussion requires a little more privacy today.”

 “Uh, the other day on the sand dune was pretty private, wouldn’t you say?”

Whis turned on Bills. “Is there something you’re not telling me? Do you not want to go here?”

 “It’s… I can’t pay for this.”

 “ _I’m_ paying. I thought that much was obvious. In fact, I’ve already paid for the first pot. If you want more, you’re welcome to it.”

 “Remind me of your name.”

 “Whis.”

Bills nodded, committing it to memory. “Thank you, Whis. I don’t know why you’re doing this for me, especially when I had you at knifepoint not too long ago…”

Whis continued into the teahouse, unable to help noticing how meek Bills seemed compared to what he’d seen before. Usually he exuded such an arrogant confidence, but the extravagance of his surroundings seemed to suck that all away.

The room was quite small, with a table by the window that overlooked the street. A girl rushed in with the tea before they had barely sat down. The aroma was so pleasant that Bills wondered if it really was drinkable, or if this was just to fragrance the room. Whis smiled and thanked the girl, telling her there was no need for anything else. He took the pot and poured tea for Bills first before filling his own cup. Using both hands, Whis took the cup and inhaled the aroma of the tea, taking time to appreciate it before taking a sip.

 “Beautiful,” Whis whispered. “Please.” He motioned for Bills to enjoy his own cup.

The tea was as fantastic as it smelled, and he sipped slowly, savouring the taste, worried this would be the one opportunity he got to enjoy it. “So, what is there to discuss?”

 “I’d like to offer you a job.”

Bills sat up straighter, knocking the bag by his chair.

 “Here,” Whis said as the staff was there once more, his bag of food gone. “I’ll return it after,” he promised when he saw Bills’ face when it vanished. “I need your full attention.”

Bills looked back at Whis. “You have it.” This man was clearly rich. He probably paid very well if he’d casually hire out what was probably the best room in this place.

 “It won’t be easy, but it comes with a lot of benefits.” He waited to see if Bills would cut in, but he was listening intently. “The world requires balance – creation and destruction. And, as an old saying goes, _before creation comes destruction._ I am looking for someone who has the capability to destroy in order to maintain that balance. You seem to have that potential.”

Bills cocked a brow. “Are you trying to hire me as an assassin?”

Whis couldn’t help but laugh. “Not at all. Perhaps mass-murderer would be more appropriate if you’re going to think of it like that.”

That shocked Bills – was this guy joking? He didn’t look like it.

 “I should clarify – I’m talking about the destruction of whole races, and maybe even their planets if needed.”

 “You want me to destroy…planets?” Bills asked, confused. “Sorry, I don’t know where you got the idea I’d be able to do that. If I could, this planet would be under my control.”

Whis smiled, there was the ambition! “Not immediately, no, I’d train you first. You need _a lot_ of training before you’d be fit for the role, but when it comes to picking destroyers it’s best to choose them based on their personality as it’s a lifetime role generally.”

 “You mean I can’t resign?”

Whis hummed. “Well, I _suppose_ you could. No one’s ever done that. I guess they have too much fun being destroyers. I certainly wouldn’t go back to life without such a useful attendant.”

 “Huh?”

 “Ah, yes, _I_ would be your attendant – and teacher.”

Bills thought that one through again. “So you hire me, but then _I_ become the…master? Or the higher up? You attend to me?”

 “Yes, that’s right. You’ll find I have a number of uses you’ll want to take advantage of.”

That was a strange sentence to pick apart when he had no idea what it meant. “Do I have an area to work in?”

 “You work across the whole universe. You’ll even have your own planet to yourself – and me, of course.”

 “I can’t stay here?”

Whis cocked a brow. “I suppose you _could_. Every destroyer I’ve ever known has preferred to have their own planet and mould it to their desires.” Was Bills really so attached to this place?

He couldn’t leave Shamz. It would be cruel to leave his brother alone to fend for himself – wait! “How much will I earn?”

 “ _Gods_ work for free. But worry not, you’ll find everything you could ever need will be provided. You’d never go hungry, that’s for sure.”

Bills had several questions at once, but chose to work in an orderly fashion. “What do you mean _gods?_ ”

 “Ah, it seems I haven’t explained myself properly yet. The job title is ‘God of Destruction’ fully. You’d be elevated to divinity, working opposite the creation god, known as the Supreme Kai.”

Who _is_ this man? How can he claim to offer godhood like this? Was he some kind of religious fanatic? A priest? Yet the miracles Bills had already seen him perform… Perhaps it was time to start believing in something.

 “Would people worship me?” It was a throw-away question while he considered what else needed to be asked.

 “If you made yourself known, I’m sure they would. Perhaps not in the way you’d expect. The Gods tend to keep a low profile. This is a _job_ after all.”

 “Would I be immortal?”

 “No, but you’d live as long as you weren’t killed.”

Bills sat back and thought it through, Whis adding more tidbits of information for him to absorb.

 “So, you’re saying I get to be a ‘god’ and live a long time, eating what I want, living where I want, all in exchange for destroying a few things here or there?”

 “That’s a basic description, yes.”

 “Can I take my brother with me?” That was his final question.

 “That may not be possible.”

 “Then I can’t accept.” Bills stood up, quickly finishing off his tea. “I can’t abandon him to live like a king.”

 “I suggest you go and discuss this with him.”

 “Huh? I was sure you were going to tell me I couldn’t speak a word of this to anyone. Or maybe even wipe my memory if I refused.”

Whis shook his head. “This isn’t a decision you should take lightly. I expected you to need time. And besides, if you _do_ tell anyone else, will they really believe a word you’ve said?”

 “Why should I believe you?”

Whis materialised his staff and out came the bag of food. “Lying isn’t my specialty. And even if I had some kind of documentation from someone higher up than I, you wouldn’t recognise it. You can only take my word.”

 “So you won’t try to convince me?”

 “No. If you decline then I’ll find someone else. But I figure you’ll realise that what I’m offering is better than whatever prospects await you here.”

Bills picked up the bag. “You could be a serial killer for all I know. And this could be how you get your victims.”

Whis couldn’t help but let the shock show on his face. He’d never been accused quite like that! “I see. I didn’t realise it would be this hard to gain your trust. Yet you came in here with me, drunk tea I’d ordered, and intend to take food I’ve bought.”

 “Sorry,” Bills said. “I don’t really feel that way about you… But I guess when you sound a bit deranged talking about gods and trying to take me elsewhere to work for free I have to assume the worst. Thanks again for the tea and the food.”

Whis watched him go, wondering if he _had_ made the right call with this one.

 

**Ooo**

 

 “She was really tall! And pretty too!” Shamz said, retelling his encounter with Whis’s sister. “And she said if I go with her then I can eat all I want, any time I want! _Any time, brother!”_

Bills felt even more uneasy to know that Shamz had also been approached. What did that mean? “So, are you going to go with her?”

 “Well, yeah, duh!”

 “What about me?” He hadn’t told Shamz about his own meeting yet.

 “I’m going to get double portions and bring some home to you every day!”

 “So you’ll just leave me here?”

Shamz shook his head. “Not like that! I’m going to threaten to destroy this planet and then the Emperor is going to abdicate to _you_. You’ll be the new ruler of this planet.”

 “What if the Emperor doesn’t believe you?”

 “Well then, I’ll destroy _him!”_

Bills was quite impressed that his brother had a better thought-out plan than himself for once. Guess it paid to think with your stomach sometimes. “That won’t be necessary,” Bills said. “I’ve also been offered the job.”

 “Eh?” Shamz stopped. “Are we both going to be destroyers? Or are we going to have to fight for it?”

Bills shrugged. “The universe it pretty big, right? Maybe we’ll have half each?”

Shamz reached over and stirred the pot between them. Whis had provided a variety of vegetables, spices and breads. Tonight’s meal was still very modest, the pair having decided to ration it appropriately.

 “So, what did your guy say?”

 “A lot of the same things. He said I’d be a god.”

Shamz beamed. “It’s such a cool title!”

Bills couldn’t help but smile a little. Had he read too much into it? No, Whis had said something about ‘divinity’, this wasn’t just a title. But Shamz seemed happy and, for once, excited for the future. They did this together. They took a chance on these two strange blue people, and even if it all went wrong, at least they’d be together.


	2. Oh, How Heartless

Vados and Whis were waiting on the roof of the only tavern in the village where they sat trying out the local food offered there. Bills had been surprised at how welcoming the owner had become when Shamz said they were with Vados. No doubt they were wary of the brothers and their reputation for having nothing.

Vados smiled when she saw them, knowing that Shamz wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t accepting the offer. She motioned for him to take a seat and eat to his heart’s content.

Bills walked towards the table slower, making sure he wasn’t going to regret his next words.

 “Have you decided?” Whis asked.

 “One question,” Bills said, “Are we both getting the job?”

 “Yes.”

Bills nodded. “Then I’m in.”

Whis beamed and Vados gave a couple of claps. “Well done, brother. Our work here is done.”

 “Let’s finish this and go then.”

 “We’re just going to _go_?” Bills asked.

 “Yes,” Vados said matter-of-factly. “There’s nothing else you could possibly need here.”

He didn’t _feel_ ready. Where were they going? Was he starting the job immediately? What happened next? He did not ask these questions. It was too late now. He had said yes and he was going to do whatever these strangers told him to do. Shamz seemed rather calm about the whole thing.

Once the last fried scorpion was consumed Vados stood and pointed her staff at Shamz, new clothes adorning him – a robe and headpiece that looked strange to Bills, but then he noticed the pattern matched that of what Vados wore. It looked _expensive_ , something he never would have dreamed he’d see on his brother. Whis did the same for Bills, finding his vision partially obscured by the thing hanging from his head. The fabric felt gorgeous – so smooth and soft against his skin.

Vados tapped her staff on the ground. “Father, we’re ready.”

One moment Bills was sitting under the bright sun, the next he was looking up at a giant building, surrounded by a black sky dotted with stars. No, it wasn’t a sky…this was an abyss. There was no end to the darkness.

 “Welcome, my children,” a short blue man said.

Bills drew his attention away from his surroundings to focus on this new face. Did he say ‘children’? Was that literal? Surely not? Bills noticed the blue ring that hovered behind his head as he turned to lead them, not around his neck like Whis’s. Was there a reason for the difference? Wait – were they going into that strange-shaped building? Where were the -?

Suddenly they were transported and Bills could only assume this was inside. There were pillars that seemed to extend forever, but otherwise nothing, just darkness, themselves somehow lit despite it.

 “You’re about to meet the omni-king,” Whis whispered. “Please be respectful.”

 “ _The what_ now?” Bills asked.

 “He is the highest power in all the universes. Don’t anger him or you may find yourself destroyed.”

Before Bills could ask why Whis had said ‘all the universes,’ they were walking through a door, the short man introducing them. Bills missed the introductions, too busy staring around at everything, then suddenly at the floor as Whis forced him to bow.

 “Hello!” The voice was child-like. Bills looked up to see it belonged to a very small being, unlike any he’d ever encountered.

 “Is that him?” Bills whispered to Whis.

There was a fractional incline of the head from the man.

 “What did you say?” the child asked. “I couldn’t hear you all the way over there.”

Bills didn’t see the harm in talking to this kid, even if he was the ruler of the universe. “I was asking if you’re the omni-king.”

 “Oh?” The child seemed confused. “Weren’t you listening? The Grand Priest clearly introduced me.”

An introduction to the one known as the Grand Priest would have been nice on arrival, still this kid was clearly not going to take any shit. “Sorry, I was distracted by your wonderful…palace?” Was that what it was?

 “It’s nice, isn’t it?” He looked around as he kicked his legs, too short to touch the floor from his throne. “But I get bored of it. You two are the most interesting things that have been in here for a while.” His eyes flicked between Bills and Shamz. “Well, who are they?”

 “My apologies, Grand Zeno,” Whis said, intentionally using the appropriate name in the hope Bills would pick it up. “This here is Bills, the candidate for God of Destruction for Universe 11.”

 “And this is Shamz,” Vados added, “Candidate for Universe 8.”

Zeno hummed loudly, as if he was thinking. “You can be Beerus!” He pointed at Bills first. “And you can be Champa!”

 “But…our names are Bills and Shamz…?” He was confused as to why that wasn’t good enough for the omni-king.

Whis wanted to hit his candidate and silence him. At least his brother knew when to shut up, or perhaps he was still too busy looking around at everything.

 “Not anymore,” Zeno said cheerily. “You’re Beerus now. I like that more. Mm, Beerus and Whis has a good ring to it! Champa…that was too easy! This is fun! I want to name more people!”

The Grand Priest stepped in. “Maybe later, your eminence. Do you agree to let these two take on the roles of destroyers?”

 “Yeah, they look good.”

 “Wait –“ Beerus butted in. “What did you mean Universe 8 and 11?” He looked round at the angels for answers.

 “There are 18 universes,” the Grand Priest said. “They come in pairs, Universes 8 and 11 being one of those.”

 “You didn’t tell them this?” Grand Zeno asked, cocking his head.

 “We were a little pressed for time,” Whis said. Beerus could have sworn he saw a hint of anxiety for the first time. “There will be more than enough time to explain fully once balance is restored.”

Zeno nodded, suddenly looking very serious. “Your predecessors were very naughty. They made a real mess of everything. So I forbid you two to ever fight! It’s not allowed, okay? If you promise that I’ll make you gods.”

Beerus put an arm around Champa. “I’d never fight my brother.”

Champa smiled. “Never!”

 “Okay, come here then.” Zeno motioned for them to come forward and kneel before him. The kneeling was only because he couldn’t reach their heads from his throne otherwise. He removed their headpieces, placing a hand on each of them. There was a moment of waiting, and then they felt it. A feeling that something had changed within them. Neither could put a finger on it, but this child had done something to them.

 “You’ll live a long time now,” Zeno said, “So try not to die too quick. But if you do anything stupid, like fight each other, I’ll erase you.”

Both men looked at each other, and back to Grand Zeno, realising he was quite serious. “Thank you?”

Zeno looked over at the Grand Priest, ignoring the thanks. “Have you got it?”

The man walked over and placed a small orb in the tiny hands.

 “Do you recognise this?” Zeno held it up to them. “It’s your planet, right?”

Neither Beerus nor Champa had seen their planet as a whole. Technology wasn’t advanced enough for such an image to be produced. They peered close, trying to pick out geographical features. Zeno got off his throne and placed the orb gently on the floor, the ground beneath them looking like an aerial view of the planet they called home.

 “There’s the forest!” Champa pointed.

 “And the river.”

Zeno smiled, glad they could recognise it. He touched the floor and once more it was blank and the orb was in his hands. Once he was back on his throne he asked again, “It’s your planet, right?”

This time the newly-minted gods agreed, the planet also appearing larger behind the throne, a live view, not that they’d realised yet. Zeno spent a moment inspecting the orb, as if it meant anything to him, then he crushed it. There was a moment’s delay before the image behind the throne blasted into fragments.

Beerus and Champa looked to each other, at Zeno, and back to each other.

 “Excuse my rudeness,” Champa said, “But did you just blow up our planet?”

 “Uh-huh.”

 “Why?” Beerus asked, finding it hard to keep the anger out of his voice. Was this _real?_ Why would he do something like that? Shouldn’t this have been in the job contract along with not fighting with his brother?

 “That planet only exists like that in Universe 11,” Zeno said. “You two would probably fight over it eventually, so I destroyed it.”

Beerus clenched his fists. Now their home was gone. They were on their own _again_ , but this time homeless in a different way, and no way to go back to what they’d once known. Not only that, but all those orphans they’d been helping – they were gone too?! This _child_ had just destroyed _people_ as well. Without batting an eyelid, with a ‘uh-huh.’ He wanted to throttle this ‘omni-king.’

He felt a hand on his shoulder. “Shamz…” If it would have meant keeping the planet, he would have given it to his brother, moving it across universes somehow if needed.

 “No, his name is Champa now!” Zeno said, breaking the moment.

 “Well, with the formalities over with, I think it’s time for you two to begin teaching your pupils.” The Grand Priest stepped forward, placing himself between the destroyers and Zeno.

 “Thank you for your blessings, Grand Zeno.” Whis bowed. “We look forward to meeting you again when our lords are better informed about the universe.”

Zeno hummed and waved goodbye. Whis and Vados made sure the boys bowed before walking out with the Grand Priest leading.

 “Not much of a king if he goes around destroying planets like that, is he?” Beerus huffed.

 “My lord, please keep calm.”

For a moment Beerus was taken aback by being called by such a title, enough time for Vados to chime in.

 “You two should be happy for such a good reason for his destruction. Grand Zeno usually destroys a new destroyer’s planet for no apparent reason at all.”

 “There is always a reason,” the Grand Priest explained, “Leaving a destroyer’s planet can lead to bias, for destroyers are known to become selfish and greedy. Best to take it out of the equation at the beginning or it may become a distraction.”

Beerus reflected on these words a lot, wondering if in their instance they would have agreed to leave the planet be, neither of them coveting it. With another destroyer watching, surely it would stop problems arising. _Ah, but that’s what Grand Zeno feared_.

 “I’m sure we’ll see each other around,” Whis said to Vados. “Best of luck in your training, Lord Champa.”

Champa beamed. “Thanks!” He could _really_ get used to being called ‘lord’ all day.

 “My lord, you probably won’t see your brother for a while,” Whis whispered.

Beerus walked up to Champa and pulled him into a strong hug. “Don’t do anything stupid while we’re apart. You’ve got this lady looking after you now, so be good and don’t get into trouble.”

 “Same to you, brother. I’ll visit you soon. I want to see where you end up living.”

 “Are you ready then?” the Grand Priest asked. With a nod from both parties he held out a hand and transported each pair back to their respective universes.

 

**Ooo**

 

 “So, you lied.” Beerus stared daggers up at Whis.

 “About what?”

 “You said I could stay on my planet if I wished. You said that when you knew that _brat_ would destroy it.”

Whis raised his eyebrows at the disrespect for Grand Zeno his pupil was already displaying – something he would need to curb sooner than later. “Forgive me, my lord. There was always the possibility he wouldn’t destroy your planet on day one. Besides, I had already figured you for the type that would much prefer this place.”

Beerus finally took a moment to see where the Grand Priest had sent them. It was more green than the forest back home, with a large tree – really, _really_ large now he looked at it again – up ahead. “This is the destroyer’s planet then?”

 “It belonged to the previous destroyer, yes. You can chose to build on it, change it to suit you, or even destroy it and start afresh.”

 “I’ll build on it in time I’m sure. Now, you have more explaining to do.”

Whis nodded. “Shall we go inside?”

Beerus looked around, not sure where that was exactly.

 “There’s a home built into the base of the tree.”

 “Let’s go. You can explain on the way about these universes.”

 “On the way? How long do you think it will take?” Whis laughed. “Place your hand on me and I’ll give you a taste of how you’ll be travelling from now on.”

He grabbed onto Whis’s arm and with a tap of his staff they flew through the air at light speed, Beerus gripping Whis’s arm with both hands, feeling he would fall and hit the ground hard at any moment.

The angel laughed as Beerus felt his feet touch the ground again, ears and tail standing straight up, betraying his fear. “You’ll get used to it.”

 “You’ll teach me how to fly, right?” It would be a lot less frightening if he knew he would be able to zoom away should he fall from safety.

 “Of course. That’s one of the first things you’ll learn.” Whis pushed the door open and motioned for Beerus to go inside.

It was a cosy place – velvet chairs, silk drapes, marble tables, and lots of gold. The previous destroyer knew a life of luxury it seemed. Beerus slid into one of the chairs, feeling like a king in it. Whis pulled up another across from Beerus, laying his staff across his lap.

 “As the Grand Priest said, there are 18 universes, all numbered, with the pairs adding up to 19. Hence why Universes 8 and 11 are a pair. We are in Universe 11, and you are the destroyer now. Your brother has gone to Universe 8.”

 “What does that _mean_ though?”

Whis tapped his staff, 18 spheres projecting out from it. “Perhaps you noticed these while we were outside Grand Zeno’s palace. They are just as described – separate universes. Some have similarities, particularly between the paired universes, but largely they are different, and the differences come from how the gods cultivate their universe.” Beerus still seemed a bit lost. “Don’t worry, this is only the first day. You’ll understand it more as time goes on.”

 “Not much to cultivate if I’m going around destroying, right?”

 “Yes, much of that is left to the Supreme Kais, but your job is to cull things that aren’t growing as intended, or hindering the growth of others.”

 “You mentioned this ‘Supreme Kai’ before. My…colleague, right?”

Whis nodded. “I suppose that’s one way to call them. They are your opposing force, the creation that comes after your destruction, your other halves, and your life-links. There are five Supreme Kais at present, but the one you’ll be corresponding with is the Grand Supreme Kai.”

 “When do I meet this Grand Supreme Kai?”

 “Soon. I figure that meeting Grand Zeno is enough fun for one day. I thought you’d be more interested in settling in here.”

Beerus stood up. “I suppose I should have a look around. It’s been a long time since I lived in a proper house.”

 

**Ooo**

“How did you sleep, Lord Beerus?”

It took him a moment to realise that was _him_ – _he_ was Beerus now. And a lord too! “Yeah, it was alright. Lots to think about. Thought I might wake up back home and this whole thing had been a long dream, but here I am.” He fell into the armchair he’d occupied for a long time last night while he drilled Whis for more information.

 “What would you like for breakfast?”

 “Anything. What have you got?”

 “It would take too long to list. Are you in the mood for something sweet? Savoury? Light? Heavy?”

 “Sweet sounds nice.”

Whis nodded and disappeared, likely to the kitchen Beerus had found yesterday. He remembered opening a few cupboards, some stocked with utensils, one full of spices and condiments. It hadn’t really sunk in that those were all things he had access to now. The idea that Whis was about to provide food that wasn’t hard-won was baffling still.

Fruit and pastries. Not just one kind of fruit – there were at least 10. Pastries he’d never seen before – their fillings unknown. And Whis offered them all to Beerus.

 “Aren’t you having any?” Beerus asked, unsure if Whis expected him to eat _all_ of this.

 “My lord, _you_ get to pick first.” Whis needed to make sure Beerus understood the gravity of his position. He’d never survive among the other destroyers if he didn’t take what he wanted when he wanted it.

Beerus took one of everything, still not sure if he could eat everything on his plate. “So, uh, what’s my first day at work going to be like?” he asked as he began taking a bite of everything just to figure out which was best.

 “We’re going to the Sacred World of the Kais first. It’s all a formality really, seeing as Grand Zeno has already accepted you as this universe’s destroyer, but you should meet your kai in the flesh. Ideally you’d go to get a feel for their ki, but I’m guessing you haven’t developed that sense yet.”

 “Can’t fly, can’t sense ki… Why’d you pick me for this job if I’m so unqualified?”

 “I picked based on your person, not your physical skill. Not everyone has what it takes to do this job well, you know. Anyway, your kai will be most interested to meet you too. They’ll be able to sense you at least. Normally I’d have used the Supreme Kai’s help to pick the next destroyer, but we were in an unfortunate situation.”

 “You mean trying to find two new destroyers at the same time after the others wiped each other out?” Although Zeno hadn’t explicitly explained the details, he’d picked up that much.

 “Yes, but I meant that there was no Supreme Kai to help me, because they were dead too.”

 “Didn’t you say there were five of them?”

Whis nodded. “And the previous destroyer was linked to all of them, so they all died.”

Beerus cocked his head. “So when you said life-link, you were being quite literal?”

 “Yes, if one dies the other dies. Universe 8’s destroyer at least left the lower kais to make things easier. I do wonder how my sister didn’t manage to find a replacement before me.”

 “Whis, wait. You’re telling me that this kai could die and _I_ would die too?”

 “Yes. I suppose it will be nice for you and your kais to all start on the same foot –“

 “Can we bring the kais here and keep an eye on them?”

 “No, that would be… I doubt they would agree. Please, don’t worry, they live in Otherworld, and it’s quite safe. In fact, I’ve never known a destroyer to be killed via the link. Unfortunately for the Supreme Kai it’s always the other way around.”

That placated Beerus. “Say, how many destroyers have you known? You don’t seem that old.”

Whis laughed behind a hand. “Why, thank you, my lord. I’ve been around since there was a need for destroyers to have attendants and teachers, so I’ve seen them all. All four of them.”

 “ _FOUR?!”_ That was a much smaller number than expected.

Whis hummed, thinking about his previous charges. “The first didn’t last long. We didn’t consider that mortal life-spans were far shorter than that of the kais. The second one was granted the longevity you’ve been given. The third –“

 “What happened to the second one?” Beerus said before Whis could skip ahead.

 “Grand Zeno. Took the whole planet too.”

 “What did they do to get destroyed by him?” He didn’t want to make the same mistake.

 “My advice to you, sir, is that you give Grand Zeno all the respect he deserves at all times. He could be watching and listening even when you’re not aware.”

Beerus nodded gravely. Perhaps he wouldn’t be getting any kind of revenge for his home any time soon. “So, the third?”

 “She’s the one before you, you know how that ended.”

Beerus looked down at his plate. He’d done a good job, but he couldn’t bear to waste any of it.

 “You don’t have to finish it,” Whis said, noticing his expression.

 “Yes, I do. There are people starving out there. I knew a few. I’ve been one.”

 “This planet has wildlife. I can throw the leftovers out for them.”

Beerus agreed. “So, when are we off?”

 “When you’re presentable.”

He looked down at the nightgown he was wearing. “This is the second-most luxurious thing I’ve ever worn.” No one back home would have known it was nightwear.

 “And what’s the first?”

 “The stuff I wore yesterday.”

Whis nodded. “Exactly. Your kai will be expecting to see you much like that. I’ve left a fresh set in your room with some additional pieces you may or may not wish to don.”

Beerus soon discovered the golden bands Whis had been referring to. “Do the other destroyers wear this much gold?” he asked as he looked down at his arms.

 “Oh yes, it’s almost like a competition to see who can wear the most sometimes.” Whis looked Beerus up and down, tutting. “Come here.”

 “Hey, what –“

Whis pulled the black sash from where Beerus had tucked it into the blue one. “This should be tucked into your pants like so.”

 “Yeah, ok, I can –“

 “And _this_ is how to tie a waist sash properly.”

Beerus realised there was no use in fighting, instead letting the angel fix all his clothing faux-pas. Whis straightened the regalia around his neck before deciding he was perfect.

 “And, uh, while we’re on the subject of clothes…” He turned around. “Is my ass hanging out?”

 “Not if you keep your tail low. You’ll find these pants will be beneficial when we begin training and there’s nothing restricting your movement. Don’t worry, the Supreme Kai won’t be looking.”

 

**Ooo**

With a title like ‘supreme’ Beerus had been expecting the kai to be a bit more to take in. He’d been expecting someone tall and powerful-looking. Someone who at least gave off the same kind of aura as Whis. Instead he was looking at a short, plump man with a kind face. He shouldn’t have been surprised after the odd appearance of Grand Zeno.

This Grand Supreme Kai had only recently been chosen to be an apprentice to the North Kai, so he had some handle on the situation – for that Whis was glad. But he was still so young and fresh-faced, his other four kais fresh off the tree.

There wasn’t much to be said for their visit. The gods were amicable to each other, neither entirely sure what to say. Whis ended up filling a lot of the awkward silences with questions about how things were progressing on the Sacred World.

In the end they left when there was nothing else to be said, Beerus parting with a ‘don’t you dare die.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when all the artists were drawing Beerus in this kind of attire? https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=62081296 I never figured out why or where this came from. But that’s what Beerus and Champa are wearing at the start of this chapter.


	3. Planet Hachu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The problem with writing a fic set like 80 million years ago is that most of the current DB cast are yet to be born. So sometimes you just gotta make some people up.

Breakfast was lavish this morning. Eggs, bacon, sausages, bread, rice, potatoes – everything he’d ever dreamed of.

 “We begin training today,” Whis announced.

Training was rough. Whis stood there, hands behind his back, asking Beerus to hit him. He didn’t want to hit Whis really, not after all this man had given him this past week.

 “My lord, you’re not trying hard enough.”

 “I feel…bad. Can’t I hit someone else?”

 “Oh? So you think you _can_ hit me?” Whis laughed. “If you can, I deserve to be hit.”

Beerus didn’t understand the angel’s sentiment.

 “If you won’t hit me, I’ll just have to give you an incentive.”

Whis hit hard. _Really_ hard. Beerus was surprised, having been judging by appearances. He massaged his cheek, wondering if it would bruise.

 “Now you hit me back.”

He tried harder this time, but Whis was fast, and Beerus noticed the way he’d hover just above the ground.

 “Hey.” Beerus stopped. “You said you’d teach me to fly first.”

 “I will. This is merely to gauge what kind of combat skills you have.”

 

Whis had forgotten how hard it was to train someone from scratch. Teaching basics like ki control and how to sense it… It was harder to explain to a complete novice. But Beerus was a good student who tried hard. He had the will to learn and achieve, reminding Whis why he’d picked him. Once he’d given Beerus the day’s lesson he’d often find the god practising on his own to make sure he was mastering what he’d been taught. He’d caught Beerus jumping out of trees in order to master flying, standing in the shallows of the lake to heighten his senses by catching fish with his eyes closed, and his personal favourite, when Beerus attempted to sneak up on him, practising lowering his ki.

They visited other planets so Beerus could experience a wider range of climates, lifeforms and powers. Whis was not exactly a prime example of someone to sense ki with. And while they were away visiting, they indulged in lots of food now that Beerus had realised he could have pretty much anything he wanted.

 “Eh?! Lord Whis!” a small hunched person almost shrieked when they spotted the angel.

Beerus peered around. “Do you know this person?”

 “I don’t recognise them particularly, but this was a favourite spot of the previous destroyer, so I’m well-known around here. It’s not difficult to stand out, as I’m sure you’ll appreciate.”

The hunched person began to usher them both away, bowing several times to Beerus, saying something he couldn’t understand.

 “Do they know me as well?” Beerus asked.

 “They know you’re the destroyer, so they have great respect for you. They’re welcoming you to this planet and asking for your protection, as is custom around here.”

 “I like that.” He could get used to being treated like that. “Say, how many languages do you speak?”

 “All of them,” Whis said. “I have the ability to understand all, and for all to understand me. Don’t worry, once you’ve learned the divine language you’ll pick up this skill quite quickly. And soon this universe should start developing a universal language too.”

 “You’re talking in riddles again, Whis.”

The person leading them invited them to ride in a horse-drawn carriage.

 “Technology here is still primitive as you can see. It was on your planet too. But on some of the older worlds they have begun to develop flight – that is to say via vehicles. One day they’ll learn to travel between planets, and then there will be need for a unifying language for all to understand.”

Beerus nodded. “I have no idea how they’re making things fly in the air, but it sounds fun. Where are we going?” It seemed they were now in an empty courtyard.

 “The palace is up ahead. You’re to be welcomed by the Emperor.” Whis smiled. “The food is always good here. No doubt you’ll be banqueted and offered every luxury the Emperor himself enjoys.”

 “Sounds fantastic. And expensive.”

 “Lord Beerus, you have to stop thinking about cost now you’re a god. Sure, I tip the locals who don’t know us, but at the high end like this it’s completely free.”

 “What? Why?”

 “Because you’re a god, and gods receive offerings in nearly every culture that worships them.”

 “I never did believe in gods. I remember people putting out food in the local shrine, and it fed me from time to time.”

Whis laughed at the irony. “The Emperor will offer you everything he can in the hope that you won’t destroy him. Of course, you shouldn’t mention that you haven’t developed that power just yet.”

The carriage came to a halt and a nicely dressed young person bowed to them before inviting them up the steps and through the large green doors ahead. Inside there was a throne, high up on a platform, but unoccupied. The one he assumed was the occupant was waiting at the base instead – with a hat like that, surely only he could be the emperor.

Noticing their arrival, the man in the grand hat shuffled forward, his extravagant robe difficult to move in. He bowed like everyone else, and began to speak in a timid voice, unexpected from his appearance.

 “I shall inform my lord,” Whis said. It was unfair that he could understand Whis even though he knew Whis was speaking their language. “The _Empress_ will welcome you shortly. They are just preparing for your arrival.”

 “So that wasn’t the Emperor? Sure looked like one.”

 “No, that is her son, the heir.”

Made sense. “How come you didn’t know who was on the throne?”

 “It has been a few centuries since I was last here.”

There was a pause for processing before Beerus spoke again. “Do these people live that long?”

 “Average lifespan is 120 years here.”

 “Yeah, that’s still… How did they recognise you?”

 “I’m sure that young man has been told stories of the destroyer and the blue man since he was a child. I’m sure there’s an artist’s impression of the two of us somewhere. I’m sure they’ll draw you too.”

Beerus wanted to ask more about the previous destroyer now they were back on the subject, but they were ushered along once more.

The Empress sat the centre of a long table filled with dishes creating an aroma that made Beerus salivate. As they approached, Beerus noticed how much more extravagantly she was dressed, wondering how he’d ever mistaken the son for the ruler. Her headdress was twice as tall, her pointed ears bore several types of earrings, and her robes were heavy enough to make her shoulders slump under their weight. She stood, but he only received an incline of the head rather than a full bow this time. Was that because she considered herself high enough not to bow? Or perhaps the headdress would have fallen off had she moved any further forward?

She looked up at Beerus as she spoke. He listened to her voice, much stronger than her son’s, and noticed the scales on her face and how she’d enhanced their appearance with well-placed make-up.

 “Empress Hebi welcomes you to planet Hachu, and begs you to enjoy this feast for as long as you’d like. Please take a seat.”

Beerus followed Whis’s lead, sitting as Whis replied to the Empress. More people came out of the wings, bringing the dishes to him so he didn’t have to walk around the table like it was a buffet. He filled his plate in no time, having to refuse some of the later offerings.

 “The Empress wants to know your opinion of the food.”

Beerus nodded and made it quite clear, despite the language barrier, that it was fantastic. She seemed pleased with his enthusiasm.

 “What else are you two talking about?” Beerus asked.

 “I’ve told her a bit about you – this is the first time she’s met a destroyer after growing up with the stories, and it was her grandfather who last saw one, but he was just a child. I’ve learned a bit more about her in the process, as I’m sure we’ll return here at some point, perhaps before her son succeeds her.”

 “Why isn’t her son dining with us?”

There was a short dialogue and Whis asked, “Would you like him to?”

 “I don’t see why not. There’s enough here for a few more mouths.”

More was said and the young man joined them, and as Beerus gathered, was thanking him for the kind invitation to his own table.

 “You’ve really got these guys wrapped around your finger, eh?” Not being understood sure came in handy sometimes.

 “The food’s good, right?” Whis asked. “That’s why.”

Beerus was stuffed sooner than he wanted to be, but had Whis warned him they might get picked up by the royal family he wouldn’t have indulged in the street food earlier.

 “The Empress asks if you prefer boys or girls.”

 “I, uh…”

Noticing the confusion, Whis clarified, “She means for pleasure, my lord.”

 “That’s a bit personal, don’t you think?”

 “She wants to offer you someone. Of course, you can refuse.”

Beerus wondered if it would be rude to refuse. “Can I have both?”

Whis smirked, glad to see that he was getting the hang of making demands. “Of course.”

Ten very attractive young people arrived once the food had been cleared and glasses of wine set out instead. The Empress motioned to them and said Beerus could have whoever he wanted.

 “Whis, tell me, what happens now?”

 “You can decide if any of these people take your fancy, and then they’ll take you to a private room and you can enjoy their company however you wish.”

 “But you won’t be there to translate?”

 “Well, I can be if that’s what you wish, but, my lord, the nature of these private audiences tend to be wordless, if you understand…”

Beerus nodded. “I just wanted to make sure.” He stood up, making his way closer to the new arrivals for a better look. If they weren’t going to talk, then only aesthetics mattered today.

 

**Ooo**

 “Did you enjoy yourself today, Lord Beerus?” Whis asked as they sped across the universe.

 “Very much. I can see why the previous destroyer was so well-known there.”

 “And the girl you chose was to your liking?”

Beerus was glad to be looking at Whis’s back. “Yeah, can’t complain.”

 “Say, I never asked, did you have a lover back on your planet?”

God that was an even worse question! “No, I’m not really that kind of guy. Maybe if I hadn’t been living as I had, but – let’s not talk about this.”

 “Is it a sensitive topic? Should I refrain from mentioning it again?”

 “No, it’s just…” Beerus grumbled. “I’m not experienced with this kind of thing so there isn’t much to talk about. Why don’t you contribute your own experiences for once?”

 “I’m quite the asexual being, as I’m sure you’ll discover for yourself the longer we live together. There’s nothing for me to contribute.”

 “Then why are you asking me about this stuff if you’re not into it?”

Whis smiled, not that Beerus could see. “Because I’m here for you and your welfare. If you need fulfilment in certain areas then it’s something I should know about so I can provide for you.”

Beerus pondered whether he was going to enjoy having Whis around for the rest of his life. The man was proving to be highly useful, but also increasingly nosey.

Walking back into his new house, which was quickly becoming a home, he realised something. “The previous destroyer took these wall hangings from that planet didn’t she?”

 “Yes. Perhaps when we visit more places you’ll notice other things that have come from across the universe.”

Beerus looked around, wondering which items he’d recognise next. Maybe he would start bringing things back soon. “Tell me about her.”

 “No. I don’t want you to be like her – or try to be. Honestly, I’m waiting for you to raze this planet and begin afresh.”

 “But I like this. She had good taste.”

 “I won’t disagree, but I look forward to the day you put your own mark on it.”

 “Soon,” Beerus said.

 

**Ooo**

 “Lord Beerus.”

A hand on his shoulder.

 “Lord Beerus, wake up.”

He cracked an eye open. “What time is it?”

 “You missed all of yesterday.”

 “Huh?”

 “Slept right through it.”

Beerus looked up at Whis’s amused expression. “And you _let me?”_

 “I didn’t expect you to be capable of it, but I guess all that ki training really took it out of you. I hope you’re feeling refreshed and ready for another hard day of training.”

As if on cue, Beerus’s stomach rumbled. “Food first?”

 “Of course.”

And it was as grand as Beerus had come to expect. His past life of scraps was quickly becoming a distant memory.

 “Say, could we visit Shamz some time?”

Whis shook his head. “You need to be further along in your training before I allow such a nice reward.”

 “But – but we –“

 “No buts. The Supreme Kai certainly would _not_ approve of you visiting other universes with your basic skills.”

 “What’s wrong with a quick visit to see my brother?”

 “For one, my sister certainly wouldn’t appreciate you coming to disrupt the solid routine she will have instilled over there, although…”

 “Although?”

 “Perhaps if I did take you and you found that your brother had surpassed you…that might spur you on.”

Beerus couldn’t believe Shamz would do better than him. Not when he was trying so hard right now. “Is that what your sister told you?”

 “Not at all. I haven’t asked about Lord Champa’s progress because it isn’t of interest to me at the moment. It’ll be several years before I’d want to start comparing the two of you.”

That made Beerus panic a little. “Years?! You mean I won’t see Shamz for _years?!_ ”

 “Of course I wouldn’t be so cruel. When you can show me a ki blast worth using energy for I’ll ask my sister if she’ll allow you to visit.”

 “She really is your boss, huh?”

 “She’s older and stronger than me, and I respect her. Your brother shows you the same kind of respect, right?”

 “Yeah, I guess.” Beerus felt new motivation to achieve today. “But… What’s stopping me from ordering you to take me?”

 “You can order and whine all you like, my lord, but at this moment in time I am primarily your teacher, and you will listen to what I think is best for you.”

 “You’d refuse a god?” Beerus asked, wondering how far he could get with this.

 “You’d be a lot more threatening if you could hit me.”

Beerus took the chance to launch across the table, but Whis was faster, and Beerus crashed into the now vacant chair.

 “Fuck!” He rubbed his head where he’d made contact, grateful the chairs had a soft back.

 “Please don’t injure yourself before we’ve begun.” Whis rubbed a hand over Beerus’s head which irked the destroyer, but he found that the touch somehow alleviated the pain. “Come on, you’ve much to learn today.”


	4. God Birthday

 “I want to remodel.” Beerus pointed up at the tree. “Now I can fly, let’s add more floors. I want to be eating up there, with a view of this planet. And I want us to start collecting flowers from the planets we visit to make it something to look at; it’s too plain and green now.”

The changes came one by one – a moon to look at, a cavernous room to sleep in, a bigger lake for all the fish he was collecting from various planets. Whis quite enjoyed how Beerus was going about it all, making it a much more interesting place to spend his days.

With more visits to Empress Hebi, Whis found himself being asked to add snake motifs into some of Beerus’s latest ideas. The waterfall in the bathroom being his newest creation.

 “You like her, don’t you?” Whis asked over dinner – leftovers from today’s banquet on planet Hachu.

Beerus shrugged. “Sure. She likes me. And she feeds me well. What’s not to like?” Ever since he’d broken the language barrier he felt like he’d found a friend in the Empress.

 “I don’t like to meddle, my lord, but I feel I should remind you that you’re no longer mortal and will out-live her. Please don’t get overly attached.”

Beerus frowned. “So I can’t have friends? That’s sad.”

 “You can, but you two seem to be more than just friends.”

He shrugged. “What can I say? The destroyer of Universe 11 is a hot piece of ass. Don’t worry, as I said, I’m not that kind of guy. I enjoy her company and all, but that’s all.”

 “Your troubled face says otherwise.”

Beerus shook his head. “It’s not that. You said I’d out-live people, and well…I guess that leaves me with a very small pool of life-long friends.”

 “It’s the burden gods have to bear.” Whis smiled happily, “But at least you have me!”

 “Yeah, I guess. You, Shamz, and, uh… The kais?”

 “Oh no, not them.”

His heart skipped a beat. “Huh? But we die together, right?”

 “Yes, and no. The kais grow old, and they die naturally, unlike you. You’re going to be ageless and live until you’re killed. That’s the gift Grand Zeno gives to mortals who become gods.”

 “Well, you could have picked me up a few years earlier,” Beerus joked. “But, won’t I die when the kai does?”

 “Supreme Kais retire and hand the reins to younger ones. Your life-link will pass to the next one when the mantle is handed over. Nothing to fear, my lord.”

 “So, am I going to go through Supreme Kais pretty quickly?”

 “Not at all,” Whis said. “It’ll be millions of years before you see your second Grand Supreme Kai.”

 “Millions…” Beerus hadn’t really had it put into perspective like that before. It was always ‘forever’, ‘for eternity’, ‘until you die.’ But the idea he’d live to be several million years old? It was baffling, and he certainly wouldn’t believe it until he’d lived a bit longer. Had it been a year since he started this new life? Time already felt meaningless to him – he knew he had all the time in the world now, even if that was hard to comprehend.

 

**Ooo**

 

Beerus was as quiet as a mouse, glad he hadn’t ditched the plush carpets the previous destroyer had installed just yet. Whis was peering into his staff, seemingly distracted. Yet when Beerus reached out, he found his wrist caught by Whis, the angel not perturbed in the slightest.

 “You’ll have to do better, my lord.”

 “Am I ever going to be able to sneak up on you?”

Whis hummed. “Probably not.” He relaxed his hold on Beerus.

 “Anyway…” Beerus waved a finger through the blue ring around Whis’s neck. “It occurred to me I never figured out what this is. Can you take it off?”

 “It’s a halo, and no, it can’t be removed, only hidden from sight if necessary.” Not that Whis had ever found a reason to hide it.

 “I thought halos were like…” Beerus circled the area above his head. He’d seen a few dead people in Otherworld during his travels.

 “For the dead, yes, but I’m quite alive. All angels have them, perhaps as a sign of their divinity.”

Beerus looked at Whis as if for the first time. “You’re an angel?” He’d never believed in such things. “I mean, you’re an angel to me, but really, a literal angel?”

 “That’s the word used to describe my species, yes.”

 “Aren’t angels meant to… Uh, I guess you can fly, I mean…with wings?”

 “You shouldn’t compare me to angels from any culture. We’re above all of that, perhaps we even started some of those concepts on certain planets.”

Beerus finally stopped leaning on the back of Whis’s chair to curl up in his own. “Another thing I wanted to ask – do you sleep? You never seem to get tired, and I’ve never known you to not be around when I’m up.”

 “Sleep isn’t necessary. I _can_ tire, but food and simply resting like now is enough to recharge me.” Whis tapped his staff and a box fell out onto his lap. “These are particularly good for re-energizing me.” He lifted the lid and took out what looked to be a sugary sweet. “Would you like to try one?”

Beerus wasn’t going to refuse an offer to try something from Whis’s secret stash. He knew the angel was hiding a couple of other things in the kitchen that were for his eyes only, not that he cared much when he was more well-fed than ever. The jelly-like texture was unexpected, but very enjoyable.

 “Soon I’ll start to leave you on your own a bit more. I realise that gathering food supplies is only interesting for you at the moment because you’ve never been to these places before.”

 “It’s a lot more fun now I can talk to people.” The Divine Language hadn’t been too hard to pick up once Whis started talking to him in it exclusively. With no one else to talk to he had no choice but to learn quickly.

 “But speaking of tiredness, you look about ready to sleep.”

 “This chair _is_ mighty comfy.”

 “I didn’t make you that lovely bedroom for you to nap on that old chair. Off you go, sleep well, and be ready for an exciting day tomorrow.”

 “More training?” Beerus asked.

 “No. We’re going out.”

 

**Ooo**

 “Good morning, Lord Beerus!” Whis was standing over him waving a small flag. “Happy birthday!”

 “Eh? It’s my birthday…?” What day was it? How did Whis know?

 “Well, it’s your God birthday. One year of being a destroyer, according to the Royal Calendar. Worth celebrating, no?”

 “I suppose. Guess my original birthday will shortly become meaningless.” It already was in terms of time, as he realised pretty quickly that the days on this planet were longer than the ones back home. “Do I get a present?” He and Shamz had always saved their best steal for each other when their birthday drew near.

 “I have made you a cake, but your gift requires we go out, so hurry and get dressed.”

 “Run me a birthday bath first. And…can I wear something else today?”

Whis cocked a brow. “Why? As it’s the anniversary of your godhood, surely the clothes symbolising that status are perfect for the occasion?”

Beerus shrugged. “I thought maybe I could wear something special.”

 “Those clothes _are_ special. You need to see it as wearing something special every day rather than just on occasions.”

Beerus mulled over that sentiment as he soaked in the warm scented water of his bath. A year ago he had been thrilled to wear something that wasn’t old, itchy cotton, and now here he was wanting more. Not only that, but now he was decked in gold too, as if that wasn’t special any more. It was good to remember his humble beginnings, as it seemed they were already being forgotten.

 “Don’t you get bored of wearing the same thing every day?” Beerus asked as they sped through space.

 “No.”

 “Really? I took you for one who would. You’re always distracted by nice clothes when we’re out.”

Whis sighed. “Some of the fabrics in this universe sure are a pleasure to touch. I can’t help but have a little feel of the silks and velvets we come across.”

 “Why not just wear them then? Who’s going to know on the days we spend at home?”

 “It’s a full-time job, and I’ll dress for it at all times.”

 “You’re so uptight sometimes,” Beerus mumbled. Now he was starting to realise there were two sides to Whis; the carefree angel who would visit a planet just for another dumpling, and the strict teacher who wouldn’t budge if his mind was set.

Suddenly it felt as if they were pushing against an unseen boundary, and then a sharp relief as the world seemed to change around them. The stars were not in the same places they were a moment ago, Beerus noted.

 “Say, where are we going?” He hadn’t asked yet, knowing this was supposed to be a surprise, but now he hoped to get a little more information.

 “You’ve waited this long,” Whis said, “Just hold on a little longer.”

 “What happened just now then?”

 “We crossed between universes.”

Beerus had thought that doing such a thing would take more effort than that, but maybe the real effort was how long it had taken just to get that far – they didn’t often travel for more than an hour in any direction. Why was Whis taking him to another – _god let it be true!_ Could he really _finally_ be going to see his brother?! _No, no, let’s not get excited in case we’re not in Universe 8._

The ride was silent from there on, Beerus absorbed in his thoughts, Whis able to feel the excitement radiating off the other. Soon they began to slow from their hyper-speed and Beerus tried to look ahead to where they’d be stopping. He barely registered the cone-shaped planet as they flew towards it, landing on hard ground.

Whis knocked at the grand wooden door before them, and Beerus’s heart began to pound when it was none other than Whis’s sister who answered! And if she was here, then so must Shamz! He wanted to make her take him to his brother immediately, but he remained calm with great restraint as she began to lead them inside.

 “Shamz!” Beerus called as soon as Vados opened the door to the main hall and he caught sight of a familiar face.

 “Beerus!” Champa scrambled to his feet immediately, rushing to meet his brother halfway.

They came together in a mighty embrace, both overjoyed to see the other. Beerus didn’t want to let go, feeling like he might not see his brother for another year if he did.

 “My name’s Champa now, brother. Don’t forget it.”

Beerus nodded into Champa’s shoulder, taking a moment to get a grip and not let any tears out before letting go and holding Champa by the shoulders. “Look at you!” He poked Champa’s stomach. “You’re getting fat!” But Champa wasn’t fat in the slightest; he was finally a healthy weight, and that brought Beerus more joy than Champa knew.

 “Yes, Vados has fed me very well – I can have anything and everything I desire!” Champa boasted. “Say, doesn’t your angel feed you enough?”

 “What? Of course he does. I’ve eaten more this year than I have in my whole life before all this.”

 “Well it doesn’t show.” Secretly Champa worried that maybe Beerus had been worrying over him or something, but he wasn’t going to ask now.

 “It doesn’t matter. Tell me about what you’ve been up to – we have to trade stories.” Beerus couldn’t help but hug his little brother one more time. “I’ve missed you.”

Champa smiled. “So have I. It’s weird going from seeing you every day to never. I always hoped Vados might invite you for dinner or something.”

 “Whis said I wasn’t allowed to see you until I’d trained a bit more.” He looked around to give Whis a glare, but the angels were busy having their own catch-up out of ear-shot. At least they had some privacy.

 “Vados isn’t always willing to give concrete answers,” Champa said. “But she’s good to me, so I don’t mind her ambiguity most of the time. Oh, I’ll have to show you what she’s built for me!”

Champa’s palace was grand, and put Beerus’s to shame for the most part. As he showed his brother around his new home he regaled tales of planets he’d visited, and people he’d met. Beerus contributed some of his own experiences in return. Outside was a different matter. Beerus certainly couldn’t wait for Champa to visit Universe 11 and see the lush greenery and towering trees on his planet. Things were certainly lacking here in that department, but Champa had always preferred indoors to out.

 

 “I thought you would have been stricter,” Whis said as he watched the brothers sample Champa’s latest sweet discoveries.

 “What can I say? The first few months were more difficult than anticipated. He really was like a lost kitten without his older brother to guide him. But as you can tell by this place, he really has come into his own recently.”

 “Yes, completely different to what it once was.” Whis took a moment to glance around. “And the training?”

 “You must be ahead,” Vados conceded. “But we have a good schedule now, so we’ll catch up soon.”

 

**Ooo**

 “Do you ever bathe?” Beerus asked once Whis had told him his bath was ready.

 “Of course. I do so while you sleep.”

Beerus nodded. “Something for you to do, right? Must be boring not being able to sleep.”

 “Most mortals I meet think they’d jump at the chance to able to survive without sleep.”

 “Sure, it would be great if I was only going to live for a few decades, but with my near-immortality I figure sleep is a fantastic pleasure to indulge in. I certainly have always enjoyed it.”

Whis smiled. “I'm glad you still enjoy it. It seems you're sleeping even more these days.”

 “So it does.” He wasn't going to air his concerns just yet - it was surely just down to the fact he _could_. “Anyway, you look tired after universe jumping, and I thought a soak might refresh you.”

 “How thoughtful of you, my lord.”

 “So you’ll join me? I figure the pool is quite big enough for two.”

 “Thank you, I think I will.”

Beerus didn't think through how strange his offer was going to be. He’d only ever witnessed Whis roll up his sleeves a couple of times, and now he was inviting the angel to get nude! It wasn't weird usually, so why was it weird now? _Because…because it was Whis!_ The long sleeves, the trousers tucked into his shoes, and the turtle neck… Whis didn't show skin and that's what was making it weird. Briefly an image of them swapping clothes crossed his mind. How did Whis’s midriff look? Such a strong being was surely ripped, yet he didn't appear so.

Beerus slid into the water, deciding he’d keep his eyes to himself as much as possible.

 “Did you enjoy the day with your brother?”

 “Yeah, it was really nice.”

 “Is that all?”

Beerus stared into the water. “Thank you for taking me. It was really good to see him and know he's okay and doing well.”

 “That's very sweet, my lord.”

 “Shut up.” A perfect excuse to direct his attention away from the angel. “Actually, I saw something while I was there that I want.”

 “Oh?”

 “Yeah, he had this fish tank built into the wall, but I want to go further. A larger tank going up through the centre of the tree, spanning several floors, full of fish from all the planets we visit!”

 “My, my, what a tall order. And here I thought you were concerned for how tired I am. Is that why you can't look at me? Guilt?”

Beerus panicked now that Whis had noticed. “N-no! I didn't mean today - or even tomorrow! Just an idea for the future.”

 “I see. I'll have it done before you wake up.”

 “You don't have to! Take your time.”

 “It sounds like a nice feature - I'll enjoy creating it.”

Whis began to swim out to the waterfall, and Beerus looked for the first time, unsure why he was surprised to see the halo still hovering around the angel’s neck. Whis’s frame was as slender as Beerus imagined it would be - not that he had been imagining Whis undressed! And it turned out that his shoulders were broad, something he had suspected his outfit had been overcompensating for.

He quickly averted his eyes once more as Whis stood under the waterfall.

 “Would you like me to wash your back, my lord? That way you won't have to look at me.”

Beerus balked. “I - I don't -!” He didn't know what to say. “Look, it’s only weird because it's you. I never see you relaxing in just a shirt or something. You’re never even just sitting in that under robe.”

 “It's okay to look, my lord. I am for your eyes only.”

That made Beerus flush and he hoped to God it didn't show. “Don't say it like that! But fine, wash my back.”


	5. Deep Fried Prawns

 “Need something checked, my lord?”

Beerus quickly stopped flexing and turned away from his reflection in the fish tank. “No. Merely admiring the fruits of my training.”

 “Yes, you’ve come quite a long way.”

 “But not enough to sense when you’re about to come and embarrass me.”

There was a fleeting look of amusement in Whis’s expression. “My apologies. I assume you’d like to go somewhere today? Or would you rather spend your day off relaxing?”

 “I’m ready to go. Did you have a suggestion?”

 “I do, actually. It’s not the nicest place, but the deep fried prawns are to die for.”

 “Oh? Why have you kept this from me for so long then?” Beerus asked as he led the way outside.

 “When I said it’s not the nicest, I meant it can be a bit of a rough place. The area I’d like to take you to has a particularly bad reputation, but I figured you’re ready in the event that we encounter any trouble.”

 “We won’t get a free pass for being who we are?” He had gotten quite used to being treated like royalty by certain planets’ actual royalty.

 “No, we’re going more _local_ shall we say? Of course, we don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

Beerus hummed. “The prawns must be pretty good for you to suggest it in the first place.”

 “Oh, they are.”

 “We’re going then.”

 

It was dark, humid, and wet. Beerus didn’t know if it had been raining, or if the puddles were from people throwing liquids into the street. He was very careful not to step in anything given how not waterproof his shoes were. The streets were dimly lit, most of the light coming from various outlets. It looked like people lived here above the stores and stalls they owned. The smell of food wafted from every direction, making his mouth water.

 “Oh man, these prawns are _really_ good.” Beerus popped another one into his mouth before Whis slapped his hand.

 “They’re for us to _share_.”

 “Can’t you get them to give you the recipe or something? Surely you could make these?” Beerus was very much under the impression Whis could do _everything_ he asked.

Whis hummed. “I suppose I could try and butter up the cook.” He looked at the bag in Beerus’s hands. “I guess it’s no use asking you to save some of those for me while I go inside.”

 “Don’t you want me to come with you?”

 “Alone would be better. Now, don’t eat them too quickly.”

 “I’ll save you one.”

Whis shook his head. “I’ll be getting some while I’m inside – all part of the plan.”

Beerus felt a little lost as he watched the angel go. It wasn’t often that Whis left him, rather he was usually leaving Whis. He found a low wall to sit on, watching the people of this planet go about their business. Everyone seemed to keep to themselves, rushing along at a fair old pace, as if they had to be somewhere soon. A couple of younger-looking people broke the silence of the street with their laughs as one recounted a story. Beerus smiled, reflecting on how easy it was to understand everyone now, even from a distance like this.

 “Who the fuck are _you?”_ a rough voice asked.

Beerus looked up to see a very big red native, and they looked _good_. Their black leather coat was cut in a way that showed off bands of their skin nicely, and the horns were a nice touch too.

 “I asked you a question.”

He stood up, noticing now that there were two others too, and that he was shorter than all three of them. He had been under the impression the locals were generally around his height, but it mattered not.

 “Awfully rude of you to be so demanding,” Beerus said. “Allow me to show you how it’s done. I’m Beerus, pleased to meet you.” He stuck out a hand as Whis had taught him.

The assumed leader looked down at the hand and laughed. “That’s not how things are done around here. Where the fuck did you come from?”

 “Now, now, I give you my name, and in return you’re supposed to give me yours, not ask more questions.” Beerus dipped into the bag for the last prawn. Why should he be pleasant if they weren’t?

The leader slapped the prawn out of his hand. “Our names don’t matter. We just wanna know which planet you came from so we can sell that gold with a nice nametag.”

Beerus barely registered what they said, still staring down at the loss of his prawn. “You’re really starting to piss me off.”

 “Get him, boys.”

The two behind the leader came forward, each grabbing an arm and leading Beerus away from the main street, out of sight. He let them – best to fight without the locals watching if things were about to get messy. Whis certainly wouldn’t approve of him getting into a scuffle so close to a favourite food spot.

 “So, is this the part where I beat you up?” Beerus asked, cracking his knuckles.

The leader laughed. “ _You?!_ You don’t seriously think you can take us, do you?” The look on Beerus’s face earned a huff. “I was gonna give you a chance to give up the goods and let your pretty little face get away unharmed, but sounds like you need some roughing up anyway.”

 “Pretty, am I?” First time he’d ever received such a strange compliment like that. “Well, come on, I’ve been itching to hit something for a while now.” He still hadn’t landed a blow on Whis after all this time, but he was close.

The leader motioned for the two underlings to get on with it. Beerus had no interest in these two, so he sped forward, intending to incapacitate them as quickly as possible.

 “Lord Beerus!” Whis’s voice rang out, and Beerus halted, a blow from the shortest one connecting with his jaw.

He stepped back, massaging where he’d been hit. “What? Can’t you see I’m busy?”

 “I leave you alone for five minutes and you get into trouble! What am I going to do with you?”

Beerus pointed at the trio. “They started it! They knocked my last prawn out of my hand!”

Whis hummed, sympathising a little. “I forbid you to kill them.”

 “Fine.” He turned back to the fight.

 “Who’s that?” the short one asked. “Your daddy? Telling you what to do?”

 “What? No, I’m the one in charge.” The idea of Whis being a parent was both unthinkable and quite appropriate.

 “Didn’t know slaves gave orders.”

 “Well, he’s my teacher too. But enough talk.” He sped forward once more, a fist swinging out to collide with a head.

But Beerus didn’t see his opponent move even faster, a punch landing right in the middle of his gut. He lost all momentum, staggering back.

 “You’re fast,” he gasped.

 “Why don’t you try again?” they asked with a smile.

Beerus failed again and again to hit them before they hit him. It was like sparring with Whis, but this hurt a lot more. He stood up, wiping blood from his lip – when was the last time he’d bled? “Maybe I can fight the other one first?”

 “Giving up already?” They were on the brink of laughter.

Both came at him this time, and all he could do was defend. He wanted to call for Whis to assist him…help him… But he wouldn’t. He couldn’t. All his training and he couldn’t even beat a few random thieves? He was better than this!

The punch he threw did nothing. Whichever one it had hit didn’t even flinch. Instead it left him wide open, earning him a fist to the jaw.

Whis watched on, impressed by his lord’s resilience. He had long expected to have been called on for assistance, wondering if Beerus intended to wait until he was knocked out. Beerus stood up again, unsteady on his feet, shoulders slouched. Again he was knocked to the floor, struggling to lift himself once more.

 “That’s enough.” Whis stepped forward, and the thieves moved back.

Beerus had made it to his knees, wanting to stop Whis from intervening, but so grateful at the same time. He didn’t have the energy to protest. He didn’t even know if he could get up now, knowing that Whis was going to deal with this.

He barely registered the exchange between the leader and Whis. Something about payment? There was no fighting. Whis didn’t have to touch them to make them leave. He felt the angel’s hand on his head and some soft-sounding words.

 

Beerus regained consciousness when he felt a stinging sensation.

 “We’re home?”

Whis nodded, gently dabbing at his bust lip.

 “I thought… You _have_ healing powers.” Beerus looked at Whis expectantly.

 “I’m not giving you the easy way out. I hope you learn something from this.”

 “Hey, I didn’t go looking for trouble if that’s what you’re thinking!” Beerus was offended Whis would think such a thing. “I was minding my own business – they came to me!”

 “I know.”

Beerus stopped his rant. “So…” He ran through the memories again. “ _You_ set this up?”

 “I did.” Whis sat Beerus up on the sofa, gently pressing on his ribs until Beerus took a sharp intake of breath. “My, my, I didn’t mean for it to go this far.” He reached for bandages.

 “What were you playing at?” Beerus didn’t know what to think. He had put all his faith in Whis recently, but now that trust seemed to be crumbling.

 “I’m afraid there were many things that pushed me to choose this course of action.”

 “Well with the state it’s left me in, I guess I’ve got a lot of time to listen,” Beerus huffed. He didn’t want Whis dressing the wounds he’d put there, albeit indirectly, but he had no one else to help him.

 “Recently we’ve visited some lower level planets and I’ve noticed your cockiness grow. Not in a good way. I’m glad you feel like you’re progressing enough to take the lead when we’re out, but it’s too early for you to earn yourself a bad reputation when you can’t defend yourself properly.”

Beerus grunted, not wanting to outright say Whis might have been right about needing to be knocked down a peg.

 “I also wanted you to get some combat experience from someone who wasn’t me. Unfortunately it seems I overshot the difference in your power levels. However, I realised as I was watching you that possibly these people would be able to draw out your destructive powers. But perhaps I turned up too early for that. Knowing I was there was a safety net which probably stopped you from unleashing everything you had.”

 “Please don’t try it again,” Beerus said. “It wasn’t very fun.”

 “But I gave you ample warning. I even offered you the chance to back out.”

Beerus remembered what Whis had said before they went, wondering what he would have done if Beerus had rejected. “And the prawn recipe?” The persuading factor.

 “I got it.” Whis smiled, excited to try it for himself. “But you won’t be having any until you apologise.”

Beerus raised his brow in surprise. “ _Me? Apologise?_ For what? You’re the one that got me beat up! _You_ should apologise!”

 “Let me make this clear, Lord Beerus, I am _not_ your slave. I am not your servant. I am your _attendant_. I tend to your needs. I do not _serve_ them.”

 “Okay, firstly, I never said you were my slave. And secondly, tending and serving are basically the same thing.”

 “You may not have said it, but you allowed the comment to pass unchallenged, which means you agreed with it to some degree.”

 “I –“

Whis continued, not allowing him to defend himself, “And the difference I’m trying to convey is that if you have a need I will see that it is met in some way, but it may not be in the way you request. A slave does what is demanded of him. I will not bow to your demands, but may accept certain requests.”

 “Can I _request_ that you heal me?” Beerus asked.

 “No. I’ve already said you must suffer this. You need to learn that you can’t rely on me for every little thing.”

 “Yeah, I’m learning that pretty quick today,” Beerus mumbled. Whis made some ice in a bag and placed it near Beerus’s eye, getting him to hold it in place. “I’m sorry about the slave thing. I didn’t realise…”

 “Language is important. Please don’t forget it.”

 

**Ooo**

 

Getting beat up in the alley was nothing compared to what Whis was putting him through now. It had been a few months of constant training, Whis pushing him harder than ever. At the start of this period his ki blasts had still been rather pitiful, but now they were coming along quite nicely as he was forced to rely on them more as his body ached. The thought of physical combat was exhausting at this point. Much better for him to focus on ranged attacks.

The days left him starving, eating as much as he could before heading to bed. His body ached in the morning more than the night before. And yet Whis didn’t let up on the schedule. It was as if there was a deadline, or something they were working towards. When was the last time they’d had a day off? Whis seemed to be travelling off-planet for the foods he requested, but he never took Beerus with him. Just a day out somewhere different would be nice. Even if it was just to see a different view at this point.

He felt trapped, and his captor was the only one who could give him his freedom. If only someone would visit. Maybe Champa would come for lunch? Would the Supreme Kai ever visit? He didn’t fancy the idea of Grand Zeno popping by, but there weren’t many other people who knew where his planet was. Maybe some random people would fly by? But he had a feeling a destroyer’s planet was in some way off the map.

 “Whis…” Beerus moaned from the edge of the pool.

 “Yes, my lord?” He popped his head around the corner, having just come with fresh towels.

 “Can we have a day off tomorrow?”

 “No.”

Beerus groaned. “Please. I want to see my brother.”

 “No. My sister won’t allow that.”

 “How can you know that? You didn’t even call her yet.”

 “I’ve been in regular contact. We’re both exchanging notes on you two and your training.”

 “Eh?” That made Beerus perk up a bit.

 “Yes, Lord Champa is under an even more rigorous training schedule than you are. I fear he will attain his powers of destruction before you.”

Beerus wondered if Whis was lying to him; it wouldn’t be the first time. But he had met Vados. He’d heard Champa talk about her too. And based on that, he believed Whis was being truthful. The idea of his brother beating him to what was essentially the finish line was…annoying. Of course he wanted Champa to do well, but at the same time, as the older sibling, he wanted to be the first. There were very few things in life that Champa had managed to accomplish before Beerus, and so he’d developed some kind of complex about being the older, better brother. The thought of falling behind was going to fuel him for the next few days at least.

 “Will you do me a favour?” He needed to be refreshed before he could achieve anything.

 “What would that be?”

 “Give me a massage.”

 “Of course. Would you like it in the bath?”

Beerus shook his head. “I’m getting out.” It was a struggle to lift himself out, but he managed it, lying on the floor for a moment before pushing himself to his feet and taking the towel offered to him. He awkwardly leaned on Whis’s shoulder, cursing the fact the angel was too tall. “Carry me, will you?”

 “I didn’t think you liked to be carried?” Whis asked as he scooped Beerus up in his arms.

 “I don’t, but desperate times call for desperate measures.” He remembered a time he would manoeuvre away from anyone who touched him, but he had grown to accept the occasional touch from Whis. “I’m absolutely shattered these days. Maybe you should get me a little moving chair I can whizz around on.”

Whis hummed, looking down at Beerus. “Maybe you really _do_ need a day off. I never imagined you’d allow me to carry you like this while you were conscious.”

 “So you will? I wanna sleep in!”

 “No. You train tomorrow as usual. Just because you may need it, doesn’t mean you’ll get it. Where did you want your massage?”

 “Bed. I’ll fall asleep while you do it.”

Once in the room Whis pulled out Beerus’s night robe. “This thing is looking tatty. Shall I make you a new one?”

 “No,” Beerus said, snatching it out of Whis’s hand before he could do anything with it. “I like it. It’s very comfy.” He threw it over his head before beating his pillow into the perfect shape. “Uh, everywhere aches, so…”

 “I understand.”


	6. When Whis Isn't Home

 “Woah!” Beerus dodged the ki blast Whis had thrown at him. “What the fuck was that?!” It hadn’t been normal for sure. His senses had become well-tuned to these kinds of things, especially which blasts he should and shouldn’t try to take on.

 “What did you think of it?” Whis asked.

 “I didn’t like it!” Beerus looked behind him, seeing that the ground where it had landed has been obliterated. “But…but it was this small! How did it do _that?_ ”

 “Destructive energy.” Whis was suddenly right beside him, holding a ball of the purple energy. “I’m glad you could distinguish the difference so quickly.”

 “If it had hit me…would I have been destroyed?” Whis still did not have Beerus’s absolute trust.

 “No, not at that size. Perhaps it might have taken a few layers of skin, maybe less. I’m not sure how resilient you are, even if you have come a long way recently.”

Beerus stared at the energy ball. “Can I…?” He held out his hand and Whis let the ball fall into Beerus’s palm. “Oh…” Very carefully he let the ball roll between his hands, taking note of how it felt and behaved.

 “This is what I’ve been trying to get you to produce. Take a good look. When you show me you can do this, you can have a day off.”

Beerus laughed. “A day off? I forgot what that was. We’ve been training for so long I forgot that I was alive for anything else. Say, Whis, how long has it been?”

 “Since the last day off? 762 days.”

 “Here.” He gave the ball back to Whis and sat on the ground, motioning for the angel to sit with him. “I need to work on this differently to how you’ve been trying to get me to do it.” He created his own ball of ki to work with, making it change colour, and giving the energy different frequencies.

Whis watched on, silently impressed by how much control Beerus was displaying as he toyed with the ki. Occasionally Beerus asked questions about the destructive energy, and Whis did his best to answer in a way that would help. Of course he could have gone into much more detail about the quantum physics involved, but he figured most of it would go over Beerus’s head. At this point he wanted nothing more than for Beerus to crack this, knowing that Vados had managed to get Champa to do it already - not that he mentioned this fact just yet. He was saving it for if it became necessary.

 

**Ooo**

 “OH, WHIS~”

The call reverberated around Beerus’s cavernous room. And the call was answered in less than 30 seconds.

 “Yes, my - ? _Oh!”_ Whis was beaming as he looked up at Beerus who was sitting on his bed. “You’ve done it!”

Beerus was sweating as he grinned, holding the power of destruction in his palm. “Is this acceptable?”

Whis floated up to him and went to take the energy for inspection, but it dissipated on contact.

Beerus inhaled sharply. “I spent all night making that!”

 “You’ll get better at it, just as you have with normal ki. For that you don’t have to train today; you’ve earnt your day off.”

A serene smile crossed Beerus’s face as he immediately fell back onto his pillow and curled up. “I’ll spend it sleeping. Get me something good to eat for when I wake.”

 “Sleep well.”

 

**Ooo**

 

 “I’m absolutely starving,” Beerus announced as he walked into the dining area, stomach rumbling on cue. “Whis?” He had expected the angel to be around, as he always was, but he was nowhere to be seen.

He looked at the table; empty, not even set as if breakfast was any time soon. He called out again and waited, but Whis didn’t appear. Could he have gone off-planet? Why wasn’t he back yet? Beerus walked through to the balcony, noticing that the sky was only just getting light. He couldn’t have woken up early – not when he felt more refreshed than he had in years. Maybe Whis had let him sleep through his whole day off?

Whis wasn’t here? That meant he could do something – something he wouldn’t normally do because Whis was always here! He’d once had a little list of things for a time like this, but he’d forgotten much of it seeing as the times Whis was away and the times he was awake were usually mutually exclusive.

The kitchen! Whis had always forbidden him from cooking, or eating anything that had not been expressly offered. Beerus ran back inside, halting at the door. He took a moment to compose himself and try and feel for any trace of Whis on the planet. Nope. He placed a hand on the knob, expecting Whis to materialise at any moment. Slowly he pushed it open and spied the cupboard he was most interested in: Whis’s personal cupboard. What was that man hiding in there?

His heart was racing as he went to open it, quickly deciding it was best to leave another door ajar as if he wasn’t fully aware of what cupboard he was about to look in. There was a slight pang of guilt as he pulled it open. This was the first time he’d directly disobeyed Whis like this, not that there were many other things he’d been forbidden to do.

It was full of jars and boxes, all very beautiful and expensive-looking. Beerus reached up for the one that looked like it had some kind of red pearls in a spiral pattern on it. Another quick check that the angel was not standing right behind him. Then he opened it and discovered what he’d been forbidden to know about. The brown chunks inside didn’t look appetising to him, but the aroma that filled his nostrils when he cracked open the lid suggested looks weren’t everything. He brought the box closer, inhaling deeply. Should he…? How much trouble would he be in if Whis found out? Would Whis even notice one chunk gone? Shit, would he notice if Beerus placed the box back at a slightly different angle?

A sound jolted him back to his senses and he scrambled to quickly close the box and put it back in the cupboard, dashing out of the kitchen. There was no sign of Whis here, but what had made that noise? He eyed the aquarium suspiciously, wondering if one of the fish had done something. Back on the balcony he surveyed the grounds again, and there he was! Whis was casually watering the flowers he’d begun growing at the entrance.

Beerus wondered if it was a good idea to slip back into the kitchen and make sure he hadn’t replaced the box in a disorderly fashion, but the idea that Whis could come up at any moment made him reconsider. Yet he could use the pretence that he was hungry – and it wasn’t a lie! He had to go back. He couldn’t stand waiting for Whis to realise and punish him. As quietly as he could he tip-toed back to the kitchen, and was relieved he had because he’d left the decoy cupboard open! Before closing it he quickly checked the placement of the box in Whis’s cupboard, straightening it up before closing both cupboards and trying to remember which one Whis said he could snack out of.

 “My lord?”

 “Whis?!” His voice came out a lot higher pitched than intended; he hadn’t heard the angel coming.

Whis narrowed his eyes. “What have you done?”

 “I’m sorry!” Beerus blurted out, but he had had an idea come to him. “I accidentally looked in that cupboard you told me not to!” Yes, if he just owned up things would be easier. “It’s been so long since I came in here…I just started at one end and…”

 “Did you take anything?”

 “N-no!” Thank Zeno that he hadn’t had long enough to give into that temptation. “I just admired one of the boxes is all.”

Whis narrowed his eyes. “I see.” He’d check that momentarily. “Would you like breakfast?”

 “Yes please.”

Breakfast was lavish, as he’d come to expect. For a long time he said nothing, too busy stuffing his face with food.

 “Are you ready to resume training?”

Beerus nodded, cheeks stuffed with eggs.

 “I’d like to see you produce destructive energy again. I hope you remember how…”

 “It was only last night. I remember.”

Whis had a bemused look. “Yes, last night, about a year ago.”

Beerus shot him a confused look. “What d’you mean?”

 “You slept for a little over a year, my lord. Why else would you be up ‘so early’?”

 “You’re pulling my leg. You don’t just sleep for a _year_.”

Whis was still smiling. “Oh, you do. I’m sure you’ve already begun to feel the strange sense of time one is afforded when they are ageless. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but your body clock is already very much out of sync with the rest of the world. If it’s any consolation, it was probably a result of my rigorous training schedule.”

 “And no one came to visit me for a whole year?”

 “Your brother called. I had to turn him away.”

 “But -!”

 “You can see him any time. Vados assured me she would allow it.”

Beerus sat back, wondering what other strange things would happen to him next. And what was the maximum time he would be able to sleep for? Would it one day be on the scale of decades?

 

**Ooo**

 

The planet they found themselves on today specialised in drinks rather than food, much to Beerus’s disappointment. The establishments lining the streets were serving various kinds of alcohol, many bragging out their unique concoction, some places also sold food, and others offered accommodation. Whis chose a place for them to sit in and taste the local offerings.

 “So, there’s no…normal drinks?” Beerus asked.

The bartender looked confused. “This is normal? Beer, cider, larger –“ He began to point out the empty glasses in front of the god.

 “I mean non-alcoholic.”

 “Um, I can offer you some water? This is a pub, sir.”

 “What about tea?”

The bartender shook his head and slipped away, noticing he was being hailed by other customers.

 “Is this not to your liking, my lord?”

 “It’s different. I’ve never been to a ‘pub’ before. It’s not like alcohol was ever something we could afford. And _this_ isn’t nearly as good as the stuff Empress Hebi has been giving us.”

 “I figured it would be best to start you off with something light. Wine will get you drunk in no time.”

Beerus scoffed. “Have I ever been drunk before?”

 “Perhaps not, but you’ve certainly been tipsy after a couple of glasses. I always figured the food soaked up most of it.”

 “Hey! You!”

The bartender dashed back. “Yes, sir?”

 “Is there anything to eat in here?”

From under the bar he produced a bowl of nuts which Beerus looked at with narrowed eyes.

 “Is that it?”

 “Y-yes.” The poor man was sweating as he felt the displeasure resonating from Beerus. “There are a couple of places a few doors down that serve food.” At the point he’d gladly get rid of this customer.

Whis knocked Beerus’s arm playfully. “Come on, we can eat later.” He turned to the bartender. “Another for me, and a mead for him please.”

Beerus ate the nuts he’d been given, finding they made the mead a lot more thirst-quenching than it should have been. He had this place figured out.

 “What are you drinking anyway?” Beerus asked after Whis ordered him a very strange-sounding cocktail.

 “Whiskey.”

 “Why aren’t you -?” Beerus paused. “Wait. _Whis_ …key? Holy shit, Grand Zeno’s really made a joke out of us, huh?”

 “Took you long enough to realise.”

Beerus couldn’t help but laugh out loud, drawing the attention of the other patrons. “WHISKEY! AND BEER! Come on, that’s why you ordered me beer first, right?”

 “It just so happens to have the lowest alcoholic content.”

 “Hey, is that _another_ joke by Zeno? Is he tryna say something about me?”

Whis shrugged. “I believe your old name provided the means to rename you as such.”

 “So, did Champa get a stupid name too?”

 “Your brother is named after champagne, but they don’t serve it here, otherwise that would have been my wine choice for you.”

Beerus’s eyes widened. “Are we all named after drinks?”

 “Yes, my lord.”

There wasn’t long to ponder this development because his cocktail was served and it was a much more appealing drink than any of the others he’d been served so far. It was just a shame it was so small in comparison.

 “Are you sure this is alcoholic?” Beerus asked after his first long straw-full. “Tastes too good. Like fruit juice.”

 “The point of a cocktail is often to make it more palatable.”

At this point Beerus took over the ordering, going through most of the cocktails offered until Whis put a stop to it.

 “I think that’s enough for one night.”

 “What? But he’s still got like five more I wanna try!” Beerus whined.

 “What a good reason to come back then.” Whis slid some money across the bar, as if to show Beerus that this was final.

The destroyer looked at the three drinks still in front of him, wondering if he should make them last a long while just to piss Whis off. Unfortunately they were too tasty and he ended up finishing them faster than intended.

Whis stood up and Beerus reluctantly got to his feet too, finding himself unbalanced and grabbing hold of Whis’s arm to steady himself.

 “Glad I stopped you when I did?” Whis asked smugly.

Beerus frowned and tried to walk off, but not in the straight line he’d intended, stopping by the threshold to wait for Whis. “Maybe.”

To preserve Beerus’s dignity on this planet, Whis made the executive decision to leave immediately. He found the destroyer clinging to his waist as they sped home, as if he didn’t trust himself to keep his hand on his back.

 “Whis~”

 “Mm?”

 “How much longer? I really need to piss.”

 “Ten minutes.”

 “That’s so long! Can’t you go faster?” Beerus moaned. “Say, if I piss now will there be like drops across space in a big line? A long line? So long you don’t even notice it?”

 “I guess that would be the outcome. Still, I request you wait until we get home.”

Beerus huffed and kneaded his head into Whis’s back. “Why though? No one can see us at this speed, right? Or are you worried I’ll get some on you?”

 “Any one of the gods could be spying on us. I am merely preserving your dignity, my lord.”

With all his further whining, the final leg of the journey passed in no time, Whis landing them on the balcony so Beerus could rush inside. By the time Beerus made it back, Whis had something ready for him to eat, glad the destroyer hadn’t fallen asleep somewhere in the corridor.

 “What are you laughing at?” Beerus asked as he fell into his chair.

 “You are quite amusing is all.”

Beerus narrowed his eyes as he stuffed a roll filled with meat into his mouth. “Why aren’t _you_ drunk? You were drinking the same amount as me!”

 “It’s impossible.”

Beerus groaned. “Can’t sleep, can’t get drunk, what else _can’t_ you do? Sounds like a pretty boring way to live if you ask me.”

 “The list of things I can’t do is very short compared to what I can do. I wouldn’t worry about it. Besides, the things I can’t do are usually very useful in making sure that I can be the perfect attendant to you.”

 “Yeah, you’re pretty perfect, alright.” Beerus munched on, looking Whis up and down. “I just don’t know how you do it. It’s not even that you _do_ everything perfectly, you _look_ perfect while you do it too.” Noticing the surprise in Whis’s face he back-tracked. “I mean – you look perfect like, uh, like it’s no effort to do all this shit. Never look flustered or anything. Not to say that you don’t look perfect anyway, with that really symmec…” he stumbled over his words, “symmetrical face, nicely arched eyebrows and those purple lips…” _Ah fuck, this wasn’t back-tracking was it?_

 “Well, I shall take that as a compliment, thank you, Lord Beerus.”

 “And seeing as I’ve mentioned it, I might as well just ask now, are your lips naturally that colour?”

Whis leaned across the table, pressing his lips forward in a pout. “Why don’t you find out?”

 “Stop, you look like you’re going in for a kiss.” He pushed Whis back. “I want a bigger table so you can’t lean over like that. And I want it made of some nice rock. This wooden one isn’t to my liking anymore.”

 “As you wish.”

Beerus let out a loud burp and got up, head spinning from the sudden change. “I’m going to bed.” He began to walk off in the wrong direction.

 “My lord, your room’s –“

 “Too far.” Beerus slumped onto the sofa in the room that adjoined the dining room.

Whis sat next to his slumped form, making him sit up. “Please drink some water before you sleep.” He pushed the glass into Beerus’s hands, but the destroyer just held on to it. “You’ll feel better for it.”

Beerus frowned at it and looked up at Whis, realising the angel was going to make him drink it whether he liked it or not. He downed it and began to make himself comfortable, but realised they’d missed a very important detail in the form of cushions. Why had he agreed to throwing out all of the previous destroyer’s things? Instead he laid his head on Whis’s lap, finding it a suitable replacement. _Oh…_ This was going to be a self-heating pillow too, and he very much liked the idea of that.

This was an unexpected development, but Whis didn’t mind. He was glad to see Beerus was comfortable enough to sleep on him like this, but he hadn’t imagined Beerus would allow such a thing when he didn’t like physical contact very much.

Light snores began to seep out of the destroyer and Whis wondered if he would soon be able to slip away. As he thought his hand began to gently stroke Beerus’s head of its own accord and the snores turned to a faint purring instead. Whis’s hand froze momentarily as he took a moment to contain himself over the cuteness of what he was hearing. Perhaps sticking around a little longer wouldn’t be so bad after all.

 

**Ooo**

 “I suppose there are worse things I could have walked in on you doing,” Beerus croaked as he dragged himself into the kitchen, intent on drinking as much water as his body would let him.

Whis ceased his dancing. “I’m surprised you’re up already.”

 “I don’t feel like I should be. But the need for water is overwhelming.”

 “Aren’t you glad I made you have a glass last night?”

Beerus huffed. “Should have made me have more.”

 “Perhaps if you’d accepted the first one more easily. At least you’ll hopefully have learnt something.”

The sound of gulping filled the air before Beerus replied. “Yeah, don’t let you take me to a pub. Anyway, what was the dancing about?”

 “Nothing.”

Beerus eyed Whis as he downed another glass. “Suspicious answer.”

 “Can one not just enjoy a dance every now and then?”

 “Sure, I guess. Never took you for a dancer,” Beerus mused, “Dancing is all flexible, but you always look so stiff.”

 “Even when we train?”

Beerus paused. “I guess not… But the way you conduct yourself usually… I didn’t see dancing being your kind of thing.”

 “The previous destroyer liked to dance,” Whis said. “So naturally I learned, particularly when she required a partner. I could teach you if you’re interested.”

Somehow, despite his sluggish state, Beerus managed to react fast enough to stop Whis from closing in on him and pulling him into some kind of dance move. “No, thanks.” He set the glass down. “Guess I’ll try and get some more sleep before all this water wakes me up again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I must confess that I bullshit every scene involving alcohol. All of Whis's alcoholic knowledge comes straight from Google.


	7. The First Job

 “Don’t you get bored of it all?” Beerus asked as they sat by the lake, enjoying a picnic.

 “Bored of what?”

 “Living?”

Whis frowned. “Are you bored of immortality already, my lord?”

 “Of course not. But I wonder…will I?” Beerus picked up a peach, studying it. “Doesn’t it get tiring to watch everyone else pass away while you live on?” The discovery that Empress Hebi was no longer among the living had made him realise just how fleeting life was for everyone else. He’d only been away a few decades if he remembered correctly.

 “Not at all. In fact, I’d say that people passing on and new faces being born is precisely what keeps things fresh. It’s something you’ll get used to, Lord Beerus.”

So much for having life-long friends. “So, you, Champa…and the Supreme Kais are my ‘friends’ that won’t go dying on me, huh?”

 “Oh no, the Supreme Kais do age and die, albeit very slowly.”

 “WHAT?! You mean I’m gonna drop dead one day because my life-link kicks the bucket?!”

Whis laughed at the outburst. “No, no. Supreme kais retire and pass on their roles to their apprentices, along with the life-link. That’s one of the benefits of having 5 kais at present. You’re highly unlikely to die even if the Grand Supreme Kai does.”

 “ _Highly unlikely_ , that’s not one hundred percent certain, is it?”

Whis shrugged. “It’s not as if I have a point of reference on this one. As I’ve said before, it’s usually the destroyers that get the kais killed. If your kais do kill you, you’ll make history at least!”

 “Don’t smile like that’s a good thing!” Beerus finally bit into his peach. “Anyway, do _you_ have any ‘friends’ apart from the ones I’ve mentioned?”

 “I’ve 17 siblings, my father, Grand Zeno –“

 “Are you seriously saying you consider Grand Zeno a _friend_?”

Whis hummed. “Maybe not – more of an acquaintance perhaps? Sometimes it’s useful to have a father in high places. But anyone else… Just you. I’m not on familiar terms with the other destroyers, but I hope Lord Champa might be more than an acquaintance someday.”

 “You consider me a friend?” Beerus asked. “Not just a student, or a kid you have to feed and clean up after?”

 “Of course not. We go out, we have fun. You’re genuinely good company, my lord. It’s one of the reasons I chose you for the position.”

 “Then why do you always call me ‘lord’? Doesn’t seem like something a friend would do.”

 “It’s ingrained in me, part of my duty to you. Besides, if I were to start calling you by name so casually I may forget to add your title when it does matter.”

Beerus wondered if he’d feel differently if Whis _did_ drop his title. He liked being called ‘lord’ but had the novelty worn off?

 “It’s a simple matter of respect where it’s due,” Whis said when Beerus seemed to drift off. “Please don’t think too hard about it. You’ll find all the angels are the same.”

 

**Ooo**

The Supreme Kai still looked as young as Beerus remembered him, even though it was now several centuries since they first met. At least he knew the kai wouldn’t be getting anywhere near old age any time soon.

 “So, uh, what brings you here?” Beerus asked awkwardly, not sure if he should be offering tea or snacks, instead waiting for Whis to appear and offer what was appropriate.

 “We should set a date for the coordination meeting. I figured you would like some input as to when.”

 “Oh…” He remembered Whis mentioning something about this, but it had been a long time since. “Uh, anytime. I’m not exactly a busy guy.”

The kai frowned, shooting a concerned look at Beerus. “Not busy? Are you not training and learning every day?”

 “Of course! But it’s not like _I_ get to decide these things – Whis does all that. I’m sure that whatever day you chose will be fine. Whis isn’t going to say no, is he?”

 “What am I agreeing to?” Whis asked, wondering what possibly could have Beerus talking to himself in more than the usual under-the-breath mutter. “Oh! Supreme Kai, how unexpected!”

The kai cocked his head. “So you’d forgotten about the coordination meeting?”

Whis blinked. “Oh… Well, would you look at the time!” He peered into his staff. “So it is! We’ve been so wrapped up in training that it must have slipped my mind.”

 “Did you need more time?” the kai asked.

 “Not at all, I think it’s about the right time for Lord Beerus to experience his first one.”

 “And will…” The kai glanced up at Beerus. “Will the outcomes of the meeting be met?”

Beerus wondered what that question meant, but Whis went ahead assuring the kai that all would be fine.

 “Say we say… Six tics from now?” the kai offered. “I assume that will be enough time to brief Lord Beerus?”

 “That’s plenty, sir. Excuse me, we’ve been quite rude not offering you any tea, would you care for some?”

 “No, thank you. I should be on my way. I have my own ‘students’ to brief.” The kai bowed and was gone in a blink.

Beerus stared after him for a moment. “Before I ask what that was all about, can I first know how the fuck he disappeared like that? Did he just go home?”

 “It’s called the kai-kai ability. Supreme kais are able to travel anywhere in the universe in the blink of an eye – Grand Zeno’s realm included.”

 “Eh? Why can’t _you_ do that?” Beerus jabbed at Whis. “Why isn’t the Supreme Kai giving us a lift around the universe if he’s so fast?”

 “I suppose you’ll just have to add that to the small list of things I can’t do.”

 “It won’t be small for much longer at this rate.”

 “But if you want a serious answer, I believe it’s to stop destroyers going anywhere too fast. You won’t appreciate the sentiment just yet, but hopefully you will soon. The fact is that if you were going somewhere the Supreme Kai thought was a bad idea, he can always get there first. But, if you’re looking for an improved taxi service, I suggest you start getting chummy with one of them.”

Beerus hummed. “Would it be frowned upon to use my kai like that?”

Whis smirked at the use of the possessive. “Until you’re acquainted with the other destroyers, who could possibly frown upon it?”

 “And when will I meet the others?”

 “Hopefully not for a while yet.”

Beerus pouted. He was becoming increasingly more curious about the other destroyers, partially because he wanted to see a fully-fledged one to know how far he had yet to go before his training would end. Ah, but Whis said his training would never truly end. Still, there must come a point when it slowed down and he could have more rest days than he was currently being allowed. “So, this meeting…?”

 “Perhaps you’d like a drink and something to snack on while I explain it?”

 “Is it going to take that long?”

 “It could do.”

Armed with the latest irresistible fruit juice and salty, crispy potato chips, Beerus listened intently to Whis’s description. He explained how they would discuss planets that should be destroyed, or started afresh. Whis guessed the kais would likely already have a list prepared, but that Beerus was free to suggest planets himself.

 “I don’t want any planets we’ve visited destroyed. They’ve all been good so far.”

 “Well then, make sure you listen and read anything they give you so you can argue your point,” Whis said.

He went on to describe the kinds of planets that would be listed for destruction – inhabitable planets, planets drenched in endless war – planets that weren’t contributing to the mortal level of the universe.

 “But remember, the mortal level is not just how strong the inhabitants are,” Whis said. “It’s also to do with intelligence and the ability to further civilisation. There is a planet out there full of tiny mice people. They’re among the weakest in the universe, having been forced underground by predators on the surface, _but_ this has led to them being pioneers in vehicle manufacturing. They are very important to keep at the moment.”

Beerus nodded thoughtfully. Whis continued, explaining that the kais would be creating while he was destroying, and that Beerus was free to suggest ideas for the kinds of species the kais may try to create.

 “Can I ask them to create an even tastier fish?”

 “You could. But I should warn you that often the kais will set life in motion and not necessarily continue to cultivate what they’ve made. Many of the kais I’ve seen prefer life to be organic and move in its own direction.”

There were a few more details to discuss, but these were mainly to do with how he should address the kais, how to show proper respect, blah blah. He was sure the kais would forgive him at his first meeting if he committed any serious faux pas.

 “So earlier, when the kai asked about the outcomes…?”

 “Bold of him to ask so directly in your presence,” Whis said. “He was merely asking if you’d developed the ability to destroy yet.”

 “Okay, but you’re saying I’ll have to destroy a whole planet – potentially?”

Whis nodded. “Don’t worry, my lord, you’ll be fine.”

 

**Ooo**

 

The meeting had long lost him, and his cup was empty, the tea in the pot now cold. There was nothing for him to add, and the kais seemed to have the discussion covered. He wondered why they hadn’t had this in-depth discussion before he arrived, but maybe he was supposed to be listening so he could agree or disagree? Not that they were asking for his opinion, or even looking in his direction much at all.

He turned the cup around in his hands, admiring the fine china. He _had_ tried to pay attention at the start, but they weren’t discussing interesting things like whether the planets had any good food. Whis wouldn’t have taken him to any of the planets being discussed. How long was this meeting going to last? Whis had told him these meetings happen every thousand years, so if they were listing a thousand years’ worth of work… This could be a while.

And yet he _still_ hadn’t learnt any names. Did kais have personal names? They were sitting here calling each other by the quadrant of the universe they oversaw, and never once slipped up. He had to assume they called each other these names all the time, and he wondered what it was like to live here. Was it like living with colleagues? Did any of them have a more familiar relationship? Were any of them siblings? Could kais have siblings?

He looked around, trying to decide if any of them looked more like each other than the others. And did kais have relationships? Would that be weird? His mind began to wander down a different path, and he quickly snapped out of it in case they could read his mind or something.

He had been staring at North absentmindedly when he noticed Grand close the book out the corner of his eye. Could it be…? The book was passed around the table for all to glance over before it was left in front of Beerus. From behind him Whis came and took the book.

 “Would you like more tea before you go?” Grand asked.

Beerus finally came to his senses, wondering how much he’d missed. “I’m good, thank you.” He just wanted to leave – he was itching to get out of this chair.

They said their farewells – likely until the next meeting Whis guessed – and shot off into the sky.

 “Well done on not falling asleep, my lord!”

 “Mmm, that’s why you let me sleep until we had to leave, right?”

Whis chuckled. “Perhaps. I was hoping you’d take more interest as it was your first one, but I could tell you were far away.”

 “Did the other destroyers enjoy these meetings?”

 “Not particularly. The kais are quite the little chatterboxes when they want to be, and with five of them it’s always difficult to get a word in edgeways.”

 “Well, was today’s discussion any good? They seemed pretty good at this meeting thing considering it’s their first one too.”

 “Well, the Grand Supreme Kai did witness the last one,” Whis said. “But it was quite cute to watch them discussing so eagerly all the things they’ve clearly been reading up on. For once _I_ enjoyed it. Unfortunately it’s all downhill from here.”

 “It is?”

 “If you think you were bored, imagine how it must be for me, someone who cannot interfere, and whose only job is to take you to the planets listed after the meeting is concluded. If they were ever to list somewhere I was fond of there would be nothing I could do about it.”

Beerus frowned at the prospect. “Well, you’ll have to let me know which ones they are so I can veto on your behalf.” The idea that Whis would lose a place he enjoyed didn’t sit well with Beerus for a reason he couldn’t quite articulate.

 “Oh, there’s no need to worry about that, my lord, for I am in the process of making sure you become fond of my favourite planets too!”

 “How sly of you.” He quickly thought about the places they had visited. “You have good taste.”

 

**Ooo**

They floated, gazing out at the small, malformed planet. It certainly didn’t look very inviting from where they were.

 “And you want me to destroy it?” Beerus clarified.

 “That _is_ your job.”

Beerus nodded, a little overwhelmed at the size of the job now he was before it. How much energy did it take to blow a planet to pieces? He manifested a ball in his hand, staring at it, unsure of how much bigger he could make it at this point in time.

 “You’ll need more than that, my lord,” Whis said.

Beerus concentrated, making the ball grow larger until he felt he needed two hands to keep it in check.

 “More.”

He held it above his head now, looking up to make sure it wasn’t going anywhere. Was Whis going to push him until the ball was as big as the planet?

 “Put more energy into it,” Whis said. “And be confident.”

 “Easy for you to say.”

His strength was fading fast, not used to holding energy like this for so long, and he decided to throw it. The ball seemed to move slowly across space towards the planet, neither of them saying anything as it travelled far enough that it was just a speck in the distance. A minute later there was a ripple across the surface, and a crater formed. Beerus smiled, glad to get some kind of reaction after thinking the energy would dissipate before it hit its destination.

Upon glancing up at Whis, his smile faded. The angel was sporting an unimpressed frown as he pondered whether Beerus would be able to complete this job today.

 “Shall I try again?” Beerus asked with a defeated tone.

Whis raised a hand, extending one finger upwards. “Please pay attention.” A ball several times larger than the one Beerus had managed appeared, seeming to balance on the tip of that single finger. “Note the amount of ki I’m wielding.” Once he received a nod of understanding from Beerus he contracted the ball until it could fit neatly in his palm. “Has it changed?”

Beerus concentrated hard. Of course it had changed – it was a fraction of the size! “No, there’s still the same amount of ki.”

 “Good.” Whis smiled and the ki was extinguished. “I will teach you to manipulate ki like this next.”

Beerus tried to replicate what Whis had shown him.

 “Yes, and no. You’re just expanding the space the ki inhabits. Quite the opposite of what I showed you, really.” Whis watched as Beerus expanded and contracted his ball a few more times. “You need to put more ki into the starting ball.” Whis hummed. “We need to do more training. Much more.”

 “Could you have destroyed the planet with what you made?”

 “Oh, yes.” Whis caught the glint in Beerus’s eye. “But I won’t destroy your first planet for you.”

Beerus groaned. “I wish you’d picked one closer to home so we didn’t have to travel all the way out here again.”

 “If you don’t want to travel back then I’ll wait here until you _do_ destroy it. There’s no rush.”

 “But –“ What did that even mean? Was Whis implying he had the capability to do it now even if he didn’t know it? “Can you, uh, not watch?” Beerus asked.

 “As you wish.” Whis turned and looked in the other direction.

 “Oh… I meant…”

Whis turned back. “Where did you wish me to go?” He surveyed the vast expanse of space. “The only planet around here is the one you're trying to destroy.”

 “Yeah, on second thought _I’ll_ go.” Beerus flew closer, wondering how close to get. Would it be easier from the surface itself? Whis certainly wouldn't be able to see him there. He thought about the impact of his last blast and decided being within the atmosphere would be better. He didn't want to be waiting as long as he did for the last blast to hit.

It wasn't easy work. He began to tire almost immediately, not used to actually putting much energy into his blasts. Everything until now had been more theoretical, and everything he had destroyed thus far had been no more than the size of a tree (an unfortunate loss for him).

Whis watched as Beerus hacked away at the surface bit by bit. Was he really going to do it this way? He didn't watch for long - as requested of course - preferring to check out arrangements for dinner - assuming Beerus finished up in time.

The core was a like a furnace which didn't help. He was already sweating from exertion and this heat wasn't helping. Any lesser being would have already passed out and that thought made him quite proud of how far he’d come.

A blast sailed past him, joining with the one he’d just sent, blowing the core to smithereens in a blast of light and heat. Beerus reeled around, coming face to face with Whis.

“I was almost done!” Anger rose in his chest at the fact Whis had stolen the last part from him.

“Yes, your persistence was unexpected. However, we have dinner plans.”

“Do we now?” Beerus’s tone was far from amused, even though the prospect of food should have placated him.

“Yes, I figured you'd be working up quite the appetite.”

Much to his dismay his stomach growled as if it had a mind of its own. “Well what if I just want to go home and sleep?”

“You are welcome to do so. I'll drop you off on the way.”

“You'd go without me? And leave me alone?”

Whis nodded. “You've proven you can look after yourself. Besides, if you plan on sleeping there's no reason for me to stick around.”

Beerus huffed. He wanted to eat _and_ sleep. And he didn't know if he wanted to be around Whis at the moment.

Whis turned his back, motioning for Beerus to hang on. “I hope you realise how much more training you've got to do.”

He didn't need to be told that. It had become very obvious very quickly what needed to be done. “I expect you to start teaching me properly.”

Whis was taken aback. “You say that as if I haven't.” He felt Beerus’s hand on his back and set off immediately. “So, do you want to go home or with me?”

 “Home,” Beerus mumbled. “But bring me something from wherever you’re going.”


	8. Mead & Sherry

 “Nice crib!”

Beerus looked up from his dessert to see who in this universe was audacious enough to interrupt him and his cake. A tall, lanky-looking dog-like man stood there, happily inviting himself in to look around.

 “Fish tank’s pretty sweet. Might be one to think about, eh, Sherri?”

The angel behind him nodded, but it was unclear if she was impressed or not. Beerus noted that she was considerably shorter than Whis and Vados, much to his surprise – at some point he’d decided they were all tall, thin and beautiful. Sherri did not fit this description, even if she had the same flawless skin as Whis.

 “ _Who_ are you?” Beerus asked. He’d figured out he was finally meeting a God of Destruction who wasn’t his brother, but Whis hadn’t told him which patterns signified which universe.

 “Of course!” The man tipped an imaginary hat. “I’m Meed – of Universe 4. A pleasure to finally be allowed to visit the new destroyer of Universe 11. I’ve been begging Whis to let me visit since Vados let me visit your brother – that’s crazy, you’ll have to tell me the story some time!”

Well, he seemed friendly enough. “I’m Beerus.”

 “Hey, Beerus, am I the first destroyer you’ve met?” Meed asked.

 “Barring my brother, yes.”

Meed smiled. “Sweet! I feel all special now. But yeah, Beerus, buddy, you gotta chill out. You’re giving me vibes like I shouldn’t be here.”

Beerus pointedly cut his cake with his spoon. “You could have called ahead. I’m not a fan of surprise visitors.”

 “Sure thing, buddy. I’ve intruded on your cake, right? Good to see you’re a real foodie too. Common trait among destroyers that is. But I thought Whis might have told you I was coming.”

Beerus flicked his eyes towards the angel.

 “Apologies, my lord, I didn’t realise Lord Meed would be making his way _immediately_ once I’d given permission for my sister to bring him.”

Understandable enough, especially based on what Beerus had seen so far. “So, what brings you here, Meed?”

 “You. Just wanted to meet you. Wanted to be the first. You know, some of the other destroyers are a bit…” He trailed off, as if Beerus was meant to know what he meant.

Beerus munched on his cake as he waited for Meed to find the word. “Yeah, Meed, you’re going to have to expand. You’re the first one I’ve met, remember.”

Meed laughed nervously. “Nah, I’m not going to be the first one to speak badly of another. But you’ll find you’ll be friendlier with some, and have more friction with others. Just wanted to drop by and make sure we’re on the right foot, you know? Maybe you can be an honorary member of the Multiples of Four Club.”

 “Right…” Was he meant to know what that meant?

 “Well, I’ll come back at a better time.” Meed turned and went back out the doors he’d come through, immediately switching back to talk of the fish tank.

Beerus waited for the doors to close before turning to Whis with a cock of the head. “So, Universe 4?”

Whis smiled. “Yes, quite the excitable one, isn’t he?”

 “A bit full-on, yes. You know him well?”

 “Not really.”

 “He seemed to be familiar with you. And Vados.”

 “Most of that ‘begging’ he referred to was done through Sherri. I only spoke to him a few times when he became quite impatient.”

Beerus nodded. “Yeah, seems the type. I didn’t expect other destroyers to be so…nice? Really I was expecting him to demand a piece of my cake, or try to take it by force when I said no.”

 “Some of them are like that. Lord Meed is a more social god compared to the majority. I thought your approach to him was excellent. You were the right amount of intimidating and didn’t let that slip even when you admitted he was the first destroyer you’d met. I know other universes that would have taken advantage of that. It’s one of the reasons I was happy to let Lord Meed meet you first.”

 “I guess I have a few social cues to learn too. Are there any destroyers to watch out for?”

Whis shrugged. “Universe 1 and 18 are always ones to be wary of. Those universes tend to be the more powerful, and their gods too. But at the same time, they tend to stick to themselves, so you probably won’t even meet them until you have to.”

 “Meed said I might have friction with some of them.”

 “Yes, you’ll come across someone you can’t stand. I couldn’t tell you who that is though.”

 “Are you lining up more visitors?” Beerus asked.

 “No. The others don’t seem as interested in you just yet. Maybe when you begin destroying a little more…”

Beerus gripped his spoon tighter. “I’m getting there.”

 “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. Destroyers like to compare, and you’ve not much to compare right now. I _am_ pleased by the progress you’re making. Planets are not easy to destroy after all.”

 “Well apparently they are. For _you_.”

 “Don’t compare us like that. It’s like saying –“ Whis stopped. “Forgive me, you wouldn’t appreciate the comparison I was about to make.”

Beerus was intrigued as to what Whis had thought of, but decided he didn’t want to hear it if Whis thought it wasn’t appropriate to share. “So, tell me, do you think it would be good for me to fight Meed? For a bit of training.”

Whis pursed his lips as he thought about it. “I suppose it would be beneficial. And I’m sure Lord Meed would enjoy it too. As long as the pair of you agree that no destructive powers are used. Grand Zeno may have forbidden you to fight your brother, but I heard that as a warning to not fight any other destroyers.”

 “I thought he meant it in a ‘don’t kill each other’ way.”

 “Yes, but I’m still not letting you and Lord Champa trade blows in case Grand Zeno is watching.”

 “Well, when Meed contacts you again, invite him over. And _tell me_.” He didn’t want surprise guests again.

 

**Ooo**

 “Whis~” Beerus trilled.

The angel hummed, not looking up from his staff.

 “Hey.” Beerus put his chin on Whis’s shoulder. “Why are you ignoring me? Where’s the ‘yes, my lord?’ huh?”

 “Because when you call my name like that I know you’re after something unnecessary – and usually requiring more work on my behalf.”

 “Maybe~”

 “Hmm, what could it be this time? Bake you a cake? Take you to the pub with the tasty beer you can drink more than a few glasses of? Give you a massage?”

Beerus gave a quick ‘no’ to all these things, even if they were all quite tempting. “I mean, I _do_ want you to take me somewhere.”

 “Where’s that?”

 “I don’t know. I was hoping you could help me out. I want to go somewhere _pleasurable.”_ He stressed the word.

Whis hummed for a second before it hit him. “Planet Catcholeo.”

 “Uh…”

 “My, my, how could you forget?!” Whis closed his eyes, remembering their last visit. “The smoothest, silkiest chocolate in the universe! Nothing would bring me more pleasure than to return there.”

Again, it was tempting. “That’s…not what I meant.”

He felt Whis’s shoulders slump under his chin. “Unfortunate. You’ll have to be a bit more specific then.”

Beerus sighed. “I was trying to ask where the best brothel in the universe is.”

 “Oh.” There was a hint of disappointment. “I couldn’t say. Perhaps you’d like me to take you to planet Hachu?”

 “Are you seriously telling me that you don’t know anywhere else? The previous destroyer didn’t have another favourite?”

 “Hachu was the go-to. She liked the grandeur of the palace.”

 “Uh-huh, but Hachu’s palace isn’t a brothel. It just so happens to be an added service afforded to us.”

 “To _you_ ,” Whis corrected him.

 “Wow, mean. Don’t they know who you are?”

Whis rolled his eyes. “My lord, this is not my area of expertise simply because I don’t partake in such activities.”

Beerus took a moment to rethink some assumptions. “Okay. Well… I’ll just add that to the list of things you can’t do.”

 “Please don’t, if only because unlike getting drunk, I _am_ able to have sex.”

 “Fine, fine.” He suddenly really didn’t want to be having this conversation for a reason he hadn’t quite worked out yet. “Let’s… Look, I don’t want to go to Hachu because every time we go we inevitably end up in the palace whether we wanted to or not.”

 “I’ll take you to Planet Sarkay.”

Beerus remembered the name; they’d been there before.

 “I can’t vouch for the establishment, but I know it exists. Perhaps it would be good for you to try something new and untested. I fear we’ve become a bit set in our ways recently.”

 _As if I’ve had enough time off of training to go exploring_ , Beerus thought. “I expect you to save me a deep fried prawn.”

 “I’ll order you a portion when you’re done.”

 “Say, you’re not gonna pay someone to beat me up again, are you?” Despite his memory of the prawns, he hadn’t requested to go back.

 “No, but I’ll be paying someone to incapacitate you in a different way I suppose.”

 “On the way you can tell me all about how you get your money for all these places.”

 

**Ooo**

 

The prawns were good as always, but the new fresh-faced youth that had started working for the family business had decided to try a few new things out. The octopus balls were novel and certainly going to be his new go-to should they prove popular enough to stick around.

 “Jeez, how many have you had?” Beerus asked as he dropped into the chair opposite Whis, noting the pile of boat-shaped baskets.

 “I’ve been going through the menu,” Whis explained. “They _do_ serve more than just prawns.” He signalled a waiter, already having arranged for Beerus’s portion to arrive when he did. “How was your evening?”

 “Good. I don’t know what you told the Madam, or how much you paid her, but everything was offered to me. I’m actually quite well-fed - something I didn’t expect.”

 “It did appear to be a higher-class establishment. It seems they offer more general entertainment too.”

Beerus licked his lips as the prawns appeared in front of him. “I’m surprised you didn’t stay to taste their food – something new to you.”

 “I didn’t want to intrude. It seemed like something you’d prefer to do alone.”

Beerus waited until he’d finished savouring the first prawn. “Maybe you should come next time. The food had a certain sweetness that made me wonder if it should perhaps be dessert instead.”

He caught the twitch of Whis’s lips. “I would gladly accept that invitation.”

 

**Ooo**

 

Meed was a terrible guest. His first faux pas being that he’d invited _another_ guest. Beerus understood that destroyers came with angels, but destroyers didn’t have to invite other destroyers who also came with an angel. He now had four guests rather than the two he’d expected.

 “This is Rumush!” Meed was eager to introduce the pink elephant man. “Rumush, this Beerus, brother to Champa.”

Rumush gave a singular nod as he ran his eyes over Beerus, sizing him up. Beerus immediately got the impression that Rumush was not as friendly as Meed was. He noticed movement by Rumush’s leg and saw that there was an angel even shorter than Sherri. And she looked like a child as she stared up at him.

 “Nice,” was all she said with a nod.

Beerus didn’t know what to make of that, watching as she walked past him to join Whis who had set up a table for his siblings and himself to have tea at.

 “So, angels start working as kids, huh?” Beerus asked to break the awkward silence – something he’d hoped Meed would do.

 “Kusu is the oldest,” Rumush said.

Beerus did a double-take and laughed. “You’re funny, Rumush. Delivered that with such a stern face I believed you for a moment.”

 “I’m quite serious.” His eyes narrowed as he gazed at Beerus. “Kusu is the oldest of all the angel siblings.”

 “Well, damn.” He was going to comment something along the lines of Rumush keeping her stress-free to keep her looking so youthful, but he wasn’t sure how the stern destroyer would respond.

 “So, Whis said you had something to ask me?” Meed had been trying not to ask so soon, but he’d been so curious as to what it was.

Beerus wondered if he should ask to spar when there was a third destroyer present. Rumush gave off an aura that suggested he was more powerful than he appeared. But with another destroyer and angel present, perhaps it was the best time to do it. He didn’t think Meed would try to kill him, but the more eyes watching, the better – not that he didn’t trust Whis alone to come to his aid if necessary. They had already discussed what was too far and when Whis would stop them.

 “You seem like you’d be up for it,” Beerus started, “So I wanted to ask if you’d spar with me for a little training?”

Meed’s tail wagged a few times with excitement. “Would I?! I’d love to!” He elbowed Rumush. “See? Beerus is a good one. Hey, let’s make it a three-way match!”

Rumush frowned. “Not interested.”

Meed groaned. “ _Fine_. You can watch and give us tips then.”

 “Just hand-to-hand combat,” Beerus said. “Nothing more.”

 “Fine by me.”

Meed’s excitable personality was reflected in his fighting style. He was quick, unpredictable, and quite fun to spar with. His techniques weren’t standard fare and inspired Beerus to come up with his own unique moves in the future. Still, Beerus’s strength lay in hand-to-hand combat, so he wasn’t as out of his depth as he worried he might be.

There was no real winner. They sparred until Meed gave up, citing boredom and pointing out that Beerus was tiring. He still had to work on his stamina, something that had taken a back bench while he focused on improving his ki. Rumush’s criticisms were textbook, and Beerus had already heard most of them from Whis. It was much more interesting to hear his critique of Meed, especially as Rumush had at some point sparred with Meed.

 “Well,” said Meed as they indulged in small cakes provided by Sherri, “I think I’d agree to having you as an honorary member of the Multiples of Four Club. What d’you say, Rumush?”

 “If you wish.”

Beerus noted Rumush’s lack of enthusiasm. “What exactly is this club?”

 “Just us destroyers from Universes 4, 8, 12, and 16, looking out for each other’s backs. But seeing as you’re Champa’s brother and I like you, I figure we can include you too.”

 “But not your own paired universe?”

Meed shrugged. “I guess it’s weird having your brother as your pair, but you know, most of us just want our universe to be the better one of the pair. I mean, I don’t want Brandie to die, because we’ve got good banter, but…she’s not part of the club. This is a special club. Just for us.”

 “I appreciate being included, I guess?”

A beeping sound filled the air and Meed scrambled about in his pockets. “Ah! Sherri! It’s time!”

The angel barely had time to get up before Meed rushed over to her, quickly yelling his goodbyes before disappearing in a flash of light. It was nice to know he looked that flashy when he and Whis departed.

 “What was all that about?” Beerus mumbled, mainly to himself.

 “Meed is a…eccentric man,” Rumush said. “Some of the older destroyers can’t stand him.”

 “You do.”

 “Yes, I have the right kind of disposition to suffer someone like that. Really I am hoping that my presence will have some sort of positive effect on him eventually.”

 “That’s good of you. I didn’t think destroyers were the kind to care about others.” He certainly didn’t see any reason to take an interest in the affairs of other universes when he had his own to worry about. Perhaps it would come with age.

 “They’re not. But Meed is a good man, and I think he makes a good destroyer. I would rather we keep the good ones and extinguish some of the more spontaneous.”

 “Sounds like a word I’d use to describe Meed.”

Rumush shook his head. “When it comes to the job itself, Meed takes time to debate with his Supreme Kais, as one should. He is good at both halves of his job – both the destruction itself and the decisions before it. I hope you follow in his footsteps in that respect.”

Beerus nodded, feeling as if he’d just been imparted some wisdom from Rumush. “I’ll do my best.”

 “It has been good to meet you, Beerus. I hope we meet again someday.”

 “Not a fan of casual visits?”

 “No. This was merely a courtesy call to meet you. Unless you need something from me, or I from you, I doubt we’ll see each other any time soon. Meed, on the other hand, you can expect to see more than your kais.”

Rumush motioned to Kusu, and Beerus watched as the tiny angel actually mussed Whis’s hair. Now he believed she was the eldest.

 

**Ooo**

 

The Madam had made them feel quite at home with a private lounge, a handful of her best entertainers, and all of the dishes Beerus had enjoyed last time. She wasn’t a fool not to make a note of what the mysterious high-paying guest had praised on his first visit, and now she would hopefully reap the rewards for as long as his interest held.

 “Oh, _this_ was really good last time.” Beerus used the raised plate in the centre of the table to spin the dish towards Whis.

There was a gleam in Whis’s eyes as he looked at the glazed meat. “I must say, I can’t believe I never tried this place before. To think a brothel could be hiding such a talented cook!”

 “The Madam’s two eldest children,” a girl offered as she refilled their cups with tea.

 “Please give them my compliments,” Whis said, unsure if he would be able to deliver them in person. He took a moment to appreciate the aroma before popping a piece of meat in his mouth. Immediately Whis let out a pleasured moan as the flavours danced on his tongue.

Beerus never paid attention to the dramatics of Whis and food, but sitting in a brothel made him wonder if the reason Whis was so vocal at this moment was because he felt no shame. _He_ certainly wouldn’t make such a noise in public like that – not that they were in public now, but Whis had done so before on many occasions. Is this the only time Whis ever made such noises?

He had to stop thinking about this. Ever since Whis had told him he refrained from sex it had made Beerus even more curious about the angel. He found himself wondering things about Whis he’d never thought of before – and his mind particularly liked to ponder if Whis pleasured himself. A question Beerus didn’t need an answer to! He didn’t need to know these things. Especially if he was going to be living with this man for the rest of his life. And yet his brain sometimes just started thinking about such things! He really –

 “Lord Beerus?”

His head snapped up. “Yeah?” _Great_. He’d zoned out a bit there.

 “Are you okay? Did you want more of this?” Whis motioned to the dish he was still enjoying.

 “No, you enjoy it. Maybe you’ll be able to crack the recipe.” He reclined on his sofa. “I never found out if you offer dessert.”

 “Naturally,” one of the young men said. “Chocolate is a particular favourite of our customers, after all.”

Beerus ordered a selection of things – intent on trying as much as possible. “So, what are the chances I’ll meet other destroyers?”

 “High. Eventually you’ll come across them all. It could take thousands, tens of thousands, even a million years before you do. Some of them are so much older than you that they really are in no hurry to drop by.”

 “Am I not something new and interesting to them?”

 “Not yet. You’re still training, and they know you’ll be nothing more than a toddler to them.”

 “Ouch.” Who were these assholes?

 “ _You_ can always call on _them_.”

Beerus paused for thought. He didn’t like the idea of turning up to someone’s house who he’d never met – didn’t even know the name of – and asking if he could hang out for a bit. He wasn’t like Meed. What would he even say? _Hi, I’m Beerus and I’m just being nosey._

 “Maybe in a few millennia,” Beerus said. Which to him right now was the equivalent of forever.

Dessert was a much more intimate affair with the entertainers. He hadn’t asked, but it seemed they believed it was expected of them to feed their guests dessert. Beerus thought about putting a stop to it, but he quite liked having the work taken out of eating like this, especially when he had a sofa to lounge on. The girl carefully spooning cake into his mouth made sure to run her hands across his body as he savoured each bite.

There was definitely something more to this cake. Surely it couldn’t just be the flavour that made him feel this good. _Ah, I know_ –

 “Whis, how’s the cake?”

 “Light as a feather, a perfect ratio of cream…but far too little of it!” He sat straight-backed as always, not enjoying the comforts afforded to him. Still, he was allowing one of the girls to feed him, much to Beerus’s surprise.

 “Would you like some more, sir?” she asked.

 “No, no, there are a further three cakes to sample, as well as these wrapped sweets and five jellies!”

 “What would you like next?”

 “Stick with cake. I wouldn’t want to change texture so erratically on this journey.”

The young man with control of the table handed her a minty green slice of cake.

 “Well, looks like you’ll be here a while,” Beerus said. “I’m going to duck out for a bit.” He looked around at the entertainers, eventually settling on one. “You, with me, bring that orange thing with you.” He hadn’t quite worked out what to call the dessert.

The man picked it up and began to follow Beerus out of the room.

 “And you!” He pointed at the girl about to feed Whis the next cake, having noticed her hand on his thigh. “Don’t touch him.” The notion that Whis couldn’t stand up for himself was ridiculous, but still Beerus wondered if the angel was just being too polite.

She looked confused and slightly worried, but luckily Beerus left quickly.

 “Don’t worry about him.” Whis smiled as he leaned in for the cake. “Please continue as you were.” Really he thought it sweet that Beerus was thinking about his comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The truth about the name of Planet Sarkay? That's how my Dad pronounces 'sake' (and imagine it in a British accent too). All my other planet names tend to be anagrams or, in some cases we have yet to reach, words spelt backwards.


	9. Universe 7

Someone was grabbing him, pulling him away from his comfort. He tried to hold on to what he could, but they were strong. They kept shoving him, and then their voice was becoming louder in his ears.

 “Please wake up, Lord Beerus!”

He jolted awake, suddenly aware it wasn’t a dream at all. It took a moment for him to get his bearings – he was being carried by Whis down the corridor, the angel clearly in a hurry.

 “Wuz goin’ on?” Beerus asked.

 “The Grand Priest has summoned us to Grand Zeno’s palace.”

It took a moment for Beerus to process why this had Whis forcing him into a bath and telling him to wash quickly. The cold water woke him right up.

 “What? Why?!” he called after Whis who was already disappearing out the door.

He got no reply, instead leaving his mind to make up its own ideas. The idea of seeing Grand Zeno wasn’t what made him fear today, it was the fact that Whis was rushing around.

The angel returned a few minutes later, drying him with a touch of his staff and thrusting clothes into Beerus’s hands. “Hey, Whis.”

The angel stopped. “Yes?”

 “Is everything okay?”

His response wasn’t immediate. “I don’t know.”

That did nothing to alleviate his fears, only increasing them. _Whis_ didn’t _know_? How could he not? He could feel himself breaking out in a cold sweat as he dressed.

 

The Grand Supreme Kai was there to pick him up, seeming quite jovial about the whole thing. Clearly he had never had Grand Zeno destroy his planet before his eyes.

 “I’ve not yet had the chance to visit Grand Zeno himself!” the kai said enthusiastically. “Of course, the Grand Priest took me to the doors to show me how to get there – a perk of the job – but I’ve never had reason to call on the omni-king himself.”

Beerus didn’t want to shatter whatever slightly more positive image the kai had of Zeno, hoping that he had just had a bad first impression. Still, he couldn’t get Whis’s unsure expression out of his mind.

When they appeared outside the palace he found they were not the first to arrive. The sight of everyone else gathered made Beerus temporarily forget his worries. Whis’s siblings were easy to spot among them, but not Kusu who he was sure was hiding next to Rumush. The other kais were quite similar – on the shorter side, usually sporting a white crop of hair, and wearing earrings he had never thought to ask about. Perhaps there was more to them if they were inter-universal.

Mainly he gazed out at the other destroyers. While the angels and kais bore very similar traits, the destroyers were all very different. He and Champa stood out among them for their similarity, but he noticed his brother was growing ever larger. As he scanned around the people gathered he noticed Meed wasn’t among them. He had been hoping to get information on the others from Meed rather than walk up to them himself. Yet, no one seemed to be socialising outside of hushed whispers in their trios.

The reality of the situation returned as Beerus realised that destroyers who’d been here before were in no way relaxed about this sudden summons.

 “Creators,” a voice rang out, “Destroyers, welcome to Grand Zeno’s palace. This way if you please.”

He noticed that no invitation was extended to the angels specifically, but was comforted when he felt Whis’s hand at his back, urging him forward. The walk to the throne room seemed longer this time, as if he was walking to a death sentence rather than a new life like last time.

Following the kais and other destroyers, Beerus kneeled before Grand Zeno.

 “Hello,” Grand Zeno said, his voice still as childish as Beerus remembered it, despite several centuries passing since he last heard it. “I’ve been thinking about you all recently, and I decided that there were a lot of you. Mmm…lots and lots. So I decided to get rid of some.”

A chill ran through the gods as many of them understood the weight of what Zeno had said.

The Grand Priest stepped forward now, a piece of paper in his hands. “Following the erasure of Universes 4 and 15, 5 and 14, and 9 and 10, you will be assigned new numbers.”

Zeno clapped. “Yes! The new numbers will add up to 13! That’s a much better number, right?”

The way the Grand Priest turned and smiled at Zeno rubbed Beerus the wrong way.

 “Erasure…?” someone said. “They’re gone?”

Beerus strained to see who it was – a destroyer further down the line on his left.

 “Yep! That’s what erasing is!” Zeno was swinging his legs on his throne.

 “Why? What did they do to deserve that?”

Zeno cocked his head. “You need to stop asking questions. I wanted them gone, so they went.”

 “That’s…unfair!”

The slight frown on the omni-king’s face drove fear into them all, and Beerus wished his guy would shut up soon. Couldn’t he tell now was not the time to ask questions to Zeno? Yes, he had once been the one standing up to Zeno like this, but now he realised he’d been given a free-pass because he was new to the job. The fact is that Zeno had just erased not one, but six universes. And he’d sat there smiling about it.

 “I don’t like you.”

In an instant all that was left of the destroyer was dust, his angel sighing at the turn of events, his kai slumping against the floor as the life left her body. He was sure he would be able to hear the frantic heart beats of everyone else if his own was not so loud in his ears.

 “Universe 6 will need a new destroyer,” he said as if he hadn’t just killed a man in front of them all.

 “Actually, sire, Universe 6 is now Universe 4,” the Grand Priest corrected him. “And now, to continue, here are your new assigned numbers. Universe 1, remaining as it is, is now paired with Universe 12, formerly Universe 18…” The list went on, until they got to the final pair. “Universe 6, formerly Universe 8, is now paired with Universe 7, formerly Universe 11.” That was him and Champa now. Universes 6 and 7.

Grand Zeno didn’t have much else to say to them, apart from to behave, and then the Grand Priest dismissed them.

 “So, Meed’s gone…” As the list had been read he had realised why he hadn’t seen Meed before they’d been called inside. He hadn’t even realised when the Grand Priest had named Universe 4 as one of the erased. Their secret club was no longer what it had been. Champa was no longer a multiple of 4, and neither was Rumush. And the new Universe 4? Currently godless thanks to Zeno.

His kai took him home and he slumped into a chair, feeling a little lost, but also a little relieved. He found the Supreme Kai sitting next to him.

 “You alright?” Beerus asked, remembering how excited the kai had been to visit Zeno.

 “What do I tell the others?”

 “That we’re Universe 7 now,” Beerus said. “Look, I don’t know what ideas you guys had about Zeno, but what you saw today is exactly how he is. A ruthless god in a toddler’s body doing whatever the fuck he pleases. We’re lucky. I don’t know what Meed did to piss him off, but boy would I be glad to never cross paths with him again.”

 “We surely will have to come face to face with Grand Zeno again,” the kai said.

 “Well, just don’t go looking for him. You saw the way he took out Universe, uh…”

 “Universe 4,” the kai said. “I know. It could have been us. Thank you for not speaking your mind at any point today.”

Beerus couldn’t get the image of the kai slumped on the floor out of his mind, and the angel who stood by the pile of dust as they all left. Is that essentially what Whis had been through with previous destroyers? And yet, the angel had just sighed, as if it was just a minor inconvenience.

The kai stood up and patted Beerus’s shoulder. “I should get going. The others will be eagerly awaiting my return. Hopefully we won’t bump into each other before the next coordination meeting - that’s not to say that you can’t pop in for tea any time.”

 “Yeah, thanks.”

As if on cue, Whis came in with plates of food. It occurred to Beerus that he hadn’t had breakfast – not that food had once crossed his mind since he was suddenly woken this morning. He picked at what was offered to him, while Whis munched through his.

 “Aren’t you hungry, my lord?”

 “Whis, I’ve just been told that Zeno erased not one, but six universes. Then he killed two people in front of us. I can’t say I’ve got much of an appetite at the moment.”

Whis nodded in what appeared to be an understanding manner.

 “Don’t you feel anything? It could have been us! Did all six of them manage to piss him off at once? How did he decide? It sounded like he chose at random.” Beerus got up. “And the angel just _sighed_ when the destroyer was erased!” Would Whis do the same if it had been him? He walked out of the room, not sure he wanted to hear Whis’s opinion on today’s events just yet.

He face-planted into the sofa, his thoughts a mess. How long was he going to survive in this job? He’d far out-lived his natural life span, but he still didn’t want to die yet. This new life was amazing and he was only just beginning to live it as intended. And Meed… When did he start thinking of him as a friend? Or at least he’d thought there was potential for a friend who could live as long as him.

As much as he loved this new life, it could be a little lonely. He’d realised at some point he really craved someone like Meed in his life – someone who wasn’t related to his universe and hence his job. He’d seen Meed as someone who just so happened to share a job title, but certainly wasn’t going to meddle in his affairs. He’d even thought about taking Meed to some of his favourite places just for _fun_ , and imagined that maybe Meed would do the same for him.

He felt a weight on the sofa, but he didn’t move from his position.

 “My lord, please don’t mope about today,” Whis said, unsure if placing a reassuring hand on Beerus’s back would calm or enrage him. “We angels have been subject to Grand Zeno’s whims far longer than you can imagine, so at this point we can only accept what happens. Most of us are quite numb to whatever he chooses to do.” He decided to place his hand on Beerus’s shoulder, hoping that not having direct skin contact would keep Beerus calmer. The destroyer didn’t move, but Whis felt him tense slightly. “I don’t know why those universes were chosen for erasure, but that’s the way life is. Sometimes you lose things unexpectedly. I know you’re angry, but please remember that your life was given to you by Grand Zeno – and I mean that in both senses. Not only did he decide to create your universe in the first place, allowing you to be born, but he also elevated you to godhood and gave you this extended life.”

 “So he can just take it away when he pleases?” Beerus mumbled into the sofa.

 “Yes. Perhaps it was never explicitly stated, but when you took the job you agreed to obey Grand Zeno’s every order.”

It needn’t be said; it was painfully obvious that was expected of him. “Tell me, Whis.” Beerus sat up. “Why were _you_ worried this morning?”

 “Oh? Did I appear that way? My apologies, I do try to keep my emotions in check.”

 “ _Whis_. That’s dodging the question.”

The angel looked away. “Today is not the first time I’ve seen Grand Zeno kill someone for their rudeness. I was worried for _you_.”

 “What happened to being numb to it all?”

 “I would like to think I am, but I know I’d be deeply sadden to lose you so soon.” Whis finally looked back at him. “You’re fast becoming my favourite destroyer so far.”

That admission caught Beerus off-guard, and he knew the surprise showed in his face. “Er…thanks?”

There was a moment of silence and Beerus noticed the way Whis grabbed hold of his robe, bunching the fabric in his hands before leaning in and pulling Beerus into an embrace. Beerus didn’t know how to respond, or what it meant. He wasn’t used to Whis being like this and it kind of freaked him out a bit. He was suddenly wishing Whis had told him to get over it and get ready for a day of training.

 “Sorry,” Whis said when he pulled back and saw Beerus’s bewildered face. “I’ll just…” For once he didn’t know what to do, wanting nothing more than to get away from the awkwardness he’d created.

Beerus had his back though. “I’m taking another bath. Couldn’t stop sweating in the presence of Zeno.”

 “I see. Do you require anything?” Whis was glad to return to attendant-mode.

 “No, but maybe you’d like to join me? Seems you could use a little refreshing too.” For once _Whis_ seemed uncomfortable? He was going to take full advantage of that.

 “Oh, no, I –“

 “You’re coming.” Beerus hooked an arm around Whis’s and pulled him along. “That’s my request.”

The water had reached the perfect temperature in their absence; Whis having left it warming in the rush of the morning. Beerus rinsed himself under the waterfall before settling in the main tub for a soak.

 “Why did you invite me, my lord?” Whis asked.

 “It’s just as I said – you need refreshing.”

 “I’m sorry for hugging you.”

 “You don’t have to apologise – it was cute.” Despite the awkwardness of the moment, he’d decided very soon after, during their walk to the bathroom, that he quite liked the gesture. It had been so unlike Whis, and yet it showed something about him that Beerus had not yet discovered.

 “You really don’t have to embarrass me any further.”

So he really did have the upper hand? No threat to punish him with training or withdraw snacks? “That’s not my aim. I do –“ He stopped suddenly, realising what he was about to say could turn the tables. “I thought it would be good for you. You know, take off the uniform and stop being an attendant for five minutes.” It was true that he felt like he could be a bit more open with Whis right now in this bath.

 “I’m never not your attendant, my lord.”

 “Yeah, well this isn’t like when we’re out and about. There’s no one here to see you now.”

 “What do you want from me?”

 “Jeez, Whis, I just want you to relax a bit.” _Ah, fuck it_ , he was going to say it. “I _do_ care about you, you know.”

Whis smiled and Beerus had a feeling that he’d been played into saying that. “I truly appreciate that, Lord Beerus. Not every angel is lucky to hear that.”

He wasn’t going to wait to be cornered into saying more rubbish, so he got out of the water. “I’m going to finish my breakfast.” He put a hand out, motioning for Whis to stay put. “Take your time. Maybe we can go to one of our favourite spots and forget about this morning.”

 “That sounds good.”


	10. I Burn

 “Well, this is nice, isn’t it?” Whis said as he surveyed the fields of flowers and far-off trees.

 “Yeah…” Beerus looked around, looking for something off about the place. “I wonder why they’d list it for destruction? Things are growing after all.”

 “My lord, let me tell you about the privileges given to Supreme Kais. They have access to an item known as a time ring.” Whis gave a brief explanation. “It’s possible that they have used this ring to see a future where this planet poses more problems than it’s worth.”

 “Well, let’s see if we can taste the –“ Beerus paused, feeling a sensation he’d almost forgotten, waiting for the motion to pass. “The food.” Before he could take a step he let out a sneeze. “How many centuries has it been since I sneezed?”

 “I don’t recall.”

Another sneeze followed and Beerus looked concerned. “Whis…do gods get sick?”

 “I…” He thought about it. “I don’t think so.” He’d never had an instance in all his years. “Are you feeling unwell?”

 “I don’t know. My eyes are stinging and I feel like I need to sneeze again. Am I sick?”

Whis waved his staff over Beerus and peered into it, gaining the information he needed.

 “What’s the verdict, doctor Whis?” Beerus joked.

Knowing it was nothing serious, Whis decided to have some fun. “My lord… You might have god-flu.”

Beerus’s eyes widened. “God-flu?! What’s that? A special flu only gods get?”

 “I heard a Supreme Kai died from it once. I didn’t think Gods of Destruction could get it.”

 “What?!” Beerus grabbed Whis’s arms. “What am I going to do?” Another sneeze. “Help me, Whis! I’m getting sicker!”

 “Don’t worry, angels having healing powers. So much so that we can even bring the dead back to life!” At least this was a fun way to tell Beerus more about his abilities.

 “Well, do something quick!”

Whis tapped Beerus on the head with his staff. “All done!”

Beerus didn’t feel any different, but his trust in Whis was absolute. Until he sneezed again. “Whis! It didn’t work!”

 “I’ll have to use something stronger.” He placed a finger on the tip of Beerus’s nose. “Is this where you’re the most pained?”

 “Well duh!”

Whis leaned in a placed a kiss on the very tip of his nose. “A mother’s kiss is the strongest magic in healing a child, you know.”

Beerus never believed that. And he certainly wouldn’t when the next sneeze came along as they walked through the field.

 “I can’t believe I’m going to die from the flu,” Beerus lamented.

 “I’m sure you’ll live, my lord.”

 “Whis, let’s just destroy this planet and go home.”

He was powerful enough now to do it in one blast. It still took a lot of effort, and he’d certainly spend all of tomorrow sleeping because of it.

 “Are you feeling better?” Whis asked as they landed back home.

 “Maybe. Are there other symptoms of god-flu? I think the sneezing has stopped now.”

It had been a good run, and Whis had thoroughly enjoyed watching Beerus worry about his health, but it was time to come clean. “No. You’re fine, my lord. I couldn’t help but wind you up earlier.”

 “Huh?”

 “There’s no such thing as god-flu.”

Beerus was about to get angry. “But what was all the sneezing about then?!”

 “It appears that we were in the presence of a very potent pollen-producing plant. You reacted to it was all. And once you destroyed the planet and had ridden home you were no longer affected by it.”

 “Why weren’t _you_ sneezing then?”

Whis shrugged. “Angel immunity, I guess. You see, gods won’t get sick from things that kill mortals, but you can still be affected by physiological things – too much pollen in your airways causing you to sneeze, or coughing because you choked on some water. I’m sure you could even over-eat to the point of vomiting. Well maybe not _you_ , you seem to be able to eat as much as you like without limit.”

 “So, you lied to me?”

 “You have to have some fun. And trust me, it was very fun to watch.”

 “You!!” Beerus pointed at Whis, unsure what he wanted to say. “I’ll get you back for this! Now bring me some food to make up for the lack of it on today’s adventure.”

Whis bowed and left the room. He looked forward to whatever prank Beerus would play on him.

 

**Ooo**

 

 “Whis, can I just blow up a planet I don’t like?” Beerus asked.

 “I suppose you _could_. Just know you might have to justify it to the Supreme Kais if it was something they were working on.” Whis took out the biscuits they’d acquired today. “Did planet Suna not please you?”

 “Not really.” He rolled his shoulders. “ _You_ might have enjoyed their massage technique, but I didn’t.”

Whis slipped a hand beneath the regalia around Beerus’s neck, pressing the tips of his fingers into the muscle. “Would you like me to fix that for you?”

Beerus removed Whis’s hand. “No.”

Whis was taken aback by Beerus’s short answer. “Perhaps you’d prefer to go to a tried and tested –“

 “No. I’m… I’m gonna take a nap. Wake me in a few hours.”

 “My lord, is everything okay?” He couldn’t believe that a sub-par massage could put Beerus in such a bad mood.

 “Yeah,” he lied. “I just want to be alone.”

 “Ah, I see.”

Beerus knew what Whis was thinking, but that wasn’t why he wanted to be alone. Still, maybe he would rub one out before a nap – it always made him sleep better. _If_ he could get his thoughts in order before Whis came to fetch him.

He kicked off his shoes and threw off his regalia. He kept his gold on though, having become accustomed to the weight of it, feeling ungrounded without it. Once he’d pounded his pillow into shape he laid back and stared up at the ceiling and gave a long sigh.

 _Whis…_ Beerus pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. _Why?_ What _was_ that all about earlier? God he didn’t want to think about it, but he had to. There had been one too many instances now.

Like that time a friendly shop owner had put his arm around Whis’s shoulder, and he had reached up and silently removed that arm. The time they’d visited the touchy-feely planet where the waitress had kissed them both goodbye and he’d felt something he hadn’t been able to explain at the time. And then today. When they were in the massage parlour and Whis was moaning in the way he only did when he tasted something particularly delicious. That’s when he realised what it was.

Jealousy. _He_ wanted to be the one making Whis elicit those noises. _He_ wanted to be the one casually touching Whis in public. But why should he be jealous? He had Whis to himself most days, and it’s not like Whis didn’t let him fall asleep in his lap sometimes. What if he offered to massage Whis for once? To give instead of receive? Would that solve his strange jealousy? Could it be that he was simple feeling _bad_ that he wasn’t being as generous as he could be?

Yes, a good plan! He rolled onto his side, about to fall off the bed, but he stopped himself. _Not today_. Maybe in a few days. What else could he do? Whis was not a very needy person after all. Perhaps it didn’t have to be physical. It could be something like helping in the kitchen. Something that would make Whis smile when he offered.

Beerus began making a mental list of things, mumbling things to himself as he did so. His heart skipped a beat when he heard the doors to his room open and he scrambled to sit up, as if he had something to hide.

 “Sorry, did I interrupt?” Whis asked, already moving back outside.

 “No, no. I’m coming.”

 “Didn’t you sleep?” The sound of the door wouldn’t be enough to rouse Beerus if he had been.

Beerus shrugged. “Turns out I wasn’t tired.”

Whis raised a brow, never knowing his lord to skip a nap like this. “I never asked if you wanted dinner in or out.”

It was as if the opportunity was being handed to him on a plate, but Beerus decided it would be even more suspicious to offer help with dinner tonight. “Let’s go out.”

 

**Ooo**

 “Who the fuck is that?” Beerus held up a hand for Whis to stop sparring with him.

 “I’m impressed you noticed,” Whis said. “Although I don’t know if I should be concerned that you’re not concentrating on your training.”

 “You should be happy that I can notice disturbances in ki on this planet.” He looked around to the direction he felt it coming from. “Maybe you should be impressed if I can sense angel ki from so far away.”

 “I didn’t think you’d even mastered sensing _mine_.” Whis looked over.

As the angel came closer Beerus realised he recognised him. This was the one who had sighed when his destroyer had been erased. But he was also memorable for his strong jawline and cheekbones you could cut yourself on.

 “A pleasure to see you, brother,” Whis said, “And your new destroyer.” He bowed and it took Beerus a moment to realise to whom he did so.

Following Whis’s line of sight, Beerus realised that the angel wasn’t alone, and that there was a short mouse man, about half the angel’s height, standing next to him. “Did you invite them?” Beerus asked, looking up at Whis with a frown.

 “Of course not. I wasn’t aware my brother was allowing Universe 4’s new destroyer to visit others yet.”

Cognac gave a strained smile. “My apologies, Lord Beerus, but Lord Quitela has insisted on visiting each universe’s destroyer.”

 “Uh huh, seems like a trait Universe 4 has.” Maybe this Quitela guy could replace Meed. “But like I said to the previous destroyer, _call ahead first_.” Of course, Cognac wasn’t the angel present to hear those words.

 “Come on, Beerus,” Quitela piped up. “Isn’t it more fun to have unexpected visitors?”

 “No. I could have been sleeping. Or eating. I was eating the first time your predecessor visited. And I _don’t_ share.”

 “Jeez, who stepped on your tail today? Your brother wasn’t nearly this cranky.”

 “He always was the nice one.”

 “Even invited me in for coffee.”

Beerus realised that he hadn’t known Champa was into coffee now. How long had it been since they’d visited each other? “Just because we’re twins, doesn’t mean I’m going to do the same.”

 “Twins?!” Quitela did a double-take. “You don’t look it.”

 “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Quitela went to pat Beerus’s arm, but Beerus caught his wrist with surprising speed. “I just meant that you’re quite trim, and your twin not so much. Muscles are hiding under all that weight he’s carrying.”

 “Are you calling my brother fat?”

 “I’m just saying that stash of sweets of his could use a little more sharing.”

Beerus unhanded Quitela. “Well you’ve met me now. Call ahead next time.”

 “Come, Cognac,” Quitela said, realising he’d been dismissed. “Universe 8 awaits.”

Beerus watched as they disappeared in a flash of light, unsure of how he felt about Quitela. He certainly had spunk, but Beerus didn’t know if he _liked_ that.

 “My, my, you won’t make any friends that way,” Whis said. “It was just a _bit_ too hostile for a first meeting.”

 “You said to put on an intimidating front when it came to other destroyers.”

Whis nodded. “Yes, but you didn’t need to grab him like that.”

 “Whatever. Let’s resume where we left off.”


	11. The Trapezius

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to learn some muscles for this chapter. My knowledge comes straight from Google, so I apologise for any inaccuracies.

Whis sat in his chair, absorbed in a book. Beerus was lying on the sofa, book in hand, but not absorbing a single word. Still, he turned a page occasionally to keep up the illusion he was reading. Instead his mind wandered as he planned how he was going to offer Whis a massage. Any minute now he hoped. First he had to pick the perfect order of words and rehearse it ten times in his head.

Should he come right out with it? Keep it casual? Or maybe walk over and make it a wordless offer? What if he was absolutely rubbish at it? What if Whis hated it? He liked to think he knew how to massage someone, having received many over the centuries, but what if theory wasn’t enough?

Should he go and practice on someone else first? Go to planet Sarkay, pay for someone to spend time with him, get them to teach him. That was the only way he’d manage to do this behind Whis’s back.

 _Or ask Whis._ He almost scoffed aloud at his own thought. _Ridiculous!_ And yet… It made sense to ask the one who was clearly the best. _Oh my god._ No, it _was_ a perfect idea. He asks Whis to teach him – not even mentioning _why_. And then he gives Whis a massage to ‘make sure he’s doing it right.’ Then it looks like that wasn’t his intention all along.

 _But I want Whis to know I want to do this for him?_ And yet he didn’t. Not right now. Maybe it could be a big reveal? _No, no, that’s too much_. But he _would_ tell him the truth eventually. When he was ready.

 “My lord?”

Beerus whispered a profanity as he realised he’d lowered the book to cover his face while he got lost in his thoughts. “Yes?”

 “Would you prefer to get into bed?”

 “No. I…” He sat up and stretched. “Was wondering if you’d teach me how to give a massage.”

 “Oh? Of course.”

It was just that easy. And mostly according to plan. Everything was a bit more clinical than Beerus had anticipated; Whis took the job of educating very seriously. He would point out places on Beerus’s body, giving the anatomical name, pressing down to demonstrate what should be felt – and what shouldn’t be! – and then, to make sure Beerus knew, he would make the destroyer locate the same place on Whis’s body.

It was a lot of information to take in, but he was glad that Whis was thorough. “What’s your favourite place to be massaged?” Beerus asked as they neared the end; Whis was testing him now.

 “The trapezius.”

Beerus ran his hand down the back of Whis’s neck, out to his shoulders, and then back down between his shoulder blades.

 “Well done, my lord. Perfectly located.”

 “I feel like that would be most people’s answer. There’s a lot of it.”

 “Well, to be specific, the base of the trapezius, right between my shoulder blades, is my favourite area. Did you want to share the proper name for your favourite place?”

He couldn’t lie, because Whis knew exactly where that was. “Lat…” Why did it have to be the most difficult one? “Latimus dorsi?”

Whis smiled. “Lat _issi_ mus dorsi, yes. I’ll test you again to make sure you remember.”

 “Thanks, Whis. I appreciate it.”

 “Is there a reason you wanted to learn?” Whis asked. “Perhaps for _someone_?”

Beerus felt his face heat up as Whis gave him a sly smile. “N-no! Maybe! It’s none of your business.” Except it was entirely Whis’s business. He’d panicked at the opportunity to tell the truth.

 “My, my. You know, I thought you’d wanted to learn so you could teach those masseurs on planet Suna how to do it properly, but clearly not.”

Beerus wanted to die. If only he’d played it cool… “You’ll find out eventually, so just don’t worry about it.”

Whis laughed behind his hand. “But if I’ll find out anyway, you may as well just tell me now!”

 “Nope!” Beerus was already scrambling for the door, deciding to go and hide elsewhere in his castle.

 

**Ooo**

 

Although he had envisaged himself straddling Whis’s hips when he delivered the massage, he couldn’t quite find the courage to ask to do so when it came to it. Whis had prepared an actual massage table, just like the ones they’d visited in the parlour.

 “Well, show me what you’ve learnt,” Whis said once he’d removed his robe and got comfortable.

Beerus delicately traced the skin, starting at the neck. “The trapezius – your favourite part.” His hands moved outwards to his shoulders. “The deltoids. Then the infraspinatus, and teres minor and major.” He’d practiced saying these aloud so he wouldn’t mess it up, knowing Whis would be impressed if he could pronounce them all correctly. His hands spread wide, caressing the back of his ribs. “The latissimus dorsi.” That one he’d paid special attention to. Now he took hold of his sides, just above the hips. “The obliques. And finally…” He draw shapes around the muscles at the top of Whis’s buttcocks. “The gluteus medius, minimus, and…” He couldn’t help but caress Whis through the fabric of his trousers. “The gluteus maximus.”

 “Oh? You did some extra reading?”

 “I wanted to impress.”

 “Well I am. I didn’t expect you to remember half the muscle names, let alone throw in a few extra.”

 “Do you really have so little faith in me?” Beerus asked, only slightly offended.

 “No, but I didn’t expect you to have paid attention to the names in the first place. I thought your interest was purely in how to tend to the muscles rather than what they’re called.”

 “But you said –“

 “That I would test you, yes. But this was before you revealed this was _not_ to show the masseuse up. Although, now you do know the names, I think that will be good for when we discuss how you can improve your physique during training. Now, how about you _show_ me what you’ve learned? I can see you have the theory, but how about the practice?”

Beerus began to caress the muscles as Whis had shown him, starting at the shoulders.

 “Oh, and one more thing,” Whis said. “Are you intending to massage my ass?”

 “No. Unless you wanted me to?” It had taken enough courage to even touch Whis there as he’d named the muscles! How could he think he could do any more than that?

 “No, no, I was just checking.”

They lapsed into silence while Beerus concentrated on his ministrations and Whis started a list of things to critique about his technique.

 “Are you nervous, my lord?”

Of course he was! He wanted to do his best to please Whis! “What gives it away?”

 “The lack of confidence in your touch. Don’t be afraid to push a little harder.”

Beerus did as requested, trying not to let his mind wander as he did so. A few thoughts had passed through his mind in the past few minutes and he really needed to not focus on them at this moment. They would only distract him.

He saved the trapezius muscle until last, taking extra care with how he pressed his thumbs between the shoulder blades. For the first time since he started, there came a pleasured sigh from Whis. Beerus wanted to yell about this small success! He’d made Whis feel good! Nothing like the professionals, but this was his first try after all. If he could improve his technique, maybe he would be further rewarded.

 “That’s enough, my lord.” Whis sat up and stretched, ready to deliver his list of improvements. It started out rather bad, but Whis said that his mid-massage tip had greatly improved the experience. “…And then at the end you seemed to go in a bit too hard.”

Beerus looked embarrassed as he realised Whis had noticed his game. “Sorry.”

 “No, no, it’s good in a way. It showed that you were growing in confidence. Really, I think that all you need is a bit more practice. I would advise that you find a few others to test it out on as we’re not all shaped the same way, and certainly don’t enjoy the same things. What is too light for me could be precisely right for someone else.”

Again, here was an opportunity to just let it slip that he was trying to please Whis. He let it pass again. Certainly he would be taking the advice as he didn’t want to have to build up to the perfect massage through hours of attempts on the person he wanted to please.

 “Don’t look so glum – you did well for a first attempt. Or perhaps you’re waiting for me to offer to return the favour?”

 “Yes, please,” Beerus said uncharacteristically quietly. “You are the best, you know.”

 “I know. You’ve praised me with such high compliments more than once. I think it’s simply that I’m more familiar with your body than others.” Whis ran his fingers down the underside of Beerus’s neck, the destroyer leaning into the touch. “And I’m not afraid to touch you in places others might not dare to.”

Beerus took Whis’s place on the table and requested a pillow. Resting his cheek against it, he finally let his thoughts run wild.

 _Okay, firstly why was it such a big deal to touch Whis’s ass?_ He’d touched many asses in his life, and most of the time he hadn’t thought twice about it. _I mean, it’s because it’s_ Whis _, right?_ Whis who probably wouldn’t appreciate a touch like that. _Right?_ He didn’t know though – he’d never asked. Whis seemed just fine with physical contact. The angel had never once told him something was too much, right? He racked his brains for an instance, coming up with nothing. Even when he _had_ touched his butt this evening there was no response. _But it was clinical_. When Whis had asked if Beerus was going to massage that area, was that a concerned question? Why would he ask if he wasn’t against the idea?

This was getting ridiculous. He was finding more questions than he’d begun with. It was becoming overcomplicated. _It was a big deal because it was Whis. End of story. Next._

 _Why was I so nervous?_ He couldn’t pretend he wasn’t because Whis had called him out for it. Well, he had an easy answer. _Because I was eager to please._ For some wild reason he’d truly believed he could produce the perfect massage first time. _Foolish_. But this led on to his next thought. _Why am I so obsessed with making Whis moan like one of the whores?_ The answer he told himself was: _because that is a sign I’m doing a good job._ And yet he knew there was some other reason he desired it. A reason he certainly wasn’t going to entertain while the angel had his hands all over his back - not that he wanted to entertain the reason at any other time.

 “My lord, is something wrong?” Whis asked.

 “No.”

 “Why is it taking me so long to un-tense your muscles then? And why is your tail tapping the table in a disgruntled manner?”

 “I don’t know,” he lied. He’d have to put a stop to the tail-tapping immediately.

 “I’m concerned. You didn’t like the wonderful massage on planet Suna, and now you’re not responding to my touch like you usually do. Are you sure there’s nothing wrong?” Whis began to probe him in a different way. “You’re eating as usual, training hasn’t been particularly strenuous recently… Are you sleeping well? You _did_ miss that nap the other day.”

 “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, alright. Stop fussing.” He sat up, deciding he’d had enough.

 “Is there _another_ source of tension that needs addressing?”

 “No.”

Whis narrowed his eyes, fast running out of ideas as to what had been upsetting Beerus recently. Unless of course he was lying about one or more of the things already mentioned. “You _can_ tell me what’s wrong. It’s my job to fix whatever it is after all.”

If only he could even think the thoughts that would allow him to figure out what was wrong. _Nothing is wrong_. Whatever it was would surely pass in a few days or weeks, like everything else seemed to. “Goodnight, Whis.”

Hearing the finality in Beerus’s voice, Whis could only wish him a good sleep.


	12. Sexy Whis

The brothel on planet Sarkay had long lost its appeal to Whis after the Madam’s culinary children passed away and the food was never quite the same standard again. Beerus didn’t pay much attention to the drop in quality as the entertainers were ever-changing and rarely disappointed. Whis must have thought him insatiable when he kept requesting to return there, not having found another place offering similar services. He had no one else to ask for recommendations, seeing as his only other all-seeing eyes were a band of kais who all seemed to be a bunch of prudes. He _had_ mentioned it at the last coordination meeting, and he’d been met with frowns. Something about not taking advantage of the lifeforms, blah blah. He wondered if perhaps they felt parental concern as their creators.

These days he rarely paid for any kind of sexual favour. _In fact_ , he thought, _they should be paying me instead!_ Over months he worked his way through the whole employee list, giving out massages, picking up tips, and perfecting his technique. He even had a few employees ask if he’d be choosing them so they could have an easy night that _they’d_ enjoy. But he only picked a select few to return to; the ones that helped him to improve the most. Luckily the young man who wasn’t far off Whis’s build had some very good words to share.

It was only when he felt there was nothing more to be gained that he finally put himself forward to Whis again.

 “ _Oh,_ so _that’s_ what you’ve been doing?”

Beerus frowned. “So you _did_ just think I was a horny fucker!”

Whis shrugged. “What _else_ was I to think? It’s not like you told me why you were spending hours there every weekend.”

 “Well, I wanted to surprise you!”

 “I am. I’m more surprised you managed to keep a secret from me.”

Beerus wanted to say that he knew Whis wouldn’t get involved in his affairs at the brothel, but worried that saying so would end up with Whis keeping a closer watch in future. Not that he intended to hide things within those walls again any time soon.

His hands moved almost of their own accord now, having been so well-trained to act when presented with a bare back. Now he was more communicative, asking Whis to tell him when he was applying the most enjoyable amount of pressure, and if he was lingering too long in one spot. But Whis didn’t have much to say because Beerus was _good_ now. He knew where to press harder, where to tread softer, when to move on to the next area. Whis couldn’t help but let out a few sighs to tell Beerus he was doing a fantastic job.

The destroyer smiled at his work, but he didn’t let it distract him. He had planned a half hour session and he wasn’t even half-way through yet. Now his knowledge had been extended past the back, to the legs and the arms too. He worked down each limb steadily.

He had started at Whis’s neck, at the trapezius, and now he would come full circle and finish between the shoulder blades, with the same muscle. It was his belief that you should save the best till last. Now he managed to elicit a moan from the angel. The sound was his trophy for all his hard work and it went straight to his dick.

 _WAIT WHAT?!_ _No, no, no,_ no. That wasn’t what was supposed to happen.

His fingers froze and he whispered aloud, unintentionally, “Oh god.”

Whis was still humming in pleasure as he asked, “Something wrong?”

 “Nothing. Just realised something.” He forced himself to continue, suddenly trying very hard _not_ to hear the sounds he’d been hoping for.

 “What?”

Beerus’s mind was all over the place, and he decided to focus on something he disliked. Yes! Something he’d figured out recently that he hadn’t yet told Whis! _Perfect_. “Qui-te-la,” he sounded out each syllable. “Te-qui-la.”

 “Well done, my lord,” Whis said sarcastically.

 “I hate tequila. Couldn’t stand it, remember? I’m destined to hate that little mouse man.”

 “ _That’s_ what you’ve been thinking about while massaging me?”

Beerus cursed his own stupidity. “N-no. I was thinking about what I’ve learned from the people of planet Sarkay, remembering our first pub visit there, and then it suddenly clicked into place.” He should be awarded a medal for quick thinking, especially considering half his mind was focused on trying to keep his dick in check. Finally he let his hands leave Whis’s body.

The angel turned onto his side, head propped up on one hand as he smiled at Beerus. _Fuck._ _He’s…!_ He wasn’t going to let his brain process that thought. He was _not_ going to let his brain think that word he was thinking of. _No!_

 “That was wonderful, my lord.”

 _God even his voice is laced with it._ Laced with what? _No, don’t think about it._

 “You pass with flying colours.”

Beerus was so proud of himself, but he really couldn’t enjoy the moment as planned. “Thanks.”

Whis turned to be on his back, one arm behind his head, the other draped across his stomach. “I could lay here for a long time after that.”

Beerus was doing everything he could to not look at Whis. _When did he become this sexy?!_ He inhaled sharply. _No! You’re not allowed to use that word!_ “You do that, I think I’ll take a nap myself.” He concentrated very hard on making sure he sounded natural.

 “You don’t have to do that just for me.”

 “I just concentrated more in that half hour than I’ve done all week. I need a nap.” If he said it enough it would surely be true.

Once he was out of the room he bolted up to his room, shoving his face into the blanket on his bed, letting out a muffled growl that morphed into a groan. _What the fuck was that?_ He felt betrayed by his body. It was one thing to have his mind wander into dangerous territory. It was another to have his body respond like _that_.

It was probably his fault for repressing his thoughts so much that the only way he’d actually think about them is if his body pulled some shit like that. _Well, fine._ He flipped over, resting his pillow on top of his face just in case anyone was watching. Pretending he was in darkness also seemed to help.

 _I like Whis_. Let’s start with a simple fact. He knew he liked Whis, and had done since the angel had rescued him from his life of poverty. Sure they had little tiffs, days when Beerus was sick of his bullshit, but when you lived and depended on someone like he did, that was bound to happen. But somewhere along the way he had started to like _like_ Whis? _Uh, what does that even mean?_ Recently he’d noticed how much he wanted to please Whis – by being a better student, finding out more about the likes and dislikes of the angel that cared for him, and secretly learning ways to give back physically. He’d put all these things down to just wanting to be a better friend. Because Whis was his best friend now, right? _Just a friend…?_

 “I don’t want to fuck Whis,” he said into the pillow, as if saying it aloud would make it true. The ache between his legs said otherwise.

It was probably taboo to fuck your angel, right? Why did Grand Zeno or whoever made them make them so attractive then? With such perfect complexions, such beautiful bone structure… Well, perhaps not all of them. But certainly Whis was one of the most beautiful beings he’d ever laid eyes on. When did it all go from appreciating aesthetics to wanting something _more?_

 _What do I want?_ _Do I really want more than I’ve already got?_ The last thing he wanted to do was make it awkward between them. Not when they were in this for eternity. He did _not_ want to fuck Whis. _Because Whis doesn’t like sex and I only want to do things that please him_.

 “Oh…” So _that’s_ why he’d been so fixated on the massage? It was the next best physical pleasure he could provide. _And_ it came with moans.

Beerus mentally hit himself. _That’s not what I want_. It was everything he wanted. _How against the idea_ … Lord his cheeks were burning just from the thought that had crossed his mind. _Would he mind if I…_ How would he even _ask_ that?! … _If I touched myself while I was touching him?_ He didn’t even have enough hands to do that properly! A one-handed massage seemed a bit poor.

 _Just because he doesn’t like sex, doesn’t mean he wouldn’t touch me._ That was possibly the _worst_ thought he’d had so far. Yes, let’s just ask Whis to massage between his legs too. It’s not sex, it’s just a massage. _He’s clearly not interested in anything in that area,_ Beerus scolded himself. He’d been able to ascertain that much over the years. And surely, if Whis didn’t mind offering that kind of service, he would already have mentioned it. It’s not as if the opportunities hadn’t been there.

He was reminded of that time he’d found himself turned on after a particularly good massage and he’d told Whis straight that he was going to get off. The angel hadn’t offered to help. That’s all he needed to know. _I’m pretty sure Whis doesn’t masturbate at all, so he doesn’t want to hear any of these thoughts._

 _Yes, well I can still show Whis affection in other ways._ A hug, a kiss… Whis had given him both – even if the kiss was part of a prank. Just telling him how much he enjoyed the other’s company… _And then…_

Beerus sighed and rubbed himself through his trousers. He was never going to get anywhere sensible while his dick still had one hand on the steering wheel. _Okay, but I’m_ not _going to think about Whis while I do this._ That orange rabbit girl. Short, curvy, with deliciously thick thighs. Nothing like Whis in terms of looks. The perfect kind of person to think about instead.

It was difficult to keep his mind in-line with his plan as he drew nearer to his climax. Thoughts of Whis keep popping up. _Stupid, sexy Whis._ The image of Whis post-massage was seemingly a lot more attractive than he’d first thought. Having that beneath him, Whis watching – _no! Thick rabbit lady! Grabbing hold of those thighs!_ She was always so slick and welcoming. But what else could be that warm and wet? Maybe Whis’s mouth – _NO._ God he was so bad at this. He might as well have just given in at the start and accepted he was smitten with the angel.

 _Moving on_. He balled up the blanket he’d sullied and threw it to the ground – his way of communicating to Whis that the sheets needed changing. So, did he _love_ his angel? In a romantic way? Or was his idiot brain really just that curious about fucking the one person who was on the ‘do not fuck’ list? _Well, maybe there’s more than one person on the list, but it’s metaphorical anyway._ Had he skipped the general romantic yearnings because he’d been so deep in denial?

What was he going to do? Pretend today didn’t happen? Supress all of these feelings? Tell Whis. _Tell Whis…_ _Fuck._ He forgot to do the big reveal about the massage lessons all being for Whis. _Thanks, dick_. Well, at least that would be a starting point for whatever conversation came next. Should he talk to other destroyers before that? Had Champa developed feelings for Vados? She must be like god to him. Maybe he should pay his brother a visit.

But if… What if Champa reported back to Vados, and Vados told Whis… He’d have to be subtle. _Or you can just sort this out yourself._ His next big secret plan was already forming in his mind.

 

**Ooo**

Beerus had decided to celebrate his birthday. With his brother. In Universe 6. They’d both long lost track of when their birthday was relative to the new calendar they lived by, and certainly had given up counting their exact age many years ago. While he was on Champa’s planet he paid close attention to the interactions between his brother and Vados. He had decided that mentioning anything about his own problems was not happening. His lips were sealed tight. Instead he was going to project.

 “Say, Whis,” he said as they sped through the cosmos. “Has a destroyer ever fallen in love with an angel?”

 “There have been instances,” Whis said. “Why, my lord, did you have something to tell me?”

Beerus kept his cool, but was still glad Whis couldn’t see his face. “No, I was thinking about your sister, actually.”

 “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”

 “Yeah – but I didn’t mean _me!”_ Beerus wondered if Whis could actually believe he’d choose Vados over himself. “I think Champa might be doting on her a little more than he should be. So, it’s not like…frowned upon?”

 “Not really. We never mention it to the higher ups, and not really to each other. It’s generally kept between the destroyer and the angel. We’re not all sitting here gossiping about our siblings, if that’s what you thought.”

 “Oh, uh… Well I thought you might. You guys are always chatting away when we’re not looking. I always wondered what you talked about.”

 “People, places, food. And sometimes we boast about our students. Or moan about them. Depends how things are going.”

 “Do you ever moan about me?”

Whis hummed. “Not yet.”

 “What’s the supposed to mean?”

 “When you’re older and develop some annoying habits that irk me for millennia on end, then I’ll moan about you.”

 “Tell me what those habits are and I’ll try hard not to keep them.”

 “I appreciate the sentiment. As for your brother… Vados doesn’t entertain such feelings very often. Maybe it’s best for you to break that to him early before he gets too enamoured.”

 “I see. Thanks for the advice.” He couldn’t ask if Whis took after his sister in that department. It would be too risky to ask for that information. Unless… “Maybe I can find him another angel instead.”

Whis cocked his head. “I’ve never heard of a destroyer falling for someone else’s angel. I’m sure that would cause a lot of problems… Likely ending in a death or two.”

That didn’t work out as planned. He should have taken the joking route and asked ‘maybe you can entertain him, Whis?’ Still, this was interesting information. At least he knew no one else was coming for _his_ angel.


	13. Does the Night Sky Know Everything?

 “So, did the person who you learned to massage for enjoy it?” Whis asked one afternoon as they sat by the lake, enjoying the latest creation Planet Catcholeo had to offer – chocolate that not only tasted like fruit, but was shaped like it too.

 “Very much.”

 “Oh?” Whis seemed surprised. “I’m glad to hear it.”

 “What? You sounded like you expected me to say something else.”

 “I clearly haven’t been paying enough attention, my lord,” Whis admitted. “I was sure the person you were aiming to please was on Planet Sarkay, but as our visits have dried up recently I assumed it hadn’t gone well.”

Now was the moment. He just had to bite the bullet and play it cool. “Actually, it was _you_.”

 “Me?” Beerus could have sworn he’d seen a faint blush on Whis’s cheeks. “I’m flattered, my lord.”

 “Yeah, well, I thought it’d be nice for _me_ to do something for _you_ for once.” He felt he had to justify this immediately while he had a hold on the conversation.

 “That is unexpectedly thoughtful of you – not to say I haven’t noticed you being more thoughtful recently.”

Beerus smiled, glad that Whis had taken note.

 “But, despite all the effort you put into learning, you have yet to offer me another one.”

 “You should have asked if you wanted one so badly.” He had been anticipating this, and had prepared answers in advance.

 “I was under the impression you didn’t want to. I was hoping to ask, but when you declined my last two offers to massage you I assumed you had tired of the whole thing.”

 _Ah shit_ , so Whis had noticed. Until he was sure there wouldn’t be a repeat of last time, he’d kept his distance, but luckily he had already thought ahead. “I don’t like to have too much of a good thing, you know. You offered so soon after the last one that I didn’t want to waste the offer.”

 “These things aren’t stored like some kind of credit,” Whis pointed out. “You can ask for my services any time – as you have done in the past.”

 “Well, so can you!”

Whis raised his brows. “Can I? Well that’s good to know. You see, my lord, I am the attendant, and you the master, so it is generally not for me to ask for things for myself.”

 “You’re _always_ asking to eat _this_ , try _that_ ,” Beerus pointed out.

 “I meant I do not ask for things _from_ you. When we go out and do all these things, it is not _you_ who provides them, so I feel at liberty to ask for whatever I please. I do believe this is the first thing you’ve been able to do for me that in no way benefits you.”

Beerus tried to think of an example, but was coming up short.

 “These small household things you’ve been doing to help me – like being more conscious of the mess you’re creating and working to minimise it – these things, although highly appreciated, are all for your benefit in the end. I didn’t ask you to pile the plates after dinner, but you did, and as it’s your mess I _could_ have asked you to do it. But the massage? I would never ask.”

 “But you said you wanted to ask.”

Whis looked away. “Well, yes… I was going to ask indirectly by mentioning your lessons on Sarkay or something.”

Beerus wanted to reach out and turn Whis’s face back towards him and say something – but _what?_ He clenched his fist, not yet ready for that kind of contact. “Did you want to finish up here and go somewhere a little more private?” He hadn’t meant it to sound quite like _that._

 “You don’t have to.”

 “I want to. I’m so stoked that you actually wanted me to give you another one that I’d quite like to right now.” Beerus flexed his hands. “Wouldn’t want to get rusty.”

 _Why? Why did I get carried away?_ He wondered as they flew back inside. Was this not the _one_ thing he’d been trying to avoid? Well, looks like he had to go through with it now. Perhaps he could find some earplugs or something before they started.

Fortunately a better idea came to him. _Keep him talking_. “So, Whis, why were you pining after my touch so badly?”

 “You’ve got good technique for a beginner – something I’m sure will only improve over time. In fact, it’s the prospect of you _becoming_ so talented that made me want to keep your interest.”

_Oh, Whis, if only you knew…_

 “And I’m sure your nails will feel quite nice against my skin when you dare to use them.”

Beerus gently scraped them down Whis’s back, making the angel shiver and hum. _Don’t do that again._ Excellent information, but he was trying to keep noises to a minimum here.

 “Besides, my lord, I feel like this is something that will bring us closer together.”

 “You want that?” Beerus asked. He wanted it so badly.

 “Of course I do! Are you really the universe’s strongest pair if you’re not mistaken for an old married couple?”

Beerus almost choked at the example. “ _Really?!”_

 “I think every angel hopes that that’s the relationship they achieve with their destroyer. The idea that we are equals. Of course I am your attendant, but also your teacher, and to start it was very clear who was the superior depending on what we were doing. But the ideal is for us to be equals all the time, wouldn’t you agree?”

 “Sounds…like something I’d like.”

Whis gave a pleased sigh. “I’m glad you agree. Sometimes destroyers want to keep things as they are – only ever deferring to their angel during training.”

 “I respect you more than that, Whis.”

 “That warms my heart.”

 “Whis, I…” _This_ was the moment! Everything had been set up for it! And he didn’t even have to look Whis in the eyes at this moment – could he ask for an easier ride? But he hadn’t figured out _how_ he was going to say it!

 “Yes?”

He’d left it too long! Guess it was time to stop thinking and just let it come out naturally. “I…love the idea of being an old couple with you, and…” _That’s enough._ He didn’t need to say more. That was more than enough for now. He fiddled with the gold clasp on his ear, suddenly aware he’d stopped massaging Whis a while ago now.

 “And?”

 “Nothing.”

Whis laughed as he turned to look at Beerus. “You’re such a bad liar sometimes, my lord.”

Beerus was glad he was ready for the appearance of sexy Whis, this time propped up on his elbows, nicely displaying his stomach – not as toned as one might think based on his combat skills, but perhaps eating that much _did_ affect angels after all. “I’ll finish my sentence when I’m ready.” He turned to leave, worried that Whis would coax him into finishing it today.

 “I’ll be waiting, then.”

 “Yep, you do that.” He had a sinking feeling Whis already _knew_.

 

**Ooo**

 

His planet didn’t have seasons – something he’d discussed with Whis. They’d settled on a mild temperature that was comfortable for Beerus and his shirtless-ness during the day, but it still got quite chilly at night. Whis had offered to remove the day-night cycle, but Beerus liked the change in light; it kept him grounded. Now he sat, huddled in a blanket, at the very top of his castle, the top of the tree, where there was a viewing platform. He could see all the corners of his planet, and the smaller planets that orbited his own. He’d never asked where they’d come from or why they were here, but he liked them as decorations – something to make the skyline interesting to gaze at.

 “I wondered where you’d got to,” Whis said as his head popped up from the stairs. “I made us hot chocolate.”

Beerus gratefully accepted the warm mug. “Thanks.”

 “What brings you here? I thought you’d be heading off to bed.”

 “Star-gazing.” He strained his neck skyward. “You like it, right?”

 “I do. I often spend time here while you sleep.” Whis sat down on the floor next to Beerus. “Do you know any of the constellations?”

Beerus unwrapped himself from the blanket a little and awkwardly tried to hook it over Whis’s shoulder, wishing that his robe wasn’t so stiff.”

 “Oh, you don’t have to, my lord, I’m quite at ease with this temperature.”

 “Accept the blanket, Whis.”

The angel pulled at the front of his outer robe and it came off, disappearing in the process, then he edged closer to Beerus, pulling the blanket around him.

 “No, I don’t know the constellations,” Beerus said.

Whis pointed up at the sky – Beerus wasn’t sure where he was supposed to be looking exactly. “Those six stars are the Tavros constellation, representing a bull.”

 “Uh, _which_ six?”

Whis took time to point out exactly where Beerus should be looking to get his bearings.

 “Yeah, okay, _that’s_ supposed to be a bull?”

 “ _Representative_. Of course the stars aren’t going to be drawing fantastic pictures in the sky.”

The god of all the universes was a toddler. Why shouldn’t he believe the stars can paint masterpieces? Whis took his hand and laid his palm out flat, drawing what he was supposed to be gaining from the stars. Whatever he was supposed to gain was completely lost on him as he focused entirely on the feel of Whis’s fingertips and how his hand felt all tingly now.

 “You see?” Whis asked.

Beerus nodded, pretending he’d paid attention to the symbol drawn. Whis continued on, naming another constellation and locating it for him. His mind was busy thinking about the fact that Whis was really close right now. Close enough to draw comfortably on his palm…actually, that was Whis’s knee he could feel through the blanket too. It wouldn’t take much at all…

 “My lord?”

 “Huh?”

Whis looked amused. “I know, it’s easy to get lost among the stars. I asked if any had particularly caught your eye.”

 “Not particularly.” He just liked the array as a whole, something about looking up at the night sky reminded him of home, perhaps because it looked so similar. The peachy tones of the daytime sky was so different to what he’d grown up with. He stole a glance at Whis, but quickly did a double-take as he realised his halo was faintly glowing. How had he never noticed that before? Did it have to be really dark? Or did you have to be really close? “Do you have a favourite?”

 “I’m glad you asked!” Whis beamed as he looked up again, able to locate it in an instant. “Cankri! It looks like a crab!” Once more he pointed it out, and drew it with enthusiasm. “See, these are meant to be the pincers!”

Even if he understood nothing from tonight, he was at least glad to see that Whis was having fun. It was undeniably cute how excited Whis was about this crab constellation.

 “You look underwhelmed,” Whis said. “Were you expecting me to pick something more sophisticated?”

 “No, of course not. A fun animal and something you can eat? It’s the perfect choice for you. I was just…thinking how cute you were when you talked about it.” He was going to try hard to remember this information.

The comment caught Whis off-guard and Beerus could see him flush in the dim light of his halo and the stars above them. “Sorry, I got carried away.”

 “Don’t be sorry, I liked it – seeing another side of you.” Somehow the darkness was giving him confidence to say these things. “How can we pretend to be an old couple if I don’t even know your favourite constellation?” His body was ahead of him as he felt his tail wrap around Whis’s waist and pull him closer. “I could listen to you all ni- uh, until I fall asleep, let’s be real.” All night was _not_ going to happen no matter how much he liked Whis. He leant his head against Whis’s shoulder. “Are there any food shaped constellations? That aren’t just animals.”

 “Not that I know of in this universe, but we can make some up.”

Beerus looked up. “Where’s that square? That can be the bread constellation.”

 “Maybe that curved group can be a deep-fried prawn.”

 “Or a banana.”

 “Oh yes, that fits the shape better.”

Beerus closed his eyes as he let himself lean into Whis. This was nice. He wanted to do this every night, if only they would never tire of it. He tried to supress a yawn, but Whis noticed, slipping a hand up to massage the back of his head.

 “Is it bedtime, my lord?”

He downed the last of his now mildly warm hot chocolate. “I think so. I’d fall asleep on you, but I think it’s a bit too cold for that.” He untangled himself from the blanket, feeling the cool air washing over him. Carefully he wrapped Whis in the blankets and bent down to kiss his forehead before saying goodnight.

Once inside and warm again he let out a groan as he trudged to his room. He’d been so close! All he had to do was lean down _a bit_ further and kiss Whis like he _meant_ to. But he couldn’t do it. In reality he’d been planning to lean in _way_ before that, under the cover of darkness. But this was progress! It was better than nothing!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry, but I’m a filthy Homestuck. But you already knew that if you recognised those constellation names as trolls.


	14. Tree Sap

 “The coordination meeting’s coming up soon,” Whis said.

 “ _What?!”_ Had it been that long?

 “Well, you still have just shy of two centuries, but a few things you still need to finish off before you report back to the Supreme Kais.”

 “More than enough time.” He thought Whis had meant within the month.

 “Well, with the ever increasing length of some of your naps, I thought it best to give you a little more warning.”

His year-long naps had become a great source of procrastination, but he _had_ been hoping that he’d wake up feeling _differently_ about some things. Unfortunately when he woke up it was as if he’d only slept for a night. The only difference being that Whis often had a list of new places that had popped up during his slumber, and a more depressing list of places that had closed down.

He wondered if Whis missed him when he was asleep, and if, by being allowed to sleep for so long, he was missing quality time with the angel. And yet he felt silly asking Whis to wake him up so he could go on these trips with him.

 “So, are we working today?” Beerus asked.

 “If you want to.”

 “Yeah, come on, let’s go out destroying and then you can show me somewhere nice as a reward.”

Finishing the work the kais had left him was not his only goal between now and the next century. He _had_ to talk to Whis about his feelings. Things had spiralled since he’d realised there was more to this whole thing. Now he wanted to hug Whis, kiss Whis, tell Whis things he didn’t even want to think about because it embarrassed him. He’d always hated watching couples walk down the street hand in hand, but now _he_ wanted that! He was ashamed of himself.

But so far he hadn’t allowed himself to indulge in such things. He kept strictly to the boundaries set before he’d realised all of this, meaning the closest he usually allowed himself was to lay in Whis’s lap while they were on the sofa. And still, he paid close attention to when he did this, making sure that he always kept the instances several days apart. Whis mirrored him, much to Beerus’s annoyance. He had hoped that Whis would lead the way a little more, but it was as if they were back to square one.

Hadn’t that forehead kiss been a good enough signal? Whis had never mentioned it. And he’d never repeated the gesture. Maybe that’s where he’d gone wrong? Had Whis seen it as a mistake made because he was tired? He’d have to rectify that.

Today!

Or tomorrow! Or next week… _Ah_ , this was how he’d let years pass. Even if he’d been asleep for most of it. Destroyers had to take what they wanted, right? Destroyers weren’t timid and shy like this, right? He _had_ to speak up. And he had to do it today!

 

**Ooo**

Today’s destruction job was a more specific request: destroy the trees.

 “The life in the oceans is progressing well, but the trees are creating a toxic environment on land.”

 “But it’s safe for us?” Beerus asked, wondering if he should stop breathing.

 “Of course. Any toxins that enter your body will be metabolised and expelled – part of the gift of life from Grand Zeno.”

Beerus frowned. “Alcohol is a toxin technically, right?”

Whis nodded.

 “And yet, I still get drunk. So, will these toxins make me feel shit for a few hours or something?”

Whis picked up a fallen leaf. “Shall we find out?” He waved the leaf in Beerus’s direction.

 “No, let’s not. I want to be feeling good come dinner time. So, it’s not airborne?”

 “No, it’s a secretion. And as you can see, it’s hindering any other kind of other fauna from growing. Ocean life cannot live on the surface unless it were to suddenly adapt immunity.”

Beerus trod very carefully over the leaves. “I can’t believe I’ve been sent to destroy an army of killer tiny trees.” They only came up to his waist – not exactly what he’d call a tree. “Let’s get to work.”

Whis was busy staring up at the sky, admiring the shape of the clouds that formed here. Beerus took him by the hand, leading him towards the forest in the distance.

Over the course of the day Whis taught Beerus a few tricks to make his destruction more controlled – how to destroy one tree at a time rather than just blasting them away willy-nilly, and how to destroy just the tree without leaving evidence on the ground (apart from the dust). It was all very interesting and useful, but he’d been hoping for an easy job so he could blast through and get back to his other problems. Not that he wasn’t enjoying spending quality time with Whis like this; it just wasn’t as romantic as other things they could have been doing.

 _Romantic?_ Since when was that the word he used for this? Of course it was entirely the right one, he realised. When was the last time he’d felt _romantic?_ Maybe when he thought he’d fallen in love with the girl who lived down the street. There was nothing he particularly remembered about her, other than the fact she clearly had rich parents. They moved away from the area pretty quick and he never heard from her again. He wondered what happened to her… Of course she was dead by now. Still, he’d decided any infatuation he thought he’d had was purely due to her perceived wealth.

 “I think we should break for lunch,” Whis announced on seeing Beerus spacing out a bit more than usual.

 “You brought lunch?”

 “Did you think I’d let you starve?”

Beerus shrugged. “Didn’t think we’d still be here.”

 “Well I knew what we were in for today.” From his staff came a picnic blanket and a basket which Beerus honestly thought was too small to serve two.

When Beerus tried to peek inside his hand was slapped away; Whis wasn’t finished with this yet. There was the tap of his staff and the basket began to let off steam, the contents having been heated by the action. As soon as Whis lifted the lid Beerus knew he was in for a treat. And yes, this would be enough for two.

The plate of buns handed to him looked quite modest compared to the usual fare, but the rich roast pork and slightly sweet bread would satisfy him quicker than most foods. Neither of them spoke as they tucked in, too focused on how delicious these buns were. A cold, sweet tea was then produced, and Whis sipped slowly, as if it were hot tea.

 “We should come back here in the future and see what effects your work today has.”

 “Have you got a calendar or something? One that goes on for thousands of years?”

 “Of course.”

 “Then let’s come back in…uh… What’s a good amount of time?” He had no idea how long it took for life to progress.

 “Shall we say two thousand years? The Supreme Kais are clearly keeping an eye, so it could be one to watch. Then we can choose another date depending on how things are going.”

 “Two thousand years? Is that all?”

 “Now, now, life takes millions of years to evolve. I’m merely suggesting the Supreme Kais may have a hand in speeding things up. Besides, they made it sound as if life is more than ready to make the jump to land.”

Millions of years… Would he still be alive? If he was, how would things be different? Would he change much?

 “This is fun! I’ve never had something to look forward to so far in the future. I can’t wait.” He laughed at the strangeness of it all. “You know, when I was a mortal I would have been horrified if someone told me I had to wait ten years or something. And here I am _looking forward_ to two thousand years passing!”

 “Well, very few mortals would live long enough to see whatever’s at the end of a two thousand year wait.”

 “I bet it’ll feel like a week to you.”

 “It could do. Depends how interesting the next two millennia turn out to be.”

Beerus wrapped his arms around Whis’s waist. “Thanks for the lunch. I’ll try and make it a good two millennia for you.”

Whis raised a brow. “I could have sworn there was no alcohol in that tea…”

 “Hey! Can’t a god be grateful?”

 “Of course, it was just unexpected.” Whis decided not to point out that Beerus was only usually affectionate when he was tired, or it was dark, or they were in the comfort of their own home.

 “Anyway, what _is_ the deal with letting us get drunk?” He’d discovered that the trees here actually smelt _really_ good, so of course he’d munched on a leaf knowing he wasn’t going to die from it. There had yet to be a bad side effect from his actions.

 “It’s just Grand Zeno having some fun. What would be the point of naming you all after alcohol if you can’t get drunk?”

 “Look who’s talking, Whiskey.” Beerus had to stifle a laugh, as it sounded to him as if he was using Whis’s full name or something to that effect.

 “I think Grand Zeno was annoyed that we lacked the capability, so he purposefully left it in-tact in the mortals he turned to gods.”

 “What about the kais? How come they don’t get a funny name?”

 “Do you even _know_ the names of the current Supreme Kais?”

Beerus stopped short. “Well, duh. Grand, North, South, East, and West.”

Whis rolled his eyes. “I noticed that you never asked.”

 “Yeah, well it’s too late now, and they don’t even call each other by their real names.”

 “Well, just so you know, they aren’t named by Grand Zeno. I suppose their divinity grants them that much.”

 “But _you’re_ divine,” Beerus pointed out. “Or are you telling me Whis is your original name?”

 “I was born to serve destroyers. I had no need of a name other than the one Grand Zeno gave to me.”

 “That’s…” It sounded like a sad existence. “Whis, do you…” How did he ask such a horrible question? Did Whis hate his existence? Did he crave release from the role he was born to play? Could Beerus offer something like that by saying he no longer required an angel? Or would that just result in the higher ups killing Whis seeing as he’d served his purpose? “I’m sorry.”

 “For what?”

 “For the fact you have to be my angel.”

Whis smiled, having figured out what Beerus had been thinking. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t thought about his own existence and meaning in the past. “I enjoy it, my lord. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

 “Really? You’re not just saying that.”

 “Of course not. If I wanted to stop doing this, I very easily could.”

 “Really? Can you just resign?”

 “Oh no,” Whis laughed. “But if I wanted to stop, I could. Just one breach of the rules and I could have myself destroyed by Grand Zeno.”

 “The rules? Like what?” He had, for some reason, been under the impression that angels could do no wrong.

 “We could easily run riot with the time ring the Supreme Kais have.”

 “Oh, so you _have_ thought about it?” Beerus looked concerned.

 “I feel like there isn’t much I _haven’t_ thought about. But because I have had so much time to reflect, I am very much content with my role in the universe. I wouldn’t trade what I have for a mortal life.”

 “Would you trade it for my job?”

 “As much as I’d like to be the one waited on occasionally, I quite like the fact that I’m very much the one in control.”

Beerus took Whis’s hand and began walking towards the next patch of trees in the distance. “Maybe if you let me use the kitchen, I’ll wait on you for once. Just for fun.”

 “Remember that time you tried to make toast in a frying pan?” Whis asked.

Beerus grimaced, hoping that by now that particular incident had been forgotten.

 “Well, I’m still not letting you use the kitchen for that alone. Maybe you can just sneakily buy me something sweet that requires no cooking and I _might_ let you use a plate to present it on.”

 

**Ooo**

The day had been exhausting, but dinner had been worth it. A buffet that included dessert in the ‘all-you-can-eat’ part? He would make sure Whis wouldn’t forget about it. Now he lay with his head on Whis’s thigh as he tried to stay awake after a tough day and a heavy stomach. Above him Whis was reading, book in one hand, the other gently caressing him between the ears. How better to finish the day?

But he wasn’t finished. He still had one thing left to do. At the start of the day he had envisioned himself saying something. A little speech of sorts. But over the course of the day he hadn’t come up with any good words, and at this moment he wasn’t up for what would likely end up being a tired, drawn-out ramble. _Actions speak louder than words._ That’s what they always said, right? So obviously, there was only one action it could be. Now he just had to choose the moment.

 “Still not asleep?” Whis mused. “Usually you’d be dozing properly by now.”

He had a habit of falling asleep under Whis’s touch, and he liked that fact. He figured that if he ever were to start having trouble sleeping he knew where to go – providing the trouble was not to do with the angel himself. “How do you know I’m not dozing _properly?_ ” His eyes were closed, and his breathing regular.

 “Your ki feels different when you’re truly unconscious.”

He’d have to work on that. Not that it would be easy seeing as he couldn’t observe himself asleep.

 “Is something bothering you, my lord?”

 _Fuck it._ “Yeah, it is.” He sat up and looked at Whis, steeling himself for the moment. Then he reached up, tilting Whis’s chin, and leaned in to press his lips gently against the angel’s.

Beerus briefly caught the surprised look on Whis’s face, but he quickly turned away and made for the door in what he hoped was a composed manner.

Once in the hallway he stopped to calm his pounding heart, and to celebrate the success of going through with the plan. But now he reflected, he realised he’d panicked at the end. He _had_ meant to wait for Whis to respond and maybe say something, but he hadn’t given the angel time before making a swift exit. Did he go back now? Did he wait to see if Whis would find him? Wait until morning? Could he wait that long?

Whis wouldn’t come looking for him. The angel would have seen his exit as a cue _not_ to follow. He understood enough about Whis now to make these kinds of predictions. Besides, it’s not as if Beerus could _go_ anywhere without him.

 “Hey!” Beerus yelled as he edged back to what he now called the reading room, only to find Whis sitting there reading as if nothing had happened.

 “What’s wrong?”

Beerus pointed accusingly. “You! I just -!” Well, he _hadn’t_ bared his soul, but it sure felt like it. “Can’t you sit there staring at the ceiling or something for five minutes?” Perhaps it wasn’t the sort of thing Whis would do, but _he_ would have.

 “For what reason?” Of course he didn’t understand.

Beerus gave a frustrated growl and plonked himself back on the sofa next to Whis with a pout. “Well?”

 “’Well’ what?”

 “The…the kiss…” How was _he_ the one getting all embarrassed?

 “Ah, yes. Very sweet of you, my lord,” Whis said it as if it hadn’t taken hours of convincing to do.

It left Beerus speechless. Where did he go from here? What was his next move? Maybe he should have been more patient and tried to predict more outcomes. He’d never really thought about what would happen _after._ “That’s it?”

 “Well, I suppose I should ask why that was your response to the question ‘is something bothering you?’ Am _I_ bothering you?”

God he wished he had a cushion – why hadn’t he replaced them? – that he could scream into. Wasn’t it _obvious?_ “Yeah.”

 “You should _tell_ me, then. But your choice of a kiss rather than a punch is quite a new one, especially from a destroyer.”

 “Well, I’m telling you now!”

 “Telling me _what_ exactly?”

Beerus wished he was being quicker by not letting Whis get a word in edgeways, but he was _so_ bad at this. “I…I want to kiss your face!” Not according to plan. He shouldn’t open his mouth without rehearsing several times.

 “You’re welcome to do so.”

 “Good!” That came out a bit more aggressive than intended. “I mean, thank you.” There was a moment’s pause and he quickly decided to reach up and peck Whis’s cheek. It only seemed right.

 “Is there anything else, my lord?”

There was both so much more and yet none at all. They’d already both agreed to being an old married couple, right? What else needed to be said? No, Beerus had to make it clear what _kind_ of couple he wanted to be.

 “I like you, Whis.” He just couldn’t find the courage to commit to the other L-word. “I _like like_ you.” As if saying it twice in succession amplified the meaning.

 “And I like _you_ too.” Whis smiled. “Ever since I first laid eyes on you so many moons ago.”

Now what? What else did he say? Did Whis understand? Was he also unwilling to use more hardcore words? His thoughts were interrupted by Whis kissing his temple.

 “And I like kisses. They’re such a cute gesture!”

 “Whis…do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?” Beerus asked in all seriousness.

Whis’s expression mirrored Beerus’s and he gently traced the destroyer’s jaw. “Yes, my lord. But unfortunately I am still your attendant and teacher, so I can’t play the role of a lover every hour of every day.”

 “I know. I just…needed to say something. To tell you I didn’t want to just pretend to be the old couple. I want it to be real.”

 “You should have said something earlier.”

 “I was trying. It’s hard, you know – this feelings stuff.”

Whis put a hand on his shoulder. “I understand. You look tired, my lord. Perhaps you should sleep?”

 “Can I sleep in your lap?”

 “I think you’d benefit more from your own bed, but if you insist.”

Just for tonight he did.


	15. Lipstick Kisses

 “So, like, curve around here – there – and make another room.” Beerus was gesturing through the glass of the aquarium, trying to explain his vision to Whis.

 “You want to make the aquarium smaller?”

 “I want another room to view it from. To gain something, you have to give something up. Balance and all that, right?”

 “I was just checking,” Whis said. “I didn’t want you to get annoyed when you realised.”

 “I wouldn’t get _annoyed._ ”

Whis hummed. “Of course not. So, anything else specific about this room?”

 “Bean bags.”

 “I meant about the dimensions, doors, windows, and other specifics you might have about the room – furnishings not included.”

Beerus got his new room, and he got it filled with bean bags, just like he’d dreamed. Flopping onto the biggest one, he spent a few moments kneading the beans until he was perfectly comfortable.

 “Beans aren’t my favourite thing to eat, but that planet sure did have some better ideas about how to use them.” Beerus motioned for Whis to come closer. “ _No, closer_.” Once Whis was close enough he was able to wrap his tail around the angel’s ankle, as if to say ‘don’t go anywhere.’

 “What do you want, my lord?”

 “You.” Beerus tugged with his tail, but of course he couldn’t topple Whis that easily. “ _Come on_ , join me. You must be exhausted from all this work.”

Whis was never going to admit whether he was tired or not. Still, he sat perched on the edge of the bean bag to appease Beerus.

 “Urgh, not like _that_.” Beerus grabbed the sash at Whis’s waist and pulled him closer, and then down so they were lying face-to-face on the bean bag.

 “I forgot to ask if you wanted any lights,” Whis said, not sure if he should be whispering instead.

 “I specifically didn’t ask. The light of the aquarium is enough to see that faint blush on your cheeks.” Beerus caressed Whis there, wondering what made the angel so flushed? The fact he forgot about lights until this moment? Perhaps he, too, had been distracted by how nicely the aquarium made the room glow. But Beerus hoped that their close proximity was the real reason.

Before Whis had a chance to say anything, Beerus was closing in for a kiss. He was slow and gentle, still trying to find the best way to approach kissing the angel.

 “Did you get me to make this room just so you could have me like this?” Whis asked.

 “Maybe. I really just wanted a room full of bean bags. This was my immediate thought of what I’d do in my room of bean bags.”

 “I’m honoured.” Whis kissed the tip of Beerus’s nose.

Beerus rolled so that he was on top of the angel, hands entwining with Whis’s as he went in for more kisses. It was still so baffling to himself why he wanted this so much. He’d never been a fan of kissing until now. The few he’d stolen from Whis since the first had been teasing – a taste of what he really wanted; to lie here with the angel and be this close, and, for some reason, kiss him over and over.

Maybe he was enjoying the fact he was clearly the one in charge at the moment. It wasn’t often he got to have Whis beneath him in any sense. Even when he thought he was calling the shots, Whis was always there steering him, or halting him when necessary. But whatever this was right now? He was leading, and he believed it.

 “So, it _is_ lipstick?” Beerus mused as he ran his thumb over Whis’s lips. How many years ago had he first wondered about it and never got the answer?

 “The secret is out.”

 “I’m surprised it took this long.”

 “It’s quite enduring, but you’ve been rather persistent this evening.”

Beerus titled Whis’s chin to shed a bit more light on his face. “Looks like I’ll have to kiss you some more. Until it’s all gone.”

 “It’ll be difficult to tell; they are naturally tinted purple.”

Beerus looked confused, so Whis elaborated, “Red blood under blue skin yields –“

 “I get _that_ , but why the lipstick then?”

 “Because it looks good. Or do you disagree?”

 “Not at all. I like the way it matches your eyes.”

 “Thank you. My nails too.” Whis recovered a hand so he could press a few fingers to his bottom lip.

Beerus took the hand and inspected it. “And this?”

 “Naturally enhanced as well.”

 “Well, colour me surprised.” Beerus entwined their fingers once more. “Here I thought that you always looked perfect without doing anything, but even my dear, perfect angel has a bit of vanity about him.”

 “There’s no room for expression in my uniform, so I have to have small outlets elsewhere, otherwise the only thing I can choose for myself in my hair.”

 “Can’t you change the colour or your robe or something?”

 “There isn’t a rule, but… I guess we’ve all just silently agreed to wear a certain colour and never steal someone else’s.”

 “But as long as you’ve got the diamonds showing you belong to me, does it really matter?”

Whis arched a brow. “ _That I belong to you?_ ”

 “Sorry, I didn’t –“

 “Don’t apologise, my lord. I _do_ belong to you, as you belong to me. You’ve been ever so careful about your words since our first visit to Planet Sarkay that it was quite unlike you to say something like that.”

 “Yeah, well, things have changed.” Beerus pressed his forehead against Whis’s. “When I say you’re mine, I mean it in a different way.”

 “Yes, you have changed quite a lot, haven’t you?” Whis ran a hand down Beerus’s jaw.

 “For the better, I hope.”

 “Oh, certainly. You’re becoming the destroyer I always dreamed you’d be.”

Beerus couldn’t help but smile at the compliment. “And yet when I look in the mirror I still see the same old me. Haven’t aged a day.”

 “You haven’t changed as much as your brother has in that department, but you’ve certainly fleshed out a bit.” Whis gently squeezed a bicep. “You look like you’re taking care of yourself.”

 “ _You’re_ taking care of me.” He nuzzled into Whis’s chest. “I just want you to know that I’ll never not be grateful that you came to save us from that thing we used to call a life.”

 

**Ooo**

 

 “You’re awfully quiet this evening, my lord,” Whis noted.

 “Can’t you see I’m reading?” Beerus lowered his book. “I can’t concentrate if I’m making noise, can I?”

 “You’re not usually this captivated by a book.” Whis looked up from his own. “You’re often distracted by any number of things. Can I ask what the book’s about?”

Beerus motioned to the front cover, quickly stealing a glance at what it was. _Comprehensive Notes on the Edible and Inedible Fauna._ Great, it didn’t even say which planet it was from. Still, he read the title aloud as if he knew what the pages he’d just been staring at had said.

 “Oh? Are you planning to eat some of the things in there?” Whis asked. “Usually when you read a book on food you’re full of questions.”

 “Well, maybe I was reading the _inedible_ part and didn’t want you to berate me for trying my luck.”

 “As I’ve said before, you won’t die through poisoning, but if you were to eat that thorny-looking thing on the front I can assure you it would hurt.”

He looked at it, recoiling at the thought of it scratching the insides of his mouth and tongue. “Well, I wasn’t going to. What are _you_ reading?”

 “Just a fictional novel from our most recent outing. The bartender recommended it.”

 “What’s it about?”

 “A princess who falls in love with a commoner. It’s beginning to be quite a common trope among mortal literature.”

 “Is it any good?”

Whis shrugged. “The writing could be better. The princess is a bit dull, but I’d say the author doesn’t know how to write royalty.”

 “I’ll give it a miss then.”

Whis let out a low chuckle. “Oh no, I’d recommend it to _you_. Their relationship is almost entirely founded on physical attraction. I can see why it’s so popular back on planet Ecir – mortals just love a bit of shameless porn. Especially in a book, as reading is seen as such a skill.”

Beerus frowned. “Are you making fun of me?”

 “Not at all,” Whis said, almost automatically. “You enjoy such novels, right? Then I recommend this book to you.”

 “But you said it wasn’t very good.”

 “Well, the overall story isn’t great, but the author certainly makes up for it elsewhere. You could even read the porn scenes separately because I feel they add nothing to the story, and the story adds hardly anything to them.”

 “So far,” said Beerus, noting that Whis was about a third of the way through.

 “It’s enough for me to tell how this is going to pan out.” Whis closed the book and set it on his lap. “But now I’ve got a few more words out of you, why don’t you tell me why you’ve been pretending to read this past hour?”

 “I really get a lot of thoughts thought when I’m lying here with a book, and you’re here, and I can hear you turning the pages.”

 “Did I interrupt you?”

 “No.” Beerus sighed. “I was kinda stuck on one. Been thinking about it for a while.”

 “I’m listening.”

Beerus sat up and patted the space next to him. Whis filled it as requested, his hand soon taken in Beerus’s own. “I, uh, don’t know if I ever really asked you about all _this_.” He rubbed his thumb in circles around Whis’s palm. “I mean, you agreed and everything, but… Well, I wanted to know how _you_ feel.”

 “You’ll have to elaborate, my lord.”

 “Well, I mean…” Beerus groaned. It was finally time to say things a little more plainly and make sure they were on the same page. “You might have noticed I’m a bit…smitten with you.” So, he _still_ couldn’t say the L-word aloud?

 “Yes, it’s quite difficult not to notice.”

 “And I really enjoy being with you like this.” He shifted closer to Whis, sliding a hand around his waist while the other kept hold of Whis’s hand. “But… I don’t know… I feel like I’m the one steering the boat, so to speak. I mean, sometimes you give me a quick kiss of your own accord, but… I have to wonder, do you _like_ this?”

 “Of course I do. Do you think I’d allow you to continue if I didn’t?”

 “I don’t know – maybe? I thought you might be playing along just to please me.”

Whis chuckled. “My job doesn’t extend quite that far. I’m sure I’ve said it before, but I genuinely enjoy your company.”

 “Yeah, but…”

 “And I also told you I like kisses.”

 “ _Whis…”_ Beerus groaned and head-butted Whis’s shoulder. “You know what I’m really asking. Am I going too far for you?”

 “Not at all. I fear you’re having some doubts as a mortal would.”

 “Huh?”

 “Well, my lord, the time between your…‘confession’ shall we call it? And up until now… Well, in the grand scheme of things it hasn’t been long at all. Hardly enough time for me to reciprocate in whatever way you’re hoping I might. And besides, you’ve been quite good at making sure we’re entangled with each other as often as can be. I would say I haven’t had a chance to be the initiator.”

 “Oh…” Whis made a lot of sense. “Sorry if I’ve been a bit too much…”

 “Not at all, I’m very glad you feel comfortable enough to be so forward – and that you haven’t tired of me yet.”

 “If I was going to get bored of you it would have happened several millennia ago,” Beerus admitted.

 “Oh, but we’re still in the early days.”

 “I’m glad you’re my angel. And I think you picked me because you knew we’d get along for…forever.”

 “You can’t ever really know these things. I actually look forward to whatever little tiffs we have in the future. They’re sure to spice things up a bit.”

 “I don’t want to fight with you.” Beerus kissed Whis’s hand.

 “But we will. Maybe over something trifling like who gets the last deep fried prawn.”

Beerus wanted to say something disgustingly sweet like ‘I’ll always let you have it,’ but he knew that was a massive lie and Whis would surely make fun of him for it. In fact, it would likely mean that the next time they got down to the last of anything he’d be forced to give it to Whis, whatever he was about to say being quoted back to him at that moment.

 “But anyway, please don’t stop doting on me as you are. I’m enjoying the attention – I feel quite special at the moment.”

That was enough for Beerus. To know that his actions made Whis feel that way meant everything to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a poll on Twitter to determine if Whis wore lipstick or if they were natural and a whole 2 people responded, both in favour of lipstick, so thanks to whoever those two people were!!


	16. Water Blue

Beerus pulled off his shoes and lifted his regalia over his head. Whis cocked a brow as he began to undo his sash.

 “I’m going for a dip.” Beerus flicked his eyes towards the lake.

 “Oh? I didn’t think you were a fan of swimming,” Whis said. “You certainly didn’t seem at all interested the other day at the beach.”

 “With all those mortals frolicking about in the sea? Of course not. Besides…” He whipped off his pants. “The only swimming experience I’ve had is in our rather large bath tub.”

 “I’d hardly call it a tub.”

 “So I’ve decided to practice out here. If I ever do swim publically, I want to at least _look_ like I know what I’m doing.” Beerus took a few strides forward before looking back over his shoulder. “I could probably use a teacher…”

Whis sighed at the tea he had planned to make last another ten minutes, downing it before getting up to follow the destroyer.

Beerus put a foot into the water, immediately recoiling from how cold it was. _This_ is probably why he’d never had any inclination to swim in here before. Perhaps he should practice in the warm bath instead…

 “Changed your mind?” Whis asked.

 “N-no! I…” Beerus boldly stepped into the water. “I was just waiting for – hey! Aren’t you getting in?!” Beerus gestured at Whis’s clothes.

 “You’re not convincing me.” Whis laughed at the way Beerus tried not to shiver. “Do you need some help going neck-deep?”

 “NO!” Beerus backed into the water a bit more, afraid that Whis would lean forward and push him. “It’s polite to wait, you know, if someone was going to join you.”

Something brushed against Beerus’s leg and he shot forward, letting out a yelp he was glad no one else was there to witness.

 “My, my, was this a mistake?” Whis asked with a chuckle.

 “I forgot there’s fish in here!” Beerus muttered a few choice curses under his breath before taking the plunge and squatting down in the water. “FUCK. IT’S FUCKING COLD!”

 “Feeling better?”

 “Yes. I mean, what? Nothing was the matter. I’m not freezing my balls off here. And you can fuck off watching me like that.”

Whis was finding it hard not to laugh even more than he already was. “My lord, you _chose_ to do this.”

 “Yep! And I wished I’d chosen a time when you were not here to see it!” He began to move in the water, getting his blood flowing again. “Well, I bet you don’t even feel the cold, right? Come and teach me how to swim properly.”

 “You’ll just be mad if I get in and tell you it’s pleasantly warm.”

 “I’ve hugged you enough to know your body runs on a temperature not much below mine. You’ll certainly feel it, even if you have nerves of steel to pretend you don’t.”

Whis sighed. “If you insist. I just wish you’d chosen to do this on that nice sunny beach.”

 “I didn’t think you liked the beach. You were sitting there fully dressed, looking out of place.”

 “I enjoyed it very much. The beach had a nice atmosphere.” Whis tugged at his sash.

Beerus watched as Whis removed his clothes with care, folding them neatly in a pile on top of his shoes. Up to this point he’d been very careful to always look away when Whis approached the bath, hot spring, or whatever thing it was that caused him to be naked. He’d caught a few glimpses of that blue ass, but nothing more. All he knew was Whis surely was not hung like an ox.

And now he was finding out that actually Whis didn’t have anything like a dick at all. Thank Grand Zeno that he could use this freezing lake for the way he was staring into space – trying not to stare at Whis’s dickless groin. _Does he have something else?_ Beerus couldn’t just _ask_. But that was certainly something to chew on.

Whis was already wading out further into the lake. “Come on, then.”

Beerus snapped back to reality, having missed his opportunity to splash water at Whis as he walked by. “Fuck you, just standing there like you’re not cold.”

 “I told you this would happen.”

 “Yeah, yeah.” Beerus peered closer, hoping to see goose bumps on Whis’s arm. “Swimming, then.”

 

**Ooo**

 

Beerus stretched out on the sofa, hooking his foot around Whis’s waist and pulling him closer. Whis paid him no attention, busy looking up something on his staff. The destroyer pouted and changed position, laying his head on Whis’s lap, staring up at the angel. Whis only moved slightly to accommodate Beerus.

Realising the staff was clearly infinitely more interesting, Beerus sat up and moved into the space between Whis and the staff, staring into it. Whis had been looking up beaches.

 “You’re such a cat sometimes,” Whis said as he dematerialised his staff.

 “And you’re such an ass sometimes.” He didn’t really have a good comeback.

 “Well, what can I help you with?”

 “I’m tired. Swimming is tiring.”

 “Go to bed then.”

 “No.” It was always shocking for Beerus to refuse sleep, and Whis was by now quite aware that it meant Beerus wanted something else. He just had to figure out what that was. “Why were you looking up beaches?”

 “I figured you’d like to swim in a warm sea next time.”

 “I think I’m done with swimming. My whole body aches.”

 “Good. I think I’ll add swimming to your training regime.”

Beerus’s mouth fell open. “No!”

 “Oh yes. If you find it difficult then it means we need to work on it. Honestly, swimming isn’t that bad – you’re just not used to using your whole body in such a way. It will be excellent training.”

Beerus pressed his head against Whis’s collar. “You’re mean to me.”

 “Of course. So, what would you like to cheer you up? Something sweet to get your energy back? Perhaps a massage to sooth your poor, aching muscles?”

 “I want…you to wrap me up nice and warm and give me lots of hugs and kisses.”

 “I see. Let me go and get that blanket we got from Planet Uulu.”

 “Bring it to the fireplace room.” Beerus had left some of the previous destroyer’s original room at the base of the tree, now hidden behind the stairs that spiralled around the centre of the tree.

There was something about watching the fire that really calmed Beerus. Whis draped the fluffy blanket around him as they sat on a plush rug in front of the fire place, arms enclosing the destroyer. Beerus sighed in contentment.

 “Whis, do you have a birthday?” Recently Champa had decided to have a birthday, wanting an excuse for a party, and as such Beerus had been invited to celebrate too.

 “Yes and no.”

 “…Explain?”

 “Like everyone I was obviously born on a certain day, but my home planet is like Grand Zeno’s in that it exists outside the realms of the 12 universes. So it is more trouble than it’s worth to calculate the exact day that corresponds to my birthday in this universe as it will not be the same each year. Besides, at my age, such a day is unimportant.”

 “I see… I guess I’m starting to feel the same way. It was fun to celebrate with Champa, but we couldn’t even remember how old we were, so it wasn’t very special in that sense.”

 “How old do you think you are?”

 “I don’t feel a day over 30! Well, I’m pretty sure I was around that age when I left my home planet. But, uh… Let’s see. I remember at least five coordination meetings. Maybe it was six? So I’d guess I’m quite a few thousand years old now. But if I really will live to be millions of years old like you said, then… I don’t know how I’ll keep track. I won’t be able to count meetings so easily.”

 “You’ll eventually count with Grand Zeno’s thud gatherings.”

 “His what?”

 “Grand Zeno tends to gather everyone for some kind of fun every thud. It’s not something he plans per se, but we’ve noticed it happens about once a thud.”

 “What the hell is a ‘thud’?”

 “Oh, right, I guess we haven’t covered that unit yet.”

 “Is this like a tic or a tack?” Beerus asked; he was aware of some of the strange units of time Grand Zeno kept. Personally he was much more comfortable with this universe’s ideas of minutes, months, and millennia.

 “Yes, a thud is roughly equivalent to 10 million years.”

 “Wow…” Who’d even need a word for that? “So, are we expecting another gathering soon?”

 “No. We had one very recently.”

 “We did?” Beerus asked.

 “You were there, my lord.”

 “Oh…” Beerus couldn’t forget the mass gathering of gods and the universe-changing news. “Whis, you said it was a _fun_ gathering.”

 “Well, usually it is. One time we played musical chairs. Ah, how fun it was to watch all the gods trying to beat each other, but at the same time make sure there was a chair spare for Grand Zeno!”

Beerus could only imagine how frightening it must be to play games with Grand Zeno. What if that child lost? Wouldn’t he just destroy whoever didn’t let him win? “It sounds like this is fun for _you_.”

 “Well, yes. It’s usually quite a silly affair – until someone gets erased. Not that it happens every time.”

 “Then why were you so worried last time if you find these things ‘fun’?” The image of Whis looking genuinely worried was one he’d never forget.

 “Last time was…expected in the grand scheme of things, but also unexpected in its delivery. Grand Zeno often announces what’s going to happen a few days before to build up excitement for the event. The summons I received for our last visit explained nothing about the circumstances, and there was a very real chance that our universe had been singled out for some reason.”

There was a moment of reflection on those events before Beerus spoke again. “I don’t look forward to whatever happens in a thud’s time. Now, where are those kisses I asked for?”

 

**Ooo**

 

There was an unfamiliar sound when he woke. It sounded like rain, but it never rained _here_. The weather on his planet was the same all day, every day. His curiosity piqued, he managed to get out of bed surprisingly quickly. Just outside his room were several slit-like windows, and there it was. Water falling out of his sky.

 “What the fuck?” he muttered to himself.

Suddenly he was tempted to escape through the window and fly about in the rain, knowing that being at home would mean he could quickly warm up again. It was probably a once in a million years opportunity, so he went for it, flying up to the top of the tree for the best view.

The whole planet was covered in rain, and as he looked up he could see the clouds extended past the land boundaries. He flew once more, this time to the edge, watching as the rain just seemed to drop into the abyss of space below. What did his planet look like from afar when it rained? He didn’t have to fly far to find out. _Gravity sure is weird,_ he concluded as he watched the water flowing towards the centre point of the inverse pyramid his planet stood on.

Where was Whis? Did he know the planet’s weather system was running amuck in his absence? Hopefully he was out getting an interesting breakfast. As he flew back to shelter he noticed that the angel was right there, enjoying the rain with his eyes closed and a smile on his face.

 “Hey, Whis, what the fuck’s going on?”

Whis snapped out of it, looking slightly embarrassed. “Oh my, you’re up early.”

 “So you stand out in the rain when I’m asleep, do you?”

 “Sometimes it’s better to water the planet in a more natural way, so I do like to let it rain naturally from time to time.”

He’d seen Whis out with a watering can, tending to his special flowers in the patches Beerus liked to call the ‘front garden,’ but now thought about it, the idea of Whis going around watering the trees was rather ridiculous. “Naturally? It’s pretty unnatural if you ask me. The rain just falls off the edge.”

 “Then you have to change your idea of what’s natural for this planet. Would you like me to make it stop, my lord?”

 “No, I want to watch it from upstairs. I quite like listening to the sound. Get me some hot chocolate. I’ll be on the balcony in five.”

First he needed to get rid of his wet robe and wrap himself up in something cosy. Admittedly he stole Whis’s chair from the living room, deciding that the sofa was overkill. He sat on the balcony, warm mug in hand as he stared out at the rain. Whis had pulled up a dining table chair to join him.

 “Does it ever thunder or hail?”

 “Oh no, I don’t allow things like that. It’s unnecessary. Would you like me to let it rain naturally more often?”

 “Yeah, I would,” Beerus said. “When I was a kid it almost never rained. It’s a bit of a novelty to have it rain at home. Oh… It’s getting lighter.”

 “A small planet gets a small amount of rain. Perhaps you’d like to swim in the freshly fallen rain?”

Beerus frowned. “I know today’s a day off. We’re going to eat lots of sweets.”

 “Are we? Is that why you got up extra early?”

 “No, that was just a stroke of luck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point I’d like to take a moment to thank my figures of these boys that I keep on my desk and stare at often to help get me through this fic. u da real MVPs.


	17. Not Safe For Whis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If u thought that M rating wasn’t going to kick in, u were wrong. I feel obliged to warn you about the nsfw finally incoming after 17 chapters. Thank u for ur patience.

Things had been going so well. He hadn’t made it weird somehow – how had he managed that exactly? Memories of being in Whis’s arms and locking lips flew through his head. Those were good times.

Right now he was not having a good time. How many massages had Whis given him over the years? So, so many. So why, today, was his body being like _this?_ He’d got carried away in the moment and let himself relax too much. _Please let it go away before Whis notices._ Well, if he did notice, he’d just blame the fact he’d skipped his post-training wank the other day.

 “Are you going to fall asleep on me?” Whis asked. “I thought you promised to return the favour.”

The last thing he wanted was to get up right now. “I will. I’m just bathing in the bliss you’ve provided a little longer.”

His problem was not going away. Especially when he thought about the fact Whis would probably make noises very shortly. He’d become very good at not thinking too much about Whis’s massage moans, but the fact he was already thinking about them wasn’t a good sign. Perhaps he should just pretend he hadn’t noticed the effect the massage had had on him? Or admit it immediately and just brush it off? _Whis might not even notice_.

As he slid off the table, he bent over to touch his toes in a stretch. Nothing unusual about that. Hopefully it would buy him some time.

When he stood up, Whis was sitting there with a concerned look. “Is everything okay?”

 “Yeah?” He held Whis’s gaze as the angel narrowed his eyes. “What?”

 “I think I did a bad job today, I’m sorry.”

 “Huh? No you didn’t – it was great, as always!”

Whis shook his head in disagreement. “This ki I can feel… It’s not the usual contented ki I get from you after a massage, therefore I conclude that I missed something, or didn’t do a good enough job.”

 “It’s not your fault, Whis, it’s, uh…” There was no way he was going to let Whis think he’d failed. “You did _too_ good a job. Now let’s worry about you.”

Whis cocked a brow and gave Beerus a once-over before understanding what he’d meant. “Oh, I see. Would you prefer some time alone?”

 “No, it’s fine. I mean, unless it bothers you, then –“

 “No, I’m flattered I could elicit such a reaction. Would you perhaps like me to continue the massage?”

 “Oh no, no thank you. This is quite enough.” Did Whis want to torture him?

 “Perhaps you misunderstood me, my lord, I meant to offer relief in that area.”

Beerus blinked a couple of times as Whis’s words and their implications sunk in. He gulped, opened his mouth to respond, and quickly shut it, not sure he should let his mouth run without thorough thought first.

Whis waited patiently, a smirk playing on his lips. He reached out and grabbed Beerus by the hips, pulling him closer to the table. “Well, my lord? It’s really a yes or no question.”

The hand that ran down his chest was both very much welcome and entirely uncalled for when he was trying to _think_. Mainly his mind was yelling, _what the fuck? Whis wants – no, he’s just offering – to touch my cock?! Is this a test?_

 “I didn’t think it’d be such a difficult decision,” Whis whispered. Since when did Whis have a sexy voice? God he was being toyed with right now! “I wonder what’s going on in that brain of yours? Surely you want to say yes if you’re debating it for this long?” Whis’s hand was dangerously close now, but he swerved and let his hand run over Beerus’s thigh instead.

 “You’re such a bastard. Of course I want you to touch me.”

 “Then why didn’t you just say so?”

 “Because, Whis, you never seemed interested in these kinds of things. Or are you about to march us off to Planet Sarkay to satisfy me?”

 “Oh no, I did specify that _I_ would be the one relieving you.” Whis ran his hand back up Beerus’s thigh, this time stopping to palm his erection through his pants.

Beerus exhaled with relief. “You don’t have to do this, Whis.”

 “I know, but I think you’ll find I _want_ to.”

Was he dreaming? Did that mean Whis had been thinking about this? Did he plan to offer more in the future? He was getting ahead of himself.

Whis was busy relieving him of the rest of his clothes. “My, it is quite large like this, isn’t it?”

 “So you haven’t been spying on me?” Not that he would have minded, he realised.

 “Of course not.” He got Beerus to sit on the table and then wrapped his hand around Beerus’s length. “But tell me, Lord Beerus, have you ever thought about me?”

 “Do you really want to know?”

 “At least once then?” Whis smiled. “I would have been offended if you hadn’t.”

 “I try not to. Because, you know, we live together and you said you don’t like sex, so I didn’t want to…” _To get my hopes up_. But he wasn’t going to say that aloud because what he’d been imagining might not be anything like what Whis was offering.

 “Did I say that?”

 “Y-yeah?” Although the hand on his cock was telling him that he’d heard it completely wrong. “Maybe you just implied it.”

 “No, it’s true, I’m not particularly fond, but for my destroyer, _anything_.”

 “Anything?” Beerus repeated in a daze. What the fuck was going on right now?

Whis removed his hand, instead placing them on Beerus’s knees as he leaned in for a kiss. “Yes. Now, excuse me for being nosey, but I know you’d prefer this…” Whis’s staff appeared, tapped the floor and then Whis was kneeling between his legs. Beerus glanced down to see Whis had conjured up something that would give him a bit more height to kneel on, but his attention was quickly diverted to the hands gripping his thighs and parting them.

 _No way._ He cupped Whis’s chin, looking down at the angel with surprise. “Nosey? Who was telling you all this?”

 “The second Madam of your favourite brothel charged by the services you used. I was given a detailed list.”

How embarrassing… “Sorry you had to know.”

 “Useful information for now.” Whis pulled Beerus’s cock towards him, confidently running his tongue from base to tip.

Beerus sat there bewildered by the fact Whis seemed to be very proficient at sucking cock. The angel had no hesitations about taking the whole length in his mouth, even deep-throating Beerus a few times. _What the fuck has Whis been up to when I’m not around?_

 “Fucking hell, Whis…” Beerus muttered under his breath as he felt his climax fast approaching. He didn’t want to come this quickly, but the angel’s tongue was leaving him with no other choice. “Do you swallow as well?”

For the first time since he started, Whis stopped his assault on Beerus’s cock. “I forgot to ask your preference on that. The lists were varied.”

 “Whatever you prefer.” Yes, let’s get an idea of what Whis liked, because there was clearly something to be liked.

Whis swallowed like a champion. It wasn’t often his partner didn’t let a bit slip out the corner of their lips.

 “I like it clean.”

Unfortunate; Beerus wanted to decorate Whis in cum if this happened again. He pulled the angel up onto the table, giving him a long kiss before wrapping his arms around him. “Thank you.”

 “It was my pleasure.”

 “Oh… Yes, _your_ pleasure. I should give you that massage.” Beerus pressed his fingers into Whis’s shoulder. “Unless, there’s something else you’d prefer…” His hand trailed down Whis’s chest, mirroring the move Whis had made on him earlier.

Whis cocked a brow. “No, just the massage if you’d be so kind,” he said with a bemused tone.

 “It’s going to be good, I warn you. Now I’m going to make sure you moan properly.”

 “Do you think I’ve been holding back?”

 “No, _I_ have.” But now everything was out in the open he could go as hard as he wanted.

 

**Ooo**

 

 “Whis, who taught you how to suck cock?” He decided to just come right out with it. The question had been bothering him for weeks now. And all that time he’d been trying to figure out how to repay Whis properly, but so far he hadn’t been able to offer anything in return.

 “The previous destroyer.”

He didn’t know why he expected a different answer. Who else would teach _Whis_ something? “Did she make you suck a lot of dicks?”

 “No, just one.”

Good, that was a bit more in-line with his ideas about Whis’s escapades. “Who was the lucky guy?”

 “She was.”

Beerus stopped, taking a moment to reassess his ideas about the previous destroyer.

 “Oh, come on, my lord,” Whis said. “Is it that difficult to process?”

 “Well, I thought she was…” He wasn’t going to go there. He’d seen enough diversity in his time by now to know he shouldn’t make assumptions.

 “But that was our private affair and I shan’t discuss it further. Much like I won’t discuss our current one with the next destroyer.”

 “Yeah, well, I got my answer. I had this crazy idea you’d been dropping me off at the brothel and coming back five minutes later for a private lesson of your own.”

Whis laughed. “As if. I would have just had you teach me if I didn’t already know. Of course, please feel free to give me new tips that will satisfy you personally.”

 “You could –“ Beerus caught himself before he could embarrass himself. He couldn’t just _say_ that when his dick wasn’t hard.

 “Yes?”

 “Ask me next time you touch me.”

Whis snapped his book shut and moved to the sofa.

 “Not now!”

 “Why not? I want to know.” Whis already had his hand at Beerus’s waistband. Beerus gripped his wrist firmly.

 “Because – because I need to repay you. You’ve got me off like three times already and I’ve done nothing for you!”

 “You’ve given me two massages. Fair payment, I’d say.”

Beerus could feel his face heating up. “I meant, I want to get you off.”

Whis laughed, waving his hand in front of his face. “You can’t. Or have you really not noticed?”

 “Just because you don’t have a cock, doesn’t mean there isn’t something _else_ hiding between your legs. Not like I’ve had a good look.”

 “Well, I appreciate the sentiment, but it’s a physical impossibility.”

Beerus frowned. “So is that why you moan like a whore when I give you a massage, or you eat something really good? Because that’s the peak of pleasure for you?”

 “Yes,” Whis turned serious, “But do I really sound like a whore?”

 “Unfortunately, yes. Do you know how hard it was for me to _not_ get hard hearing you?”

Whis shrugged. “Can’t relate. You should have told me sooner. I’ll try to tone it down a bit.”

 “No, don’t! I like it.” Beerus smirked.

 “As you wish, my lord.”

 “And I’m going to get you some really nice sweets so you can feel good too. It’s just so sad that you’ll never know how fantastic an orgasm is, Whis.”

 “I don’t see it as a great loss.”

 “I do. I really wanted to…” There was another thing he wasn’t admitting right now.

 “What was that, my lord?” Whis began to caress him through his pants. “Did you need an incentive to finish that sentence?”

He wasn’t going to try and stop the angel. “I wanted to see you lost in pleasure.”

 “Isn’t what I look like post-massage enough?”

 “No, I don’t want to see you relaxed. I want to see you…” _Like how I imagined you in my fantasies…_ “Tense, and begging for release.”

 “How perverse.”

 “You’re always so calm and collected. I wanted to see a different side of you, and that was the only way I could think of seeing it.”

 “Can I blame you?” Whis had slipped his hand beneath the fabric now. “I can’t lie and say I don’t enjoy seeing you in this position.”

Beerus let a moan slip out. “But _why_ do you enjoy seeing me like this? Isn’t that a bit strange if there’s no sexual pleasure derived from it?”

 “Every angel wants their destroyer to depend on them – it keeps us in a job, you know. I suppose it’s an extension of that. But, of course, I love you too, so I get a lot of pleasure from seeing you enjoy yourself when I’m the cause. I know this means a lot to you, such a mortal way to display love.”

 “And how do angels love?”

 “How I’ve been loving you so far. Of course, the only angels I know are all my family, so there is nothing more than familial love.”

Beerus moved his hips in an attempt to get Whis to stroke him faster.

 “Ah, I see, you’ve finally run out of words. I love the bit where you call my name, and swear, and tell me how good you feel. It makes me feel good when I know I’m doing a good job.”

 “I love you, Whis.”

 “That’s the first time you’ve ever said it so plainly. Maybe you can say it again when you’re not being driven by hormones.”

 “Shut up and just listen to me moan your name.”

 “Oh no, I think you’ll find you promised to tell me something first.”

 “Did I?”

Whis settled down between Beerus’s legs, enjoying the way Beerus bit his lower lip as Whis kissed the hard flesh. “You were going to tell me how I could increase your pleasure.”

 “Well, it’s not a big thing, but I wouldn’t mind if you…”

Whis teased the tip with his tongue. “Yes?”

 “…Fondled my balls from time to time.”

 “I see. You’ll have to tell me if I’m doing it right; it’s my first time with such anatomy.”

 “Oh, and you could sound less clinical sometimes, you know.”

Whis slipped a hand between them, getting a feel for what he’d already decided was the ugliest part of Beerus. “Would you prefer some kind of dirty talk?”

His kneejerk reaction was no, he didn’t want to hear Whis say anything like the things _he’d_ said. But wouldn’t it be fun to say yes and see what he came out with? “Just…” _Pretend like you’re enjoying this too?_ That didn’t sound right. “Mirror me.”

 “Aw, how disappointing. I was hoping you’d opt for me calling you my bitch or something.”

Beerus choked on his breath – Whis didn’t _say_ those things! Whis didn’t _think_ those things! _He_ should be the one imagining that maybe he could convince Whis to say that even once! _“W-Whis!”_

The angel laughed. “Your face is quite the picture, my lord.”

 “W-well of course it is! You don’t _swear_ , Whis. I’m shocked!”

 “I won’t do so again. I didn’t realise it would be quite so jarring for you to hear.” Whis kissed Beerus’s dick as an apology. “Of course, if you want me to mirror you, isn’t swearing going to be part and parcel?”

 “I just meant the tone. I know you can do a sexy voice!”

 “Can I?” Whis hummed. “You’ll have to tell me all about this sexy voice of mine. I want to know when you’ve heard it. But for now, I think I should be silent, lest I never get my face out of your crotch.”

 “Well, that tip you wanted – just give them a little squeeze from time to time.”

 “Like this?” Whis asked.

Beerus groaned. “Yeah, perfect. And, uh…” He was distracted by the way Whis gazed up at him while engulfing his cock. “Can I…see it on your tongue this time?”

Whis’s hummed assent vibrated gloriously around his throbbing cock. With that prize in mind, he knew he wasn’t going to last long. Whis seemed to understand what Beerus wanted out of the mirroring idea, as he pretended to moan, stifled by the appendage in his mouth. Of course, Beerus knew it was all fake, but that didn’t matter one bit to his dick.

 “Fuck, Whis, that’s… Yeah… Whis, I’m gonna come…”

With perfect timing, Whis opened his mouth, resting Beerus’s cock on the tip of his tongue as he released. Beerus bit his hand to stifle his own embarrassing moans as he watched Whis expertly lap up his seed. That was a sight he was certainly going to beat off to in the near future. He noticed Whis wiping away a stray bead from his lower lip, and smirked at the slight imperfection.

 “So, this sexy voice?”

 “Come on, Whis, give me five minutes to bask in the afterglow before you start asking hard questions.”

Whis ran a hand between Beerus’s ears. “I’m sorry, did I suck too much out of you? Are your brains all muddled?”

 “Shut up, wrap your arms around me, and whisper some sappy shit into my ear.”

 “Of course, darling.”

Beerus raised his brows. Now _that_ was something he could get used to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man I was gonna ditch that 2nd nsfw scene like twice, but didn’t. And yes I am allowing myself one (1) use of the word ‘throbbing’ in this long-ass fic so let me live.


	18. Amai

 “Well, I do apologise. He didn’t tell me he was expecting you, sir.” Whis pushed open the doors to Beerus’s room. “Of course, it does explain why he wanted to use my staff the other day.”

They looked up to see Beerus half-hanging off his bed.

 “It’s good to see that you give him such freedom. I hear things are stricter in Universe 6,” the kai said.

Whis feigned surprise. “My, my, I didn’t know the Supreme Kais were such gossips! So, have you come to spy on your own destroyer to compare notes?”

 “Nothing like that. Although, perhaps I will – it would be beneficial to my understanding of destroyers in general after all.”

Whis floated up to Beerus, gently rousing him by petting his head. “So, can I ask _why_ you’re here?”

 “I shan’t be here much longer. Lord Beerus has somewhere to show me.”

 _That_ was even more curious. The destroyer stirred and stretched before settling into a new position. “No, no, Lord Beerus, it’s time to get up.”

 “It’s very sweet of you to be so gentle,” the kai noted. “I was expecting loud noises, perhaps a few crashes and bangs. Makes me wonder how he slept through the last meeting when we were having that heated debate about Planet Parc.”

 “I wouldn’t want to put him in a foul mood before his outing with you.” Whis leant down and whispered into Beerus’s ear, making the destroyer jolt up and look down at the kai.

It took him a few moments to process, and then he called out, “What time d’you call this?!”

 “Late afternoon,” the kai replied. “I’ve already had a tour of your gardens in the hope that I was early and you weren’t ready yet.”

Beerus huffed and fell from the bed, catching himself just before he hit the ground. “You ever drink coffee on the Sacred World? Because I’m gonna need one before we go anywhere.”

 “And where exactly is it we’re going?”

Beerus pulled a folded piece of paper from his gold cuff and handed it to the Supreme Kai.

 “Planet –“ The kai was immediately silenced by a hand over his mouth.

 “Don’t say it!”

The kai removed Beerus’s hand. “Your handwriting is terrible.”

 “I even put down the coordinates so there’s no confusion.”

 “Yes, quite unnecessary. I know where every planet is.”

 “Ooh, look at you showing off.”

**Oo**

 “Are you going to tell me why we’re here?” the kai asked when they arrived.

 “Yeah, er – do you have a name? Or should I just call you by your title?” Beerus asked. “Or I could just call you West like at the meetings?”

 “You may call me Nish, or you may stick with West. I am not fussed, but perhaps ‘Supreme Kai’ would sound a bit weird if the locals overhear us.”

 “Well, Nish, I’m here to get a little something for Whis. But obviously I can’t just get Whis to take me or it wouldn’t be a surprise.”

 “I see. So I’m just your ride?” He sounded disappointed.

 “Yeah, but it’ll be fun to hang out, right? I don’t really see you guys all that much outside of work, so I’m looking forward to getting to know another side of a kai.”

 “And is there a reason you chose _me_ out of the five of us?”

 “You picked up my call. And I thought, you know, I should get to know the rest of you too – not just Grand.”

 “So, Lord Beerus –“

 “Please, don’t be so formal. If you’re allowing me to use just your name, you should do the same for me.”

Nish shifted uncomfortably, not used to being so informal. “You’re right…Beerus.” It sounded wrong. Even with the other kais he always paid Beerus every respect. “Did you have a gift in mind? Or are we hunting one down?”

 “I know where we’re going – but I haven’t decided what to get from there. I thought you could help me. I hope you have a sweet tooth.”

 “I’m quite partial to sugary treats.”

 “Fantastic.” Beerus began to lead the way.

 “Lord Beerus! Welcome!” The shop keeper was familiar with him by now. He and Whis had decided that they had to make the most of this place while it was here; he had now learned how disappointing it was to lose fantastic food due to short mortal lifespans. “No Mr. Whis today?”

 “Not today, Nanab. I’m getting him a special treat, and I’ve got a friend to help me decide.”

Nanab nodded enthusiastically; whenever Beerus came to her shop it was a good day for business. “Well, let me know if I can be of any help.” She began to make herself busy, giving them space to browse.

 “This is…the most amazing sweet shop I’ve ever been in,” Nish said. Everything was displayed perfectly in glass cases, as if he were stood in a jewellery shop. The descriptions made the food sound lavish, as if there wasn’t anything in here that was plain or had no thought put into it. “So, what were you planning to get?”

 “I don’t know,” Beerus said. “I thought we could taste-test half the shop before we decide.”

Nish looked at Beerus like he was mad. “Are you serious?”

 “Uh, yeah?” Beerus pointed over to some stools near the counter. “We’ll just sit there and eat until the matter’s settled. Whis likes fruity sweets, so we’ll mainly try them.”

Strawberry cream enrobed in milk chocolate, citrus truffles, orange jelly slices coated in sugar, and chewy lemon cubes… The list went on and on.

 “You alright there, Nish?”

 “I think I’m overdosing on sugar here. You may have to carry on without me.”

Beerus laughed. “I thought kais were made of sturdier stuff than that.”

 “We don’t eat nearly as much as you seem to.”

 “More for me.” Beerus popped a white chocolate raspberry ball into his mouth. “Oh, that one’s definitely coming home with me.”

 “It’s lovely that you’re doing this for Whis,” Nish said. “You’re very lucky to have him. He seems very sweet.”

 “Isn’t he just?” Beerus agreed without thinking much about it, busy pondering over which item to try next.

 “Is this your first time out without him? He seemed quite reluctant to see you go earlier.”

Beerus paused. “…I think so. Never had a reason to go out without him.”

 “So this is his first gift?” Nish wasn’t going to comment on how late he thought it, but clearly the way he’d delivered the line gave him away.

 “Hey! I’ve given him other gifts. Some not as much of a surprise, others not an item to obtain. Trust me, when you live with an angel you’ll find they’re not very easy to gift at all – they don’t seem to need or want much.”

 “I see.”

 “You know, I don’t think he even _needs_ to eat. He just does for fun. And he’ll eat more than me while he’s at it!” Beerus huffed. “Eats me under the table, drinks me under the table… Sometimes he’s quite annoying. So, you know, today’s been fun, because I’m the champion eater!”

 “So, have you decided which ones to get?”

Beerus called Nanab over. “I’ll take two of all the ones I’ve tried.”

Nish’s mouth dropped open. “That’s… I tried at least 20!”

 “Whis deserves to try them all too. And I’d better get him a second one in case he really likes them – or if he’s feeling generous.” Beerus grinned, hoping he’d get an orange one. “Say, do you have any money?”

Nish’s mouth ever-widened. “Are you serious? You didn’t bring any currency with you?”

Beerus shrugged. “Whis usually takes care of these things. I mean, if I’m desperate I threaten to destroy people, but that’s not really how I want to go with this place. I reckon she’d open a tab for Whis to pay next time we come back, but that’s not really how you give a gift, right? And _you_ can create, right? That’s your role in this universe, _right?”_

Nish sighed. “Strictly speaking, I shouldn’t meddle in planet economics like this, but… Whis must be, so I’m sure paying this one time won’t hurt.”

A box was placed on the counter gently in front of Beerus. “Here you go, Lord Beerus. 62 pieces in total – your biggest order yet!” Nanab smiled. “I’ll do you a deal because you’re my favourite customer – only 300 taels.”

Nish raised his eyebrows and placed a silk bag on the counter, the metal in it clinking satisfyingly. “Thank you for entertaining us this afternoon. It’s been a wonderful experience.” He should get out like this more often.

Nanab emptied the bag and handed it back to Nish. “No, no, thank _you_ for visiting. You’re welcome back any time.”

Beerus picked up the box and waved goodbye, leading Nish out into the cool evening air. “Do you have somewhere to put this?” He motioned to the box.

 “No?”

Beerus frowned. “God, I miss Whis.”

 “Did you want to return home?”

Beerus shrugged. “I guess. Got what I came for, and nowhere to put it. Uh, unless _you_ wanted to go somewhere?”

 “No, no, I’m quite done with adventures today. I could use a long sit down with a nice cup of tea.” Nish held out his hand, but Beerus placed a hand on his shoulder instead.

They appeared outside the main entrance to Beerus’s castle. “Well, thanks for today. I really appreciate you taking me where I wanted to go – and instantly too! Big plus, that. Much faster than Whis.”

 “You’re welcome, Lord Beerus. It was quite a _different_ day, and I hope that telling the others won’t make them too jealous – you might just have to take them all out one by one!” Nish joked, certain that none of the other kais would be jumping at the opportunity to play attendant to the destroyer for a day.

 “You know, maybe I _should_.” Meeting up with Nish like this had shown him how much he _didn’t_ know about his colleagues - something he should really fix before he gets even older and inevitably pretends he’s been paying attention. “But I’ve taken enough of your time for one day, and I’m sure you’re really busy, so I’ll see you next coordination meeting?” Now he had what he needed, he wanted nothing more than to get rid of the kai so he could deliver the goods.

Nish nodded, relived he didn’t have to stay. “Yes, I’ll see you then.”

Beerus stood at the doors for a moment, not having planned exactly how he was going to present his gift to Whis. Should it be a grand reveal? Or should he pretend it was no big deal?

The door opened and Whis looked around. “Did I miss the Supreme Kai? I wanted to thank him for not leaving you stranded.”

 “And why would he do that?”

 “A very funny story, my lord. Let’s just say that one of my previous destroyers pushed their kai a little too far, and I had to go out and find him.”

 “Surely that was a piece of cake for you?”

 “My abilities _do_ have limits, you realise. The Supreme Kai dropped him off on the planet furthest from here just to make it that much more difficult.” Whis chuckled to himself at the memory. “Fortunately this won’t happen again, as I can now spy on you all I like; the Grand Priest did a fantastic job upgrading our staves.”

Beerus frowned. “You weren’t spying on me today, were you?”

 “Now, now, I have more faith in you and the Supreme Kai than that. Perhaps I might have looked in on you had you been gone past dinner time.” Whis looked down at the box Beerus was holding. “It’s very mean of you not to tell me where you’re going or how long for. I felt useless these past few hours. Off enjoying sweets, were you?”

 “Eh? Oh!” Beerus couldn’t hide the box now. “Actually, I… _Of course_ I enjoyed some myself, but I went there for _you_.” He held the box out to Whis, shyly averting his eyes. “I wanted to get you something, but secretly. It’s so hard to do that when you take me everywhere, so I asked Nish to take me instead.”

For a moment there was a look of pleasant surprise on Whis’s face, coupled with a faint blush. “That’s – that’s very sweet of you, my lord.” He bent down to kiss Beerus’s cheek as he took the box.

Beerus couldn’t help but smile with success – he’d made Whis speechless for all of half a second! “I got you two of each. Nanab had quite a few new ones since we last went.”

 “You got _me_ two of each, or you got one for you and one for me?”

 “Both for you!” Beerus wasn’t surprised by the accusation. “I’ll even feed them to you if you want…”

 “I think I’d quite enjoy that. Much better than you sitting there watching me and wishing you’d bought yourself some.”

 “You can eat them while I sleep if you’d prefer.”

 “No, no, I want to talk about the new ones, and for you to tell me all about your little date with the Supreme Kai.”

 “It wasn’t a date!” He attached himself to Whis’s side. “I only go on dates with you.”

Whis rubbed Beerus’s arm. “I was joking, my lord. You’re being awfully cute right now.”

 “Shut up,” Beerus muttered.

 

**Oo**

 

 “So, you didn’t get _him_ any sweets?” Whis asked as he accepted the blueberry parcel.

They were laying on the sofa, Whis laying across Beerus’s lap for once, the box of goodies in Whis’s lap as he pointed out which one he wanted to try next, Beerus reciting what it was and his opinion of it. They were almost halfway through the top layer.

 “He didn’t ask for any,” Beerus said. “Didn’t say he had any interest in taking any home with him. If he wanted some, he should have said!” He wasn’t going to feel guilty about this; he’d shown the kai this magical sweet shop, and that should be payment enough. “Besides, he was probably sugared out by the end.”

Whis couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s unfortunate. But for all your thoughtfulness regarding me, you could have at least thrown in something for him. After all, he not only transported you there, but also paid for everything.”

 “Money means nothing to gods. It wasn’t like he’d _earned_ the money.” Beerus looked at the one Whis was pointing to next. “Oh, this one’s fun! I think the ewest nut is particular to Planet Amai, and this is a praline made of it.”

Whis’s mouth made an O in intrigue. “Will you be going on more trips in the future?”

Beerus pressed a finger to Whis’s lips. “Shh. I’ll answer you, but first you have to appreciate this praline fully.” Carefully he popped the chocolate into Whis’s waiting mouth, watching to see if it tickled Whis’s fancy the same way it did for him.

 “Very interesting flavour,” Whis finally announced after much thought. “I feel like this is something that shouldn’t work as a dessert nut, but it _does_. We’ll have to go back and investigate what else it’s used in.”

 “I know, right? It reminded me of using chilli in chocolate. Something different, but quite fine.”

 “Yes, I imagine there are some people who wouldn’t agree with this. I’ll certainly need to taste the other one later to make sure I’ve made the right judgement.”

 “But anyway,” Beerus continued. “I think it’s only fair I at least learn the names of the other kais, don’t you think?”

 “Or you could pretend to forget the West Supreme Kai’s name.”

 “Don’t you want me to hang out with them?”

Whis shook his head. “Of course I want you to have a better relationship with your counterparts, but I also don’t think you should force yourself to see them ‘outside of work’ so to speak.” He paused to let a truffle melt in his mouth. “You could sound a bit more enthusiastic about going out with them if that’s your plan.”

 “It was weird without you,” Beerus admitted. “I guess I’m too used to always having you by my side.”

Whis reached to cup Beerus’s face. “So sweet…” he whispered.

 “Hey! Stop that. You’ve said I was sweet or cute or whatever at least three times today!” Beerus let out a small growl. “I’m a mean destroyer! I’m not sweet, I leave a sour taste in most people’s mouths. And I’m not cute!”

 “Why are you not cute?”

 “Because cute is what little kittens are, or small fluffy things, or –“

 “You’re cute to me, Lord Beerus. And while some people don’t see you as sweet, you’re sweet to _me._ ” Whis smiled softly. “You went to all this effort of calling up the Supreme Kai behind my back, and getting me something you knew I’d enjoy – that is a very sweet gesture. I don’t think I’ve thanked you properly for it yet, but I will soon.”

 “No! You don’t have to! I got you this to say thanks to _you_.”

 “See, there you are being _sweet_. And a cute little blush to go with it!”

Beerus hid his face in his hands. “I knew liking you was a bad idea. This is so embarrassing.”

Whis carefully moved the box to the table before throwing his arms around Beerus. “It’s these qualities about you that make me love you so!”

 “Urgh, Whis, you’re being so sappy!” He tried to shrug the angel off, but not trying very hard.

 “Didn’t you buy me these sweets so I’d react like this? Isn’t this what you wanted?”

 _Of course I did._ “Maybe.”

 “Or were you looking for a different reaction?” Whis dragged his fingertips down Beerus’s abs suggestively.

 “What? No!” He moved Whis’s hand away. “No, I just wanted to make you happy.”

Whis beamed. “Can I call you sweet again? Or would you prefer a different adjective?”

He buried his face in the angel’s shoulder. “I’m not very good at this. I can’t handle you saying all these things without looking like a beetroot, and I don’t know what to say in response.”

 “You don’t have to say anything.” Whis kissed him. “You just have to listen to how much I love you.”

 “Why do you love me, Whis?” Beerus hadn’t dwelled too much on the question, but his mind had thrown it at him a few times. “Why does a divine being like you love someone like me?” He wasn’t going to imply that Whis could do better seeing as he couldn’t think of many other people higher up than him that Whis could possibly form a romantic attachment with. “Why do angels love at all?” _Ah, that last question wasn’t meant to be voiced._

Whis had let Beerus run on with his questions because he had been choosing his words carefully – not wanting to compare his lord to a pet. It was very much like having a pet though. “Sometimes you meet someone, or find something, and you grow attached,” Whis began. “And sometimes you grow attached even though you know it will have to come to an end eventually and you’ll feel loss. But that’s okay, because you can do it all again, and it’ll still feel wonderful in the moment.” He held on to Beerus’s hand. “I don’t know why angels love, but I guess that it’s just one of those universal emotions shared by all beings. It certainly makes life a lot more interesting when I get to feel that rush of excitement when I see you in the morning, or that smile you bring to my face when you kiss me unexpectedly. Does it make me more mortal? Or does it show the divinity in mortals?” Maybe he was getting a bit too philosophical. “Either way, I cannot help but feel this comforting warmth in my heart when I’m with you. Why you? My lord, I chose you because I could see these charming qualities in you, even if you can’t.”

 “I was an absolute bastard back then, right? That’s what you saw of me.”

 “And when you were with your brother?” Whis reminisced. “I saw another side of you that I knew I’d see again someday. You may like to think you’re uncaring and only thinking about yourself – which is true most of the time – but you pay a great deal of care and attention to the most important people in your life.”

Beerus said nothing, aware that Whis was able to read him like a book by now. He wasn’t going to pretend Whis was wrong when he was very much speaking the truth. Instead he squeezed the angel tighter, enjoying this lovely heart-to-heart moment they’d had. Whis gently stroked the back of Beerus’s neck as they sat in silence, wondering what the destroyer was thinking about.

 “Did you want more sweets?” Beerus whispered.

 “Not yet, I’m enjoying this.”

Beerus hummed and closed his eyes, wanting to hold the angel like this forever.


	19. The Castle of Angelic Pleasure

There was a soft crunch as they touched down on the planet’s surface.

 “Oh! Snow!” Beerus was surprised, and oddly overjoyed by it. “I didn’t think it ever snowed here.” He trod around in the snow, enjoying how freshly fallen it must be.

 “It doesn’t usually snow this far inland,” Whis said.

 “And why’s it still so nice when this place is so populated?” He looked up to see if anyone had built anything out of the snow. “Hey, Whis, are you sure we’re in the right place?” Their surroundings were nothing like they should look; the buildings were in tatters, some clearly having had the tops blown off somehow.

 “This is definitely the city of Shu.” Whis pointed to a broken sign as he began to look into his staff.

Beerus walked over to the sign and brushed the snow off. Their favourite deep-fried prawn shop was gone. He could see right through to the other side, nothing recognisable among the rubble. “What happened here?”

 “War.” Whis couldn’t see into the past, but one of the Supreme Kais had been keeping tabs and posting news on the God Net.

 “I… That’s not fair!”

 “That’s life, my lord.”

Beerus kicked at the snow. He knew not to get attached to mortals, but he’d allowed himself to get attached to places. Now he couldn’t even allow that. Had he been away too long? It had been a while, hadn’t it? If he’d come back sooner, could he have prevented this? It wasn’t his job to protect. The kais should have done that, right?

He began to walk in a different direction, wondering if anything had survived. It was hard to pick out the places he’d once known now they weren’t all lit up with their different doors and windows, and the fact what was left was covered in a blanket of snow.

 “Let’s go, Whis. I’m cold.”

 “Would you like a coat?”

 “There’s nothing here to see. Let’s just go.”

Hearing the tone of finality in Beerus’s voice Whis offered his back and they were homeward-bound once more. “Would you like me to make you some prawns when we’re home? I still have the recipe, you know.”

 “No.”

 “You’re really disappointed, aren’t you?” Whis couldn’t fix the problem – something that he accepted, but was still an annoyance. He hated seeing Beerus like this. “We’ve been very lucky with Planet Sarkay staying largely the same since we started going there. It’s very unusual to see so little change, especially in a city like that.”

 “Maybe that’s why I liked it so much. The familiarity was nice.”

 “Maybe I should have stopped you getting so attached to it. Was there something you wanted today? Maybe I can find it elsewhere in the universe?”

 “Er, well… I’m no longer in the mood for what I wanted now.”

Whis caught his drift. “I see. You didn’t even go and see if it was still standing.”

 “What’s the point? It’s obvious there was nothing left in the area. I had half a mind to just finish it off myself.”

 “You can always put it forward at the next coordination meeting.”

 Beerus grumbled to himself – something about liking the place too much. Whis found it endearing that Beerus hadn’t yet developed the cut-throat attitude of some destroyers. He was sure Beerus would have regretted destroying any part of the planet today.

 

Whis waited until they were home to ask his burning question. “I will do my best to find you an equally enticing brothel, but, my lord, I must ask, am I not satisfying you?”

Beerus had expected the question sooner or later. “Of course you are. But…” He scratched the back of his head, worried about how Whis would feel. “Sometimes I just want something a bit more physical – not that… I mean, uh, _rougher_ , I guess?” Beerus groaned at his own explanation. “Look, Whis, my darling, I love you, but sometimes I just want to ram it into someone.”

 “I understand. Why didn’t you just say so?”

 “Because I worried that you’d be offended or something. I didn’t want you to feel like you weren’t good enough.”

Whis pulled Beerus close. “There’s that sugary sweetness coming out again.” He took Beerus’s hands and placed them on his ass. “But I mean that I _do_ have an orifice you can use if it pleases you.”

 “Oh… I…” He remembered one of the first fantasies he’d ever had involving Whis had been about having the angel beneath him like that… But he’d quickly stowed the idea away when he learned about Whis’s lack of sexual pleasure. “But there’s nothing in it for you?”

Whis shrugged. “Depends what you mean by that. If it would please _you_ , then it would please _me_.”

Beerus removed his hands from where Whis had placed them. “Uh, thanks, I guess? Um… Not _now_ though. Lunch has been a bit ruined…”

 “Would you like prawns, or something else to distract you?”

 “Let’s have prawns. In memory of that old shop and the many generations of master prawn deep-fryers we saw.”

 

**Ooo**

 

The angel was pinned against the glass of the aquarium, his destroyer locking lips with him as a hand sought to undo the blue sash at his waist. Now the black outer robe… Beerus broke the kiss to lift it over Whis’s face, but he was having a hard time getting it over the plume of hair.

 “Your hair’s so stupid,” Beerus complained.

 “Allow me.” Whis lifted it off with ease.

Beerus frowned as he looked at the maroon robe. “ _This_ is going to be even more of a pain, isn’t it?”

 “Shall I remove it?”

 “ _I_ wanted to undress you for once.” But it made sense why he’d always let Whis get on with it. “But, yeah, help me out when I need it.” He pulled on the hem of Whis’s robe, slipping his hands under so he could run them up Whis’s hips, sides, to his ribs. “Okay you can help me now.” Now he was confronted with the sight of beautiful blue skin, illuminated by the light of the aquarium and his halo. He let his hands caress those broad shoulders, knowing Whis would quite enjoy that sort of attention.

A finger came down to circle the angel’s purple-tinted nipple. “Whis, does this do anything for you?” He carefully brushed the sensitive skin, surprised to find it harden in response.

 “It’s quite pleasant. Perhaps I would liken it to the pleasure one feels when they scratch an itch – fleeting, and quite welcome.”

 “Strange. Why do angels even _have_ nipples?”

 “I don’t know. Why do _you?_ ”

 “Touché. But at least I can explain why half my species has them.” Beerus paused. “ _Had_ … Anyway, moving on.” He didn’t want to dwell on the past right now. He went in to kiss Whis again, pulling him away from the aquarium, and walking backwards until he hit the marble table. Now they were in position, and he switched places so that Whis was pushed up against the cold stone.

The buttons on Whis’s trousers beckoned him, and he undid them one by one, sliding the fabric down to pool at Whis’s ankles. There was something unfulfilling about not having anything to touch between Whis’s legs, but he didn’t air this thought. Luckily the angel took the lead, palming him through his pants.

 “Already so excited?” Whis asked with a smirk, quickly doing away with the clothes in his way.

 “When am I not excited about you?”

 “Well, I must say, that’s a better response than telling me to shut up.”

Beerus chuckled. “I wouldn’t want to sound like a broken record now, would I? I want you to know how much I want you.”

 “I worked so hard to find that brothel today, and all you want is me,” Whis sighed.

 “Their food had nothing on Sarkay’s – what were they calling it last time we went? Heaven’s House?”

 “The Palace of Heavenly Pleasure, actually. I did enjoy the way all the Madams used to change the name ever so slightly.”

Beerus nodded. “Well anyway, Planet Ebul has a long way to go when it comes to delivering pleasure that excites all the senses.”

 “Now, my lord, you shouldn’t generalise like that – there are probably many more suitable establishments on Ebul we have yet to discover. Maybe you should have at least tried one of the girls to see if they had other talents outside the kitchen.”

 “I was too busy keeping them off _you_. Besides, if they can’t feed me properly, what’s the point?”

The hand on his cock disappeared as Whis pulled their bodies flush. “Regardless of what you thought, I thoroughly enjoyed our visit, if just to see a more possessive side of you.”

Beerus cocked a brow. “Really?”

 “Oh, it was so amusing the way you kept distracting those girls away from me. Asking them to pass you a dish, or to fetch you a drink they hadn’t brought up with them. I was worried you might even get into a fight when one of them handed me a plate and kissed my hand.”

 “You’re _mine_.” He gently dragged his nails down Whis’s back. “I remember you once said you were for my eyes only. That’s how I want it to be.”

Whis pressed something into Beerus’s hand. “Good. Make me yours.”

Beerus looked down at the glass vial he was now holding – so typical of Whis to put lube in a fancy thing like this! He placed it on the table before turning Whis away from him. Before anything else, he took the time to massage Whis’s favourite areas briefly, aware he wasn’t going to be able to deliver a good massage like this. Then he slowly ran his hand up Whis’s back, gently pressing the angel down to the table.

 “Is this comfortable enough for you?”

 “Yes, please don’t worry about me so much, my lord.”

Beerus leaned over to kiss Whis’s back. “Of course I’m going to worry about you. I want you to know you can tell me to stop if you’re not enjoying it.”

 “Thank you, your concern means a lot to me.”

His hands firmly squeezed Whis’s ass before dipping between his legs, finding there was _something_ there. He began to explore some more –

 “That’s quite uncomfortable.”

 “Sorry.” Beerus retracted his hand.

 “I would ask how you’d like someone agitating your urethra, but I know you quite enjoy that.” Whis sighed. “Honestly, my lord, I do appreciate the gesture, but there really is nothing to be found.”

He nodded – not that Whis could see, and returned to the task at hand. Beerus wanted to take his time, but knowing that Whis wasn’t going to respond to his touch like others, he decided to just get down to business. Part of him was saying it was incredibly weird to be sticking his fingers in Whis’s ass as he lubed him up, but his cock was absolutely begging him to hurry up and replace those fingers.

He pushed in slowly, distracted by Whis’s lack of noise as he did so. He was so used to the people beneath him inhaling sharply, or moaning. Whis just laid there, only shifting his hips slightly to accommodate Beerus.

 “Can we talk?”

 “About what?” Whis asked.

 “I don’t know, anything.” Beerus began to find his rhythm. “I don’t like this silence.”

 “Did you want me to moan for you?”

 “No, because that would be fake.”

 “Still, you might enjoy it.” Whis hummed. “Doesn’t the sound of my moans turn you on? I’m sure that’s what gets you every time you massage me.”

 “It’s different,” Beerus insisted.

 “You know, sometimes I make excessive noise just to see how much I can taunt you.”

 “You’re a real bastard, you know.”

Whis covered his mouth as he gave a muffled moan. “Faster, Lord Beerus!”

Beerus slapped Whis’s ass. “Stop that.”

 “Ouch! You don’t have to be so mean. I know you want to go faster.”

 “Sorry.” Beerus rubbed the skin he’d hit. “Fuck, do I want to go faster.”

Whis rolled his hips to spur Beerus on. “Go on, then. I’m here for _you_ , remember.”

He did as he desired, enjoying the sound of skin on skin that followed. “How’s this?”

 “Much more like I was expecting. Did you want me to move with you?”

 “Actually, I was…” He grabbed hold of Whis’s hips. “…just going to hold you in place now.”

 “Do you still want me to talk?”

 “Yeah, I love listening to you.”

Whis hummed as he thought about what to say, deciding to just air his thoughts aloud. “I must admit it’s quite strange being asked to just talk about nothing particular in a position such as this. I’m sure by now you’ve realised I’ve done this before, but my previous partner was more than happy for me to fake every noise until the end. But it doesn’t seem appropriate to talk about previous instances when I’ve got someone else’s member in my anus.”

Beerus couldn’t help but snort at Whis’s word choices.

 “And my lord seems quite amused but something I’ve just said. Perhaps he’d rather I chose a term for his penis that he uses himself? Cock’s your favourite, right?”

 “Yeah. Anything but _member_ , Whis. You sound like you’ve been reading too many romantic novels.”

 “I find it a more polite term. I’m not a fan of using slang, as you may have gathered, and I knew correct anatomical terms weren’t going to be appreciated.”

Beerus grunted as he continued to push in and out of Whis. “Anus is anatomical.”

 “I suppose, but it’s certainly much more preferable to ‘asshole’ which I find quite vulgar, and better than being more specific than saying rectum. Are you getting close, my lord?”

 “Mmm, maybe.”

 “I’ll continue then. Although I’m gaining no physical pleasure from this, I’m finding that I’m quite enjoying having you inside me. I feel wanted, which is always a wonderful feeling – much better than just being needed, as is often the case.”

 “I’ve never not wanted you.”

 “Don’t tell lies, Lord Beerus. We’ve had our share of falling outs over the years, and there were certainly some times you didn’t _want_ me around. But I feel like this bodily union is bringing us closer together. I would say that if you wish to do this again, then I’d quite like to do so with me facing you. It’s not all that fun to be staring at the furniture, and I’d quite like to steal a kiss or two. When I touch you while kissing you and you moan into my mouth – that’s what makes me feel like I’m doing a good job.”

 “I’m going to kiss you so much after this to make up for that.” Beerus’s thrusts were becoming needier. “I can come inside, right?”

 “Of course you can. I said I wanted you to make me yours, didn’t I? I want you to possess me in every way.”

 “ _Fuck_ , Whis, you keep saying things like that and I’m not going to last.”

 “So _that’s_ what you want to hear? How I want you to take what you want when you want it?”

 “God, the sexy voice is here,” Beerus moaned. “Took you long enough.”

 “Ah yes, you like to call me sexy, don’t you? Possibly the highest compliment you can pay me when I do nothing to even try and achieve that adjective. I love that I’m so naturally alluring to you. You know, Lord Beerus, if I could, I’d touch myself to you too.”

 “Holy shit.” _That_ was the line that pushed Beerus over the edge. His thighs pressed hard against Whis’s as he pushed in balls-deep, filling the angel with his seed.

 “I wish I knew what that peak felt like. You do make it sound like a fun sensation - as if you’re enjoying something slightly painful, and then suddenly everything is fine again! Maybe one day I’ll know… For all I know there could be a hidden sexual awakening for angels at millions of millions years old!”

Beerus slowly eased out of Whis, enjoying watching the way his cum leaked out. He pulled Whis up, and scooped the angel up in his arms, carrying him through to the sofa room. There he laid the angel down, climbing on top of him, and providing the promised kisses.

 “Don’t bother finding a brothel,” Beerus said.

Whis smiled. “Glad I could be of service.”

 

**Ooo**

For once Beerus paid close attention to the list of planets and peoples handed to him at the coordination meeting. He stopped Whis from snatching the book up after just a glance, instead reading each and every name.

 “Was something not to your liking, Lord Beerus?” Grand asked.

As usual he hadn’t paid attention _during_ the meeting itself, but he knew he didn’t have to when the final list was all that mattered.

 “Planet Sarkay,” Beerus said. “I’d like to add it.” It was the first time he’d ever suggested any amendment to the list.

South cleared her throat. “Can I ask why?”

 “That planet has left a sour taste in my mouth. I would like to see the back of it.”

 “I respectfully ask you to retract your request. Planet Sarkay is currently one of our best civilisations.”

Beerus knew he was being selfish. After all, there was probably so much more on that planet he hadn’t yet discovered due to his set ways. “Why did you allow them to level the city of Shu?”

 “It is not my job to meddle in the affairs of mortals,” South said. “The war that resulted in the loss of Shu has already improved technology, as well as understanding between the people living there.”

It wasn’t often that someone told him he couldn’t have something; there weren’t many people who had the nerve or authority to. But he knew South knew more than he did, and he had to yield to her in this matter.

 “Fine.”

Grand could sense the displeasure in Beerus, and offered a few words he hoped would placate him. “The war on Sarkay was small, and quite localised. The rest of the planet continues to move in a direction that will improve the mortal level of the universe.”

Yes, he had to remember that this was a _job_ and there were rules that came with it. He closed the book and handed it to Whis, the kais relaxing in their chairs now the moment was over. Beerus declined their offer of tea.

 “What an entertaining end!” Whis said as they made their way home. “I didn’t think you’d remember to ask.”

 “Once upon a time I might have forgotten our final trip to Sarkay a couple of centuries ago, but now a century is like a week – still quite fresh in the mind.”

 “And I suppose days are like seconds now?”

 “Minutes, maybe. I slept for a few decades recently, right? And yet when I woke up it was as if it’d only been one night.”

 “Yes, you’ve most certainly adapted to time of the gods. But, you know, if you _really_ want to see the back of Planet Sarkay, your finger only has to _slip…_ ”

Beerus sighed, tempting as it was… “I don’t want to piss off the kais. They’ve got a job to do just as I have, and really we should probably keep each other in line, right? That’s the point of this whole balance thing.”

 “Very wise, my lord.”

 “So why are you trying to tempt me to be a naughty boy?”

Whis laughed. “I did no such thing! As always I am merely here to make you as happy as possible. And really, one planet’s destruction would be nothing in the grand scheme of things.”

 “Exactly. It’s just one planet, so why should I care? I’ve got better things to do with my time.”

 “Like what?” Whis asked. “Destroying should be the most important use of your time.”

Beerus grumbled that he hadn’t been able to retort quick enough with ‘you.’ “If it’s not on the list, then I’ve got better things to do like eat copious amounts of food. So take me somewhere good as a reward for sitting through that godawful drag of a meeting.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lifted the name ‘Palace of Heavenly Pleasure’ from a book I read recently which centred on a brothel haha.


	20. Sharing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the award for worst chapter title is certainly going here (it's an awkward bridging chapter leave me alone).

 “Lord Beerus, you have visitors,” Whis said as he tried to wake the sleeping god. “My lord –“ The angel was pulled down onto the bed, Beerus snuggling up to him. “Your brother is waiting for you in the dining room.” Whis extracted himself, but was pulled down again, a kiss being placed on his cheek.

A roar of laughter filled the cavernous room. “BEERUS!” Champa yelled, amused by the echo, but also by his brother.

Beerus cracked open an eye and immediately released Whis. “What time d’you call this?!”

 “Uh…” Champa looked up at Vados.

 “Approximately 42 tacks past the 13th hour of your planet.”

 “Late afternoon!” Champa said with a grin.

Beerus pulled himself up and head-butted Whis’s arm. “Why’d you let him come over?”

 “Last we spoke about it, my lord, you said you’d allow Lord Champa to visit at any time he pleased.”

Ah yes, he remembered extending that privilege to his brother, not that Champa would have abided by the ‘call ahead’ rule if he had tried to impose it.

Champa huffed. “Don’t want to see me? I came all the way out here after you didn’t visit me for decades on end.”

 “Why do _I_ always have to visit _you?_ ”

 “Nonsense! It was your turn to visit me!” Champa frowned. “I wondered if something had happened to you. Or maybe you forgot about me.”

 “Yeah, well, uh… Didn’t realise the time, clearly.” There was something about the fact his brother still cared about him that made his annoyance at his sudden awakening dissipate. “I’ve got some stuff for you to try, actually.” He hadn’t been planning to give away his latest goodies from Planet Catcholeo, but it was nothing he couldn’t replace. “Give me a few minutes.”

Champa seemed pleased with this, and began marching back to the dining room, wondering what Beerus had in store for him.

 “Are you really going to give him our chocolates?” Whis asked, having easily guessed what Beerus had in mind.

 “Good reason to go back, right?”

 “I suppose.”

Beerus leaned in for a kiss. “Sorry, dear, I know how much you were looking forward to them.”

 

Champa was delighted by the assortment laid out in front of him. He loved the little menu card that came with it, and how each chocolate had a unique design. His one criticism was that they were ‘too small.’ Well, that didn’t matter if you had enough of them, Beerus argued.

 “Anyway, how are things?” Beerus asked, wondering if his brother was really going to sit there and not even offer him a chocolate. Perhaps Champa thought that it wasn’t worth offering to someone who could easily get more in this universe – but then surely he should have offered one to Vados? In order to not see his brother as having become utterly selfish, he assumed that Vados was not as partial to sweet foods as Whis.

 “Same old, same old,” Champa said as he eyed up the criss-cross pattern of one chocolate. “Training, eating, sleeping, more eating. I’m not bored of this life yet.”

 “No, neither am I. Do you think maybe you should swap more eating for more training?”

Champa slammed his fist on the table. “I don’t need to train more! Vados is always saying I should eat less, and I don’t want to hear it from you too! We never had enough to eat, and now I’m making up for it. Or are you jealous that my angel feeds me better than yours?”

 “What a ridiculous notion! Whis has never let me go hungry in my life! But if Vados says you should eat less, maybe she should be more pro-active about it.” He noticed Whis beside him was trying hard not to laugh. “Or maybe you should stop eating so much and offer me a damn chocolate!”

Champa went to retort, but looked a bit sheepish. “I assumed you didn’t want one… You said you got them for _me_ to try.”

Beerus wasn’t going to tell the truth about their origin. “Doesn’t your angel teach you any manners? It’s a wonder it wasn’t _you_ who talked back to Grand Zeno and got himself killed.”

 “Hey, now! I’m polite when I need to be. But with you, brother, well, it’s not necessary, is it?”

He looked at Champa. “I still see my little brother –“

 “By like two minutes,” Champa reminded him.

 “Ahem, I still see my slightly younger brother, and how sweet you used to be to me, and now… I guess you’ve grown up.”

Champa hummed. “Yes, and I see you’ve just got grumpier in your old age.”

 “Hey! You’ve caught me just after I’ve woken up, sitting here watching you eat, while I haven’t had any breakfast.” He tapped Whis’s thigh. “Get me something.”

 “Vados, go and see what Beerus has in his kitchen,” Champa ordered.

Beerus wasn’t going to correct him; it was _Whis’s_ kitchen.

Champa wasted no time once the angels were gone. “Tell me, brother, you and Whis…?”

Beerus didn’t take the bait, feigning ignorance as to what was being asked.

 “Come on, I saw you kiss him earlier. You sit far closer than Vados and I.”

 “Your point?”

 “How do you seduce an angel?” Champa asked. “Vados is a goddess given a beautiful form that walks this universe and I want nothing more than to worship her properly.”

Beerus tried hard not to laugh, but it came out as a snort. It was one thing for his brother to ask the question, but the extra detail really was the cherry on top. “Oh, Champa, my dear brother, you have so much to learn.”

 “What’s that supposed to mean?” Champa narrowed his eyes. “Or are you saying you haven’t got that far yet?”

 “Wouldn’t you like to know? I wouldn’t like to presume I know enough about Vados.” And really, Beerus had hardly had to do anything to ‘seduce’ Whis; it had been quite the mutual exchange of feelings by the time he got to it. “But if you really like her, maybe you can start by offering her a fucking chocolate.”

 “Enough with the chocolates!” Champa said defensively.

 “I’m just saying, treat her nicely and you _might_ get somewhere.”

 “Is that what you did?”

Beerus just smiled, remaining tight-lipped as the angels returned with food.

 “Oh, good.” Whis smiled. “I’m glad we were able to leave you two alone for more than a minute without you fighting.”

Without missing a beat, both drearily recited, “Grand Zeno said we’re not allowed to fight.” They locked eyes, realising they’d had a twin moment, and then quickly looked in opposite directions.

Beerus bit into the meaty buns Whis had provided. “Anyway, you’ve gotta tell me about what whacky, wonderful things you’ve seen recently in your universe. I need to know so I can find things to out-do you with.”

Champa was ready with answers, and Beerus found it endearing that even after this long, his brother was still collecting things to show him, purely because he thought Beerus would enjoy them.

 

**Ooo**

 

The remains of a planet laid scattered in space. Beerus scratched his head in confusion.

 “Did you take me to the wrong place?”

Whis peered into his staff. “No, this is the right place. Correct coordinates, and definitely there when we left.”

 “Who the fuck has the power to destroy planets that isn’t us?”

 “Possibly the inhabitants did.” Whis was searching for further information. “Actually –“

 “Who’s that?” Beerus pointed to a small pink child heading their way.

 “Ah. Don’t engage him, my lord.”

Beerus was bewildered by the order, but Whis didn’t seem to be in any joking manner, so he obeyed.

The child-like creature stopped short in front of them, and Beerus got a good look at it. Certainly it was no child, even if it looked like one. The energy emanating from it was unlike anything he’d ever encountered, and although he didn’t know what to make of it, he knew he didn’t like it.

The creature stared back, cocking its head from side to side as it looked from Beerus, to Whis, and back again. Mainly it stared at Beerus, with quick glances back to Whis, as if trying to make sense of the pair.

It was becoming increasingly difficult for Beerus to remain quiet and not say something. He had questions – _why are you staring? Why did Whis say not to engage you? Does that mean I can’t talk to it?_

Suddenly the thing let out a scream, turned around, and flew off in the other direction. Whis let out a relieved sigh.

 “Well? You’ve got a lot of explaining to do.” Beerus folded his arms.

 “That being is known as Buu, and for ease of understanding, is the original destroyer. But he should not be mistaken for a God of Destruction; he has been around longer than the gods have.”

 “So you weren’t his attendant at some point?”

 “Certainly not.” Whis laughed at the prospect. “Buu is a force of nature that cannot be domesticated like that. He cannot tell right from wrong, and as such I advised you not to engage him. He could destroy you for no reason, and although your power has grown considerably, I don’t think you could stop him if he tried.”

 “And why am I only finding out about this asshole now?”

 “Buu hibernates for long periods of time – I’m talking tens of millions of years, and he’s only active for a week at most. We have been very lucky to chance upon him today.”

 “ _Lucky?_ ” Beerus scoffed.

 “The previous destroyer never encountered Buu. In fact, this is only the second time we’ve met.”

 “Well, I guess I’ll forget about it then, if it’s such a rare occasion.” Beerus stretched. “Hard day at work thanks to Buu. A shame, I was really looking forward to expending some energy.”

 “We can move onto the next planet if you wish.”

 “More _travelling?_ I think not, Whis. But… If this asshole is having a mad destroying spree, aren’t the kais going to be mad?”

 “There’s nothing we can do about it, and nothing they can do about it.” Whis turned homeward. “Don’t worry, they’ll know it wasn’t you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted this finished by Christmas, but here we are. I think I’m about 3 or 4 chapters from the finish line though!


	21. Sweet Paradise

 “Whis, Whis, you gotta try, uh…” Beerus looked down at the large platter before them, trying to find another of the thing he’d just eaten. “Try this! Try this!” He held out the small sausage on a stick out to Whis.

Whis took hold of Beerus’s hand, guiding it closer to his mouth before biting onto the sausage and lifting it from the stick.

 “So, you two on a honeymoon or something?” the stall owner asked.

 “Honey…moon?” Beerus asked. “Yeah, I’ll have one of those after I’ve finished this.”

Whis snorted. “No, my lord, it’s not edible; it’s what people do after marriage.”

 “Oh. Whis, you’ve gotta make me something and call it a honey-moon. I know it’ll be good.”

 “As you wish.” Whis turned back to the stall owner. “We’re just visiting. We haven’t been to a beach for a while, so we decided to pay this one a visit.”

 “Best beach,” Beerus volunteered. “Good drinks, good food. I like these little huts things.” They were sat under what was essentially a giant parasol, with a small kitchen contained in the centre, serving snacks.

 “I recommend the bar over there.” The owner pointed behind them.

 “Oh, we’ve just come from there,” Whis said. “Can’t you tell he’s a bit drunk?”

 “The juice was very good.” Beerus licked his lips. “Whis, let’s go back for more after.”

The owner silently excused himself to serve another customer who sat, fanning themselves in the blistering heat.

 “I don’t think so.”

Beerus nudged his head against Whis’s arm. “Please. Why not?”

 “You sleep for too long after drinking. I’d miss you.”

 “Aw, alright then. For you, my darling.”

Whis smiled and tickled the area under Beerus’s chin. “Thank you, my lovely little kitty.”

Beerus jerked his chin away. “Asshole, I’m not drunk enough that you can get away with names like that.”

 “Worth a shot,” Whis giggled.

 “Not that I can be mad when you’re _that_ cute.” Beerus pressed a finger into Whis’s cheek. "Wait. Do you giggle like that so I won’t get mad at you? You know it’s a weakness of mine.”

Whis shrugged. “Maybe.”

Beerus returned to the platter in front of them. “Don’t worry, I’ll sober up soon enough. Then maybe you’ll get me a Dreamy Creamy to take home.”

 

Whis found it impossible to say no to Beerus. Since when had he been so easily persuaded to give into his lord? Beerus slurped the last of his drink as they walked through the busy town; full of people bustling between shops, trying to stay out of the sun. He stopped in front of a shop with the blinds closed, nothing but red lights framing the window.

 “Sweet Paradise?” he read the sign and licked his lips. “I could use some dessert after the revelation that the honey-moon doesn’t exist.”

 “My lord, I don’t think it’s –“

But Beerus had already gone inside. Whis sighed, following him.

Beerus stood just inside the threshold, humming to himself as he looked around the shop, not having expected it to look like this – where were the promised sweets? A lady welcomed him as she passed with a box in her hands.

 “What a misleading name…” he whispered to himself. Still, he walked forward into an aisle to figure out exactly what they were selling.

There was something resembling a bird with wings in a glass case that caught his attention. It was in a line with several other phallic objects, and outside the case was a row of buttons. He pushed on the one corresponding to the bird-looking one, watching as it began to vibrate wildly. Then he pushed the other buttons, but none were as amusing as the first.

 “Isn’t it amazing?” Whis asked. “This is one of the first civilisations to harness electricity and convert it into a portable resource.”

Beerus nodded thoughtfully, not sure what the idea with making these things vibrate was all about. Surely there was a better use for electricity? He continued down the aisle and – _oh_. He was looking at a rather large rubber penis, unsure who needed something like this. Why would you even need a fake – _oh._ Then the vibrating – _oh yes._

 “Are you okay, my lord?” Whis asked, watching as Beerus stood there staring into space as he squeezed the fake penis.

 “Who even knew there were things like _this?_ ” Beerus mused. “And to be able to run a _shop_ dedicated to it?”

 “Mortals will find a way to sell you anything and everything.”

Beerus began to move on through the shop. He hadn’t half an idea about what most of this stuff was for, but he knew it would all make sex very fun indeed. He couldn’t ask Whis – he wouldn’t know, would he? And he had too much dignity to ask anyone working at the store, even though he was perfectly at liberty to never return, or at least wait until they’d passed on.

He picked up a book absent-mindedly. “Say, Whis…” At least the angel was still following him around, but he noticed that Whis wasn’t touching things the way he was – he wanted to touch all the things! Most of them were rubbery or squishy, and he got a lot of joy from that. “Would you - !” He quickly shut the book, having noticed he’d opened it to a page of someone spreading their asshole – not something he wanted to be seen with, even if all the other customers were busy hiding their heads. He cleared his throat. “Whis, would you entertain me if I bought something from here?”

 “As long as you’re not planning to tear me apart with one of those massive dildos, I’m sure I’d be willing.”

 “So that’s what they’re called? Where’d you learn that?”

 “The sign underneath them, along with the price.” Whis chuckled, “Were you too busy staring at them, my lord?”

 “You know I pay no attention to price,” Beerus said. “But, actually, I was hoping you’d agree to use one on _me_.”

Whis’s brows raised slightly. “I’m sure I can manage that.”

Beerus weaved back through the aisles, wondering which one he should choose.

 “Of course,” Whis sighed when he saw Beerus reach for a blue dildo. “Are you sure that’s not too big?”

He took hold of it, feeling the girth. “Okay, maybe.” He had to pick something at least as big as what he was packing though, otherwise he felt like he was being unfair to Whis.

Choice in hand, he navigated the shop once more, having committed the location of the other item to memory when he spotted it.

 “Oh my…” Whis’s cheeks were burning when he realised what Beerus was planning.

 “What did you think I meant?” Beerus asked as he inspected the harness.

 “I… I didn’t think you’d be involving me quite so…physically.”

 “Would it make you uncomfortable?” Beerus asked with concern. Whis had never expressed a desire for genitals, nor any regrets about his lack of. What if this was a weird request?

 “No, it was just unexpected.” Whis composed himself. “Yes, I think this will be rather thrilling.”

With that approval, Beerus moved forward to make his purchase, but was distracted once more. “What’s this? _Sweets?_ ”

The bottle that caught his eye was labelled ‘chocolate’ as well as ‘try me!’ He flicked open the cap and sniffed the contents before squirting some onto his palm.

 “Smells like chocolate, but never seen it look like _this_.” Certainly not the rich brown he was accustomed to.

Whis took the bottle and studied it while Beerus licked his hand clean. “Flavoured lubricant? How novel.”

 “Really?” Beerus mused. “Whis, I want you to know that I would lick any part of your body if it was covered in this.”

 “Aren’t you confident today? You never usually say this stuff when we’re not at home, and even then you always look so shy.”

Beerus gave a short laugh. “Firstly, I may still be a bit drunk from earlier, and secondly I’m standing here with a fake cock in my hand, surrounded by god knows what – like what are these beads even _for?_ I think I can tell you I’d suck your dick if you had one.”

 “The sentiment is appreciated.” He pushed Beerus forward. “I think I should get you out of here before you say more things you might regret later.”

 

**Ooo**

 

Beerus stretched out on the sofa, ass in the air. He’d become very good at asking Whis for sex. The angel never acted as if it was a bother, so Beerus never had any hesitations. However, he was slightly apprehensive this time.

His movement hadn’t stolen Whis’s attention from his book, so Beerus made a noise as a stretched again, watching to make sure Whis at least flicked his eyes in his direction.

 “Whis~”

 “What is it, my lord?”

He wiggled his hips, sure that that was more than enough to display his meaning to even the most thick-headed person.

Whis lowered his book, but didn’t close it. “Is it time? Have you had your fun?”

 “Yes.” He had decided to test his new toy out by himself first – to make sure he knew what to expect, and how he would be able to best guide Whis.

Whis closed his book, and Beerus got up, revealing where he’d hidden it.

 “Oh, you want to do it _here?_ ” Whis asked.

 “What? It’s not like we haven’t banged on the sofa before.”

 “It’s not the most comfortable, despite its usefulness for oral sessions. If you don’t want to use your bed, I’ll allow the use of mine.”

 “Really?” Beerus was aware that Whis possessed a bed, which he claimed to sometimes lie on just ‘to relax.’ So far there had been no reason to visit Whis’s room because he never seemed to go in there – when Beerus was awake at least. The thought of being allowed to even sit on Whis’s legendary bed was thrilling.

 “Come.” Whis began to lead the destroyer out and down the stairs.

The room in question was nearer the base of the tree, having been there since the previous destroyer’s occupancy. Beerus felt strange stepping into this foreign room; although it was on his planet, it certainly didn’t belong to him. Oddly, everything was perfect and dust-free, as if Whis was expecting visitors. Maybe he had planned to invite Beerus down here all along?

He was distracted by the array of tiny trinkets that lined several shelves on the wall, but a call from Whis drew his attention to the bed – a large four-poster with maroon curtains. Beerus climbed on top of the covers, feeling like he was sinking into the bed. Suddenly he believed that Whis might lie on it purely to relax – _he_ certainly would, given the chance.

Whis drew the curtains, Beerus noticing that the angel had already rid himself of everything but his robe. “What do you think?”

 “I could lay here all day,” he said as he nuzzled into the pillows. “Of course, I didn’t expect anything less from _you_. The curtains are a nice touch.”

 “No distractions.”

 “Doesn’t explain why _you_ would have curtains on a bed. I think I’d make more use of them.”

Whis rolled his eyes. “Four poster beds are very tasteful. The curtains are velvet, and very appealing to me. I do love a gorgeous fabric.”

 “Yeah, I know. Guess this is one way for you to own some.”

 “Precisely. It’s been a while since they were drawn.”

Beerus pulled Whis to him. “Tell me about that.”

 “It’s embarrassing,” Whis admitted, wishing he’d lied.

Beerus kissed his cheek. “Now you’ve got to tell me.”

 “Well, I was thinking about you…”

The destroyer’s ears perked up, a grin on his face.

 “Not like that!” Whis sighed. “I was thinking about how sweet you are, and I had to hide my face in the pillow a few times. I didn’t want you to walk in on me like that, so I closed the curtains in case you woke up and started looking for me.”

 “You know, I never think to look for you in here. I always assume you’ve gone off-planet – and I’m right 99% of the time. But, now you’ve told me that, I might start trying here first.”

Whis laughed. “Well, it’s not as if there’s anything to hide anymore. I think we’re comfortable enough to admit our thoughts and feelings openly. Or do you have a few more admissions to make?”

Beerus bent over, displaying his clothed ass to Whis, tail wrapping around the angel’s chest. “Just one; fuck me.”

 “Oh, I already knew that.” He ran a hand up Beerus’s thigh. “Are you ready?”

 “How much longer are you going to keep me waiting?”

Whis picked up the dildo Beerus had left on the bed and disappeared outside the curtains. Quickly Beerus began to undress himself, hoping to manage a sexy pose to welcome Whis with, but instead getting his foot caught up in his pants from trying to do everything so fast.

 “Did you need help?” Whis asked.

Beerus huffed and took his time freeing his foot. “No.”

He liked that Whis had left his robe on, leaving the reveal for later. Beerus pulled the angel down onto the bed, kissing him as he ran a hand down his body. He caressed the fake appendage between Whis’s legs, finding it turned him on, despite knowing there would be no reaction from Whis. The angel’s attentions were on Beerus’s nipples, forever amused by the way they hardened under his touch and made Beerus want for more. He recalled the time Beerus discovered that while angel nipples can be stimulated, they quickly revert back to their normal state and are not nearly as fun as the destroyer had hoped.

Beerus’s restlessness was evidenced by the fact he was desperately trying to hitch up Whis’s robe to gain more skin contact. Whis moved on, using a finger to tease Beerus’s cock.

 “ _Fuck…_ ” Beerus whispered. “You’re a right tease, you know.”

 “Don’t pretend this isn’t one of your favourite parts.” Whis ran his tongue slowly over his upper lip, watching the way Beerus’s expression changed, his eyes pleading. With a smirk Whis shuffled down the bed and began to lightly swirl his tongue over the head.

 “Lord almighty, Whis, you’re torturing me today,” Beerus moaned. “Just a couple of heavy-handed pumps is all I’m asking before you drive me insane.”

 “Obviously I want to prepare you a little,” Whis said, leaving Beerus with nothing to tease him. He went to grab hold of his cock, but Whis stopped him. “Maybe I should tie your hands? But as I was saying, I was thinking I’d try and give you an orgasm fuelled purely by prostate stimulation – ‘hands-free’, as they say.”

 “You’ve been _researching?!”_ Beerus choked.

 “Purely an exercise in understanding what you were hoping to gain from me doing this for you. Does it sound like something you’d enjoy?”

 “It sounds like absolute torture,” Beerus said. “And probably absolutely worth it.”

 “Shall I tie your hands?” He picked up the discarded sash which hadn’t quite made it off the bed. “Or can I trust you to be a good boy?”

 “Look, Whis, I love this idea, but if I want to touch myself, I don’t want you to stop me.” He sighed in relief as he finally got to stroke himself. “Maybe I’ll let you punish me properly in the future.” He pulled at Whis’s robe. “Can I take this off?”

 “If you wish. I thought I’d look a bit strange…”

 “As if. You never look bad in anything.” Even that time they went to Planet Trohs, where everyone was under four-feet tall, and the bathrobe Whis was handed ended halfway down his thigh, he still looked amazing. In fact, Beerus thought the tiny bathrobe helped to accentuate those long legs.

He took it slow, feeling the shape of Whis’s body as he pushed the robe further up. When it was off he took a moment to drink in the sight before him. Sure, the blue dildo wasn’t quite a match for Whis’s skin tone, but if it was a bit darker you’d never know. But that wasn’t what he was focused on – it was the harness. God, did he have a thing for leather now? Or was it just the way the straps dug slightly into the flesh? Maybe it was the fact Whis was wearing it for _him_. _Oh the specifics don’t matter!_ _It’s hot and I want him._

Beerus turned onto his front, ass towards Whis, tail out of the way, grabbing the end so it didn’t misbehave. Whis was on his knees, caressing Beerus’s ass as the destroyer ground back against the dildo.

 “Did you already prepare yourself?” Whis asked.

 “Of course not,” Beerus said, as if it was obvious he wanted Whis to do it. “Uh, I mean –“

 “Don’t worry, my lord, I was merely asking in case you had. I’m more than happy to.” The staff came out for a brief moment as Whis located the lube.

 “A-as long as you’re comfortable.” He’d found there wasn’t much Whis _wasn’t_ comfortable with, but he always felt the need to check.

 “I’m sure I’ve put my hand in worse places.” He slathered a generous amount of lube over his fingers. “If I can lick that ugly scrotum of yours, I think I can put my fingers in your ass.”

 “Wow, that’s har-!” Beerus inhaled sharply as a cold finger entered him. “Shhh.”

 “Sorry, should I go slower?”

 “Fuck, Whis, where were you keeping that lube? It’s fucking freezing.”

 “Is it?” Whis felt the bottle once more. “Feels alright to me. Perhaps you’re not used to having something cool inside you? I’m sure the feeling will be forgotten soon enough. How about you tell me if I can insert another finger?”

 “Go ahead. Your fingers are a lot slimmer than mine, so this is nothing.”

 “Did you have a hard time on your own?” Whis asked.

 “Put it this way, the dildo was easy after I tried three digits.”

Whis fondled the rubber appendage thoughtfully. “I see.” He moved his fingers in and out of the destroyer, stretching the muscle as he did so. “Tell me when you want me to move on.”

 “Whenever. I’m ready for you, honey.”

Whis rubbed the dildo between Beerus’s cheeks – an action the destroyer often liked to perform on Whis – quickly learning how best to move his hips in order to control his new dick. Carefully he guided it to Beerus’s entrance, slowly forcing it in, eliciting a groan from the man beneath him.

Slowly he began to work up a rhythm, figuring out how far he could pull back without the dildo slipping out, and how far he could push back in. It turned out he could go in all the way, until skin met skin. Just as he was falling into a good rhythm he heard a pleased ‘ooh’ from Beerus.

 “Did I hit _the_ spot?” Whis asked eagerly.

 “Yeah, just keep doing what you’re doing.”

With that encouragement, Whis continued to build up speed. He was finding this to be a lot more satisfying than anticipated – whether it would last, or if it was just the novelty of the first time, he had yet to discover. It was certainly preferable to having his own ass pounded. Yes, he would have quite a lot of fun now he was the one in charge of the pace.

Beerus moaned and gripped the sheets. His cock was screaming for a bit of love, but Whis’s idea of a hands-free orgasm? He wanted that more than he thought. Besides, he didn’t want any distractions from what Whis was doing to him. Certainly by not touching himself he was making sure he felt every thrust from the angel.

The way Beerus began to roll his hips told Whis all he needed to know. He let his hands drift from the destroyer’s hips, caressing the ass he was thrusting into, and running his nails up purple thighs. He knew what Beerus wanted, but he wasn’t going to give it without being asked. Instead he kept the same pace which he knew was slowly becoming unbearable for Beerus. Any moment now he expected to hear the word ‘faster’ slip from those lips.

Instead Beerus drowned his face in a pillow, moaning before saying something that was muffled to the point Whis couldn’t understand a word. It sounded as if Beerus moaned his name at the end, and Whis was disappointed he’d been robbed of hearing it with clarity.

 “Touch me, Whis,” Beerus begged.

 “I thought you said you would take care of yourself if needed?”

 “I want _you_. It’ll feel so much better…”

Whis traced Beerus’s pelvis as he gave in to the request. The guttural groan he received in return was very much worth it. His continued ministrations turned Beerus into a panting mess below him, begging for more, and yet not asking for anything faster or harder.

 “Are you almost there?” Whis asked, slightly concerned things weren’t progressing as expected.

 “Maybe,” Beerus panted. He was trying hard not to come and have this all end so quickly, but at the same time he felt like he was in such a state of bliss that any moment could be the last. How long could he hold out? Would Whis get bored?

Without a point of reference and such a cryptic answer from Beerus, Whis decided to pick up the pace. _That_ made Beerus a lot more vocal. There was a little bit of protesting, but that almost instantly switched to pleased moans and incoherent mumbling.

 “Whis…” Beerus tried to form the sentence he needed in his head before saying it, but god was he just so focused on how good it felt to have Whis ramming into him. He could already tell this was going to be one of his best climaxes – yes, he needed to tell Whis! “Whis…gonna come…” he moaned.

 “Are you?” Whis resumed toying with his cock.

 “Fuck, yeah… Your bed…?” He hadn’t quite figured out how he wanted to voice his concern. Whis was always such a clean person, and somehow even now he was worrying about dirtying the angel’s sheets.

 “Don’t worry, my lord.”

With that load off, he was finally ready to shoot his own. By now Whis was well-practiced at helping him ride out his orgasm; knowing when to slow down, and what to look for to indicate he should stop. This time it was decided that he should stop when Beerus’s tail, which had at some point wrapped around his waist, finally released him.

The destroyer was breathing deeply as he let himself sink into the mattress, Whis slowly sliding the dildo out as he did so. He was about to step out of the curtains and remove it, but Beerus called to him.

 “Where d’you think you’re going?” A finger motioned for Whis to lay down next to him.

 “I wasn’t going to be gone for long,” Whis said.

Beerus wrapped his arms around the angel’s neck. “I don’t want you to go at all. How was it?”

 “You seemed to enjoy it.”

 “It was fucking fantastic,” Beerus sighed in happiness. “But how was it for _you?_ ”

 “Quite enjoyable, all things considered. I could certainly have a lot more fun being the one on top.”

 “Good, because I want to do that over and over until I get bored,” Beerus said.

 “And then what?” Whis wondered. “I guess I’ll have to get you a vibrating one.”

 “God I bet that would feel really, _really_ good.” He bit his lip as he thought about it. “Hey, carry me to the bath.”

Whis said nothing, disappearing out of the curtains.

 “Hey -!”

 “I’m just taking this thing off.”

 “Leave it on,” Beerus said. “I think it’s sexy.”

 “I think you’ll find it’s disgusting now it’s all sticky and sweaty. I’m having that feeling you often have when you think cum is hot until the moment passes and it’s suddenly gross and unwanted.”

Beerus realised the wet he could feel on his stomach was certainly not desired any longer. “Point taken.”

A now dick-less, but still naked, Whis opened the curtains and scooped Beerus up in his arms.

 “But…” Beerus said quietly, “Does that mean you found it kinda hot?”

 “Insofar as I have the ability to, I suppose. There was a certain allure to the whole situation, but obviously your definition of ‘hot’ is not applicable still. As always, it is _your_ response that makes me want to do these things.”

 “Was my reaction…? Did it live up to your expectations?”

Whis nodded. “I hope to see you in such a state again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this on the last ‘legal’ fingers in his ass Sunday (according to Tumblr). I was cracking up.


	22. Future Fish

 “Planet Hachu?” Whis asked. It had been millennia since they’d visited. “What makes you want to go there?”

 “I had a dream,” Beerus said. “I’m not saying the dream is real, but who knows, it could be.”

His interest piqued, Whis asked, “What did you dream about?”

 “A fish. A fish so good that we brought it home.”

 “I suppose that could be a plausible outcome of a visit to Hachu.”

Beerus beamed. “So, one day off training to see if I’m a prophet now?”

Whis hummed loudly. “I’ll allow it - but don’t think this excuse will work again any time in the near future.”

 “Pfft – _excuse_. I’ll happily train when we get back.”

 “As if,” Whis snorted. “You’ll eat yourself silly and complain of a stitch two minutes in!”

Beerus conceded and instead insisted he’d work even harder tomorrow.

 

Planet Hachu had come a long way since their last visit. Technology was everywhere now – motor vehicles in place of carriages, neon signs replacing the old wooden ones, and people communicating on hand-held devices. Beerus barely would have recognised the place, but the palace stood at the foot of the mountain in the distance as it always had been.

 “Mummy, look!” A child pointed towards them.

Another child, older than the first, gave a disapproving look. “Aren’t you a bit old to be dressing up?” they asked Whis.

The mother pulled the child away. “Sorry about him. Is there something going on today?”

Beerus was completely taken aback by the whole situation, but Whis was calm as always. “I couldn’t say. We’re just visiting the area.”

This only seemed to confuse the mother even more. “I see. Well, enjoy your time here.” She hurried her children along, the younger one still trying to look back at them.

 “How strange…” Beerus said.

 “It would appear we’re not forgotten yet,” Whis said.

 “Excuse me.” An older person motioned for them to move out of the way of the doorway they’d been obstructing.

 “He didn’t look at us twice,” Beerus said as the man walked past them into the shop. He was clearly a court official – some things were still the same by the looks of things.

 “Were you looking for an invite to the palace?”

 “No, not at all. In fact, I’m glad he didn’t stop us.”

 “Well, my lord, I do believe we have ascended to the next level of godhood.”

Beerus cocked a brow. “I didn’t know there was such a thing.”

 “We have become legends on this planet, hence why that child recognised us, but did not believe it to be _us_. His mother thought that perhaps we were part of something – maybe they have some kind of celebration of the gods that we are included in? I’m sure there will be a few believers out there still.”

 “Oh, that’s fun,” Beerus said with a smirk. “I could really stir things up if I wanted, eh? Find a few believers, perform some, uh… I don’t think destroyers should be performing miracles, but you get my point. Make the legends _real_ again.”

 “If you wish, but perhaps you’d like to locate this fish first.”

 “Oh yeah – the fish!” Beerus looked around, trying to gain his bearings. His dream had been very much based on the Hachu he knew millennia ago, and that fact was quickly making him think his dream was nothing more than a dream. “But yeah, remind me to come and toy with the locals sometime in the near future.”

Whis wasn’t sure he wanted to set Beerus on that path, but he nodded in agreement anyway.

A lot of wandering ensued. Beerus clearly had no idea where he was going, but Whis was more than happy to follow until the destroyer got tired or bored. It was refreshing to walk around a planet he’d not been to for so long – he had specifically avoided coming to Planet Hachu alone due to his recognisability.

 “There!” Beerus pointed ahead at a glowing sign shaped like a fish.

Whis had his doubts, believing it was just a coincidence they’d finally stumbled across a place with a fish-shaped sign, but he didn’t voice them. He was getting a little hungry now, so anywhere would do, especially after walking past so many good-smelling restaurants.

 “So, are any of these fish worth taking home?” Whis asked once they’d sampled every species the restaurant had to offer.

Beerus sat there with a frown. “No.”

 “Was it just a dream then?”

A shrug was his answer. “In the dream I don’t think I ate any fish.”

 “So it might just be a nice fish to look at?” There were a few choice specimens Beerus had taken home due to their size or interesting patterns.

Another shrug. “I don’t know. It was a blue fish. I think.”

Whis sighed. “Do you remember _anything_ about this dream?”

 “Yeah! There was a fish on this planet and I took it home.”

 “Very helpful.”

 “Actually, you know what, _you_ weren’t there.” Beerus stood up and left without another word.

As soon as he was outside he wanted to go back and fetch Whis. It seemed a bit rude to just leave his angel like that, but he was so sure he was going to find this fish somehow, and Whis didn’t seem to be helping his thought process. Just having the other watching him was making him feel pressured to deliver on this dream’s contents.

The fish… Someone sold it to him. He didn’t find it out in the wild. So he figured he should stick to the city, maybe the markets – he needed to be near people. There was a row of stalls in the distance, and he headed towards them, memories of a time long past coming back to him. Once upon a time he would have been thrilled to see so many people around a stall – all a distraction for him to slip something into a pocket. Now he wished the place was deserted so he could find what he was looking for with ease.

People were pushing and shoving as they tried to get closer to the stalls, and Beerus was itching to shove someone himself, but he refrained, trying not to make a scene. He almost snapped when someone walked straight into him and began to pull at his arm, thinking they were trying to steal one of his gold cuffs, but he heard them whispering, “My lord, come this way.”

Perhaps now it was time to have fun with the locals? He followed obediently, wondering what kind of person had recognised him. The fellow in front of him wasn’t nearly as short as he first thought – he had been stooped over as he ran through the crowd, but now standing at full-height he was slightly taller than Beerus.

 “How do you know who I am?” Beerus asked.

 “You mistake me,” the man said, his voice raspy and hoarse. “I do not know you.”

 “Then why did you call -?” Before Beerus could finish, he was distracted by the man opening his cloak and taking out a fish sitting in a bowl. “THE FISH!” This was it! The fish from his dreams! The blue fish!

 “THE CAT!” the small fish yelled back.

Beerus looked offended and his expression hardened. “I dreamt about you. Supposedly I want to take you home with me, but I can’t see why that would be if the first thing you do is call me a cat.”

The fish shrugged. “Well your first greeting to me was ‘the fish,’ so I thought I’d do the same for you.”

Beerus couldn’t help but be surprised that the fish talked back. Its tone of voice when calling him a cat made it sound childish, almost reminding him of Grand Zeno. “So…”

 “You’re going to buy me,” the fish said.

 “And why would I do that?” Beerus asked. “I’ve met bigger talking fish than you, _and_ they were able to walk on two legs.”

 “This fish doesn’t just talk!” the man said. “This is an _oracle fish_! A prophet – a seer! She can see into your future and tell you what will happen before it does!”

 “I know what a seer is,” Beerus said. He was scrutinising the fish now, wondering how true this claim could be for a fish that looked rather small and pathetic.

 “Only ten are born in 500 years! And you are the lucky chosen one, should you choose to accept this oracle fish.”

 “And how much will that set me back?”

 “One million strings.”

Beerus had no idea how much that was, but surely a million of any currency was a lot. “Sounds expensive. How do I know this fish is the real deal? Predict me something.”

 “You’ll need to poop in 6 hours and 12 minutes.”

Beerus was about to tell Whis to set a timer, but Whis was nowhere to be seen. “That’s a bit of a shit prediction.”

 “I can give you something further in the future, but my master isn’t going to wait years to sell me.”

That was a fair point, and one he hadn’t considered now he lived outside of time. “Tell me anyway.”

 “You’ll become a god.”

Beerus looked disappointed. “I’m already a god.”

 “You’ll be worshipped.”

 “Well, I’d hope a few places still do.” It had been a while since he’d flaunted his godhood with the locals and made a name for himself.

 “How about… You’ll fall in love.”

 “Already there. Either you’re predicting in the past, or this is a generic prediction you could apply to anyone.”

The fish looked around. “Say, where is he? The blue man you’re supposed to be with?”

 “I don’t know.”

 “He’ll be here soon,” the fish answered her own question. “You _will_ buy me. I’ve seen it. I’ll live on your planet with the giant tree and you’ll even give me freedom of movement.”

Beerus tapped his chin in thought. Perhaps this fish was the real deal – how else did it know about Whis and what his planet looked like? No one apart from other gods ever visited. He looked up at the man trying to sell the fish. Was he a destroyer from another universe? He sure didn’t look the part.

 “So, why did you pick me to be sold to?”

 “Because you’ll pay the full amount to my master.”

 “Aren’t there other people who’ll do that?” Beerus asked.

 “Yes, but you’ll do it the quickest, and I’ll be well kept by you. If I foresaw a bad life with you as my new master then I wouldn’t suggest this, would I?”

How much did this fish know? Did it have its own agenda he should be worried about? “And how long do oracle fish live?”

 “About a century,” the man supplied.

 “A million strings for a century of service?” Beerus pondered.

 “Possibly something you could pass on to your children?” he suggested.

The idea of having children made Beerus baulk; the absurdity he wouldn’t outlast the fish came after. “I’d like the fish to last longer.”

 “Oh, I will,” she assured him. “I think you’ll find it hard to get rid of me. Oh – he’s here!”

Beerus looked around, but saw no one. “Whis?”

The angel stepped out of the shadows. “I see you’ve found a fish.”

 “Yeah, he wants a million strings for it.”

 “Do you want the fish?” Whis asked.

He did. But for some reason he felt reluctant to say yes. The whole idea of an all-seeing fish was utterly ridiculous, and yet it was not the strangest thing he’d seen in his lifetime. It seemed too easy to say yes and have such a useful creature about. Surely there was a catch? Maybe it really would die in a century and that would be that. Was there a rule about having a fish like this?

 “Am I allowed an oracle fish?”

Whis looked at the fish again. “I don’t see why not. Although I am disappointed this isn’t for eating.”

 “So you know about this kind of fish?”

 “Yes, it was actually with an emperor on this planet many moons ago that I first encountered one.”

 “So it’s the real deal?”

Whis nodded. “Yes, I’m sure it can predict something for you if you don’t believe it.”

 “Already done that. Buy it and remind me to ask you something in six hours.”

 

**Ooo**

 

The oracle fish sat in her bowl on the table, happily eating the crispy flakes Whis had provided, while Beerus stared at her.

 “So, you can predict things happening soon,” Beerus noted, referring to the fact she’d very accurately predicted his next toilet visit. “But how far into the future can you go?”

She shrugged. “When I said you’d fall in love, I meant in a few thousand years, so that’s a pretty long time, right?”

 “I’m a few million years old by now, you know, so really that’s not long at all.”

The fish blinked in surprise. “Well… I don’t think I can make predictions on quite that scale.”

 “But anyway, while Whis is out of the room, tell me about this falling in love I’m supposed to be doing.”

 “Oh, well, you fall in love.”

Beerus frowned. “Is that it? You can’t tell me anything else?”

 “What else is there to say?”

 “ _Who_ do I fall in love with? Is Whis going to be sad?”

She scrunched up her face as she tried to make out more details. “Looking that far ahead is hard! It’s someone important, probably – supreme someone or other.”

Beerus’s ears perked up. “ _Supreme?_ Are you sure that’s the word?”

 “Uh, yeah?”

 “Not grand? Or majesty? Or some other title like emperor or queen?”

The fish shrank back from the imposing figure leering over her. “I don’t know! I’m seeing the word supreme, okay?”

Beerus sat back, hand on his chin. “Interesting. So, I work with a few people – five of them, to be exact. Is one of them going to change any time soon?”

 “Uhh… Give me a minute!” she begged. “It’s really hard for me to predict things not directly related to you.”

 “Oh… Just _me_?”

 “No, I need to meet people. That’s how seers generally work. So asking me to predict things about people I’ve never met is hard. But if they’re indirectly related to you, maybe I can…”

Beerus tapped his nails on the table while he waited, but stopped when he realised he might be distracting the seer.

 “No, I don’t know,” she said eventually. “I can’t say for certain without more information.”

 “Okay, how about if I asked if I’ve already met this person I’m meant to fall in love with?”

 “No.”

Beerus nodded. “And how will Whis react?”

 “I can’t be _that_ specific. We oracle fish predict events, not emotions. But Whis will never leave you, so does that help _you_ predict how things will go?”

He didn’t know if he liked having an oracle fish. How useful was it going to be if it was predicting things he didn’t want to hear? “What if I decide not to fall in love and nullify your prediction?”

The seer saw the seriousness in his eyes, but couldn’t help but laugh. She immediately shut up when his grimace revealed those sharp teeth. “Sorry. People can’t help who they fall in love with, and I’ve been told that when a prediction like that is made, the person can’t change it.”

 “If I don’t go out or accept any visitors closer to the prediction time, then how can it come true?”

 “But you _have_ to go out! Your job requires it, right?”

Beerus huffed. “But I don’t have to see anyone when I do it.” And if it really was a kai she was predicting he would fall for, then all he had to do was zone out at the coordination meetings as he usually did.

Whis reappeared, a bowl on top of a handle in his hand. Beerus looked at it, wondering where on this planet he’d found that, and what its original purpose was. He watched as Whis sat down and set the strange item on the table, finding it hovered just above the surface of the marble. How did it do that? Had he been there when Whis had picked this thing up?

The fish seemed to have taken a liking to Whis – probably because he was the provider of food – and she spoke amicably with him. He was asking about the water she lived in, how often it should be changed, what kinds of food she ate. Then he helped her into this new bowl which gave her freedom of movement.

 “Wait, you predicted this earlier!”

She smiled. “Yep! Now I can come when you call.”

 “Well, I thought it a bit lonely to leave you in a stationary bowl somewhere,” Whis said. “And I couldn’t exactly put you in the aquarium with the other fish – they’re not as smart as you, and I was worried you’d accidentally be eaten.”

Beerus was racking his brain for the other thing she said earlier that stood out for him. “Oh! You said… I wouldn’t be able to get rid of you or something. As if you’d live as long as me. How’s that going to happen?”

 “You’re going to ask for my longevity.”

A simple answer, but the first thing that came to mind was him standing in front of Grand Zeno, asking him to make this fish immortal. And that was something he certainly _wasn’t_ going to do. “And how am I going to do that?”

 “You’ll ask a dragon.”

 _A dragon?_ He’d met a few dragons in his time, but none of them were in any position to give a gift like _that._ “Any more details on that?”

The fish shrugged. “I’m not a guidebook on how to make prophecies come true. But the split is five-two for the things you need to get for the dragon to grant your wish.”

Beerus looked even more confused. What kind of crazy quest was this fish trying to send him on? “You’re making less and less sense.” He went to shoot Whis a look, but found the angel was happily nodding along with what the seer was saying. “Whis… What do you know?”

 “I think you’re old enough to know now,” Whis said. “There exists in the universes a set of wish-granting balls – generally known as dragon balls due to the dragon that grants the wishes. It would appear the Seer is referring to the Super Dragon Balls, which are split between Universes 6 and 7. I can’t see what else the split would refer to.”

 “Wish-granting? Can I ask for anything?”

 “Pretty much. There are very few things I doubt the dragon would be unable to grant.”

Beerus hummed. “Could I ask for my home planet to be restored?”

 “I’m sure that’d be a simple wish,” Whis said. “I didn’t think you’d want that though.”

 “I don’t, but…” Beerus looked around before asking in a low voice, “Could I dethrone Grand Zeno?”

Whis raised his brows. “A dangerous thought. I wouldn’t like to guess if the dragon could do that. Grand Zeno is quite aware of these balls, and I’m sure the thought has occurred to him.”

 “Really?” Beerus said distractedly. “I didn’t think our _wonderful_ ruler thought much about anything. But I’m going to shut up now because talking about him makes me sweat even if he’s not here. I get this feeling like someone’s standing right behind me recording everything I say.” He looked around for good measure. “So, I’ll go get these balls and wish for you to stick around forever. Sounds like a plan.”

 “An adventure!” Whis clapped his hands. “It’s been a while since we did anything so fun!”

 “Sounds exhausting. Say, do you need to sleep?” he asked the Seer.

 “Yep.”

 “Just checking. This one here doesn’t.” He motioned to Whis. “Anyway, now you’re able to come for a stroll, why don’t you come and tell me more about my future.”

 

**Ooo**

 

 “And pray tell, little Miss Seer, what will happen today?” Beerus asked over breakfast.

Whis sighed. “You’ve got to stop using her for this. One day you’ll end up unable to do anything without her telling you to.”

 “It’s just a bit of fun, Whis, and it’s not like she tells me _everything_.”

 “Today…” the Seer hummed. “Nothing exciting.”

 “Really?” Whis asked, surprised. “I thought we’d find the last Super Dragon Ball today and _that_ would be exciting.”

 “About that…” Beerus said. “I’m tired of travelling, so I was going to ask for a day of rest. And as the Seer says, nothing exciting will happen today.”

 “I suppose _I_ could still go and find the last ball, and ask for the wish. In that way I could exclude you from the excitement – I am very much looking forward to seeing the dragon.”

 “No, _I_ want to see it too! You’re going to stay here with me.” Beerus got up and moved to sit in Whis’s lap. “You’re tired too, right? All this universe-hopping we’ve been doing.”

 “The prize at the end of this keeps me going.”

 “Okay, Seer, will Whis do anything exciting today?”

 “You two will spend the whole day together.”

 “Ta-da!” Beerus grinned and picked up a piece of toast, tearing off a bit to feed to Whis. “But I bet she’s not going to tell us what we’ll be doing.”

 “Why, of course she would tell you that you’ll be sleeping and I’ll be relaxing. What else could you possibly be planning when you’re too tired to travel?”

Beerus pouted. “I said I’m tired _of_ travelling.”

 “Shall we train then?”

 “Whiiis~” Beerus groaned.

 “Fine, but I want a massage first.”


	23. The Prediction

Beerus forgot about the Seer’s prediction for his love life. It didn’t trouble him after he sat through the first coordination meeting after the prediction was made. He’d sat through it thinking how there was surely no way he’d ever feel anything but slightly amicable with a kai. He was on the best terms with Nish still, but they’d never got together outside of work since the first and only time they’d gone sweet shopping. South had always wormed her way out of spending time with Beerus, and he wondered if that was due to that disagreement over Planet Sarkay they’d had. In the end he’d stopped trying to get to know his kais; there didn’t seem to be any point if they weren’t interested.

That changed several meetings later when he met the new North Supreme Kai. It took Beerus a few hours to get over the fact that none of the other kais had informed him that one of his life-links had died while out on the job, but it was at the same time reassuring that Whis was right; he wasn’t going to be dying via the link any time soon. The new kai at the table looked well-adjusted to her new position already – not nervous or worried in the slightest. And for a kai, she seemed rather intimidating to Beerus. Perhaps it was because she was taller than the others, and not as young as when they had started. Or maybe it was her blue hue paired with the white hair typical of kais that specifically made Beerus want to respect her. She certainly looked part-angel to him, even though he knew she wasn’t.

He certainly didn’t plan to pay any particular attention to this newcomer, but she wanted to get to know him.

 “I’d like to spend just a little more time with you,” she said after the meeting. “I’d like to learn about destroyers first-hand, and not rely on my friends’ impressions of you.”

Of course, he wasn’t going to refuse; it was nice to have someone interested in his work, especially considering its nature. And of course, he had a free, instant taxi for the day.

It was maybe an hour into his time alone with this kai – Enlil – that he realised this was a mistake. _This_ was what the Seer had been talking about. Sure, he wasn’t head over heels for this kai _yet_ , but if it was going to be any of them, it was going to be this one. And god, she was actually really easy to get along with, very aesthetically pleasing to the eye, and – he was so fucked.

As he sat sharing some of his favourite dishes on Planet Ecir with her, he wondered where he went from here. Part of him wished he’d never asked the oracle fish for any elaboration on that particular prediction. He had to assume that whatever happened after today, that this was not going to be a one-off meeting with her. But if _he_ was supposed to be the one who initiated the contact, then he just wouldn’t. Just nullify the prediction. Not that he’d ever managed to prove the Seer wrong… So maybe she asked after him… He’d just say no! There was a first time for everything, and that included proving a fish wrong. How hard could it be?

Impossible.

He didn’t want to spurn the only other proper friend he could have other than Whis. So naturally he’d agreed to show her more and more planets – places he had better knowledge of than the other kais because he spent his time actually enjoying what the planets had to offer, rather than just observing. And she was into that – being amongst the people.

They went out into the universe, and had fun, and everything was fresh and new to Beerus. All the while, he promised himself that this was nothing more than showing a colleague the ropes – kind of. But she made it difficult to keep it that way. She wasn’t like Whis used to be at the start; she was happy to grab his hand and lead him over to the really good-smelling food stand, not afraid to hug him in thanks for their latest outing, and generally just more touchy-feely than he was used to from anyone that wasn’t being paid to be near him.

Was it love, or had it just been too long since he’d made a new friend?

Was it love, or did he just think it was because the Seer had planted the thought in his mind?

 

**Ooo**

 

 “You’ve been avoiding me,” Whis noted one evening.

 “What are you talking about?” Beerus asked. “If I was avoiding you, would I be here right now?”

 “Obviously you can’t _completely_ avoid me, but recently you haven’t been your usual self. You’ve not kissed me for over a month for a start.”

 “Oh? I didn’t realise you’d been counting the days.”

 “As a concerned guardian, I must ask, is everything okay, my lord?” Whis wanted to reach out and take Beerus’s hand, but for the first time in a long time it didn’t feel right to do so. “And as your friend, I ask that you tell me the truth.”

Beerus wanted to bury his head in his hands and tell Whis everything, but it was so hard. Because Whis wasn’t just a guardian, and he wasn’t _just_ a friend. But he probably already knew, right? Whis was an excellent sleuth when required, not that he often needed the aid of his staff as he was perfectly capable of reading people and situations by himself. So if Whis already _knew_ , then Beerus not speaking up about it was only going to make things worse.

 “Whis, I…” He hadn’t planned to say anything tonight. God, the words were about to tumble out unprepared. This could be messy. “Look, the Seer predicted I would fall in love with someone who wasn’t you, and I… Well, you know, the Seer is pretty good at predicting things. _Accurately_. And yeah, maybe I’m a bit – uh – it’s not serious or anything.” Maybe that idea would fly if it was a mortal… “I’m just having a bit of fun? It’s… I couldn’t help it! I just… I still love you, Whis, but… I like her too?” He let out a groan. “I’m sorry, Whis.”

The angel sat there listening, a small smile on his lips. “Thank you, my lord, for telling me.”

 “You’re not…mad?”

 “The Seer told me of this many years ago, so I’ve had a long time to come to terms with it. And, really, I am glad.”

The question marks were almost visibly emitting from Beerus as he wondered how in the universe Whis could say that with a straight face.

 “My lord, as much as it pleases me that you and I have such a strong bond, I would not like to stunt your growth in this area by being the sole object of your affections. While you are a god and it is not necessary for you to form such relationships, I believe it would be beneficial for you to dabble in such things so that you can better understand mortals and their attachments.”

 “But –“

 “Although you _were_ once mortal, you will find that in time you will begin to forget certain aspects.”

 “No, I meant, I have you…”

Whis nodded. “Yes, and our relationship is becoming…” The word ‘stale’ came to mind. “A normal feature of our lives. It no longer has the romantic vibe it first had. We really have become the old couple I spoke about. So, with that in mind, it’s good for you to feel love’s bite again, fresh, with someone new.”

 “Aren’t you…jealous?” He didn’t want to ask the question, but he couldn’t beat around the bush with this one. He needed to _know_. “Whis, please, tell me your feelings.”

 “Since when have I come across as a jealous man? Honestly, my lord, I thought you knew me well enough by now.”

Beerus shrugged. “I’ve seen the way you look at me when I get an extra potato on my plate.”

 “You can fall in love all you like, and in the end, when whoever that is eventually tires or expires, I shall be here waiting for you. You’ve already said you still love me, so why should I be jealous? I view this as a break – a holiday – and when things return to how they were, it’ll feel fresh again.”

It wasn’t a satisfying answer to Beerus. He _wanted_ Whis to be jealous deep down. If Whis had admitted that, then he would know that what Whis felt was real. But this situation only served as a reminder that Whis had done this before; he knew not to be overly attached to his destroyer. Beerus was just another one that would eventually move on. He thought this conversation would hurt Whis, but it ended up hurting him more. Best not to dwell on it, he decided.

 “So, tell me about her,” Whis said. “This kai who’s far more interesting than the rest. And don’t leave out any details – I love a good bit of gossip!”

 “Huh? You’re not going to go comparing notes with your siblings, are you?” Beerus asked. “Wait – it’s not… _frowned upon_ to…to do anything like this, is it?”

 “Much like with angels and destroyers, there are no rules with kais and destroyers. However, I still suggest you maintain an air of secrecy. It’s just better for everyone if you at least pretend you’re trying to keep it under wraps.”

Beerus sighed in relief. “Well, let me tell you about Enlil.”

 

**Ooo**

 

 “So, how long’s it gonna last?” Beerus asked. “This whole being in love thing?”

The Seer shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll be able to have a guess once it’s started.”

Beerus sat up from his slouched position. “Do oracle fish lose their powers over time, or have you just not been paying attention?”

Another shrug. “I think I’m the first immortal oracle, so who knows? What’ve I missed?”

He buried his face in his hands. “I guess it’s finally time to find out what oracle fish tastes like.”

 “What?! No, no! I –“ She concentrated hard. “No, it’s still ages in the future!”

 “You said a few thousand years! And it’s been a few thousand years, and this kai is –“ he faltered, “She’s very… I like her!”

 “Well, she’s not the one I foresaw.”

That stopped Beerus in his tracks. _Not the one? There’s_ another _one?_ “What do you mean by that? Do you actually see stuff? What does this other kai look like, then?”

He wanted to squeeze the air out of her when she shrugged again. “I don’t know. Shorter than you.”

Beerus took a moment to pause and think. “I know you can see more. You knew what we looked like before you met us, and you even described my planet. So give me _details_.”

 “I’m just a fish!” she cried. “Whoever this person is is too far in the future for me to see. I could see you because you were my immediate future. But this person… I can just see them with you, and they’re probably shorter.”

 “ _Probably?_ You seemed certain a moment ago.”

 “I mean, maybe they aren’t? Maybe the image I’m getting is of them sitting or crouching? I don’t know! I can’t resolve it!”

Beerus tapped his chin. “I see. But you know it isn’t Enlil you saw, because otherwise you’d be able to see this person?”

 “Yes.”

 “You know, I’ve been driving myself round the bend with your prediction and whether –“ He huffed. “Forget it. It’s not worth moaning to _you_.”

 “You like her though, so what’s the problem if my prediction was actually further in the future?”

 “After living with us for millennia, you should be able to answer that for yourself.” He got up. “Don’t ever mention this prediction to me again. No more predictions involving romance unless I specifically ask, understand?”

 “Y-yes, Lord Beerus!” She sighed in relief, glad that today was not the day she’d be destroyed. For that was the only thing she knew she’d never be able to predict.

 

**Ooo**

 

Things with Enlil came to an end with time. She grew into her role as Supreme Kai, becoming more and more like the others with each visit - less interested in participating in mortal affairs, preferring to watch them. She even went as far to say that Beerus was meddling too much when he was masquerading as a god among the people of Planet Esuom. That’s when he knew things were coming to an end for them.

But it wasn’t just their outings – even back home, she seemed to lose interest in him now she knew pretty much everything a kai needs to know about a destroyer. He feared he’d let her know a little too much about himself, because she was almost Whis-like in the way she knew exactly how to please and displease him. And so she knew how to draw out the end for them both, with less frequent visits until one day they stopped, but he didn’t notice until he realised he was at a coordination meeting and hadn’t seen her since the previous one.

How easily she’d let him down… He was thankful for that, and glad it was over. It had sure been a bit strange to know one kai far more intimately than the other four. For the past few meetings he’d made sure to interact with her as little as possible lest it become obvious to the other kais. Did they know? He hoped to never find out.

 

It was several million years before there was a new kai at the table. The Grand Supreme Kai retired in favour of promoting the East kai to his position, and having the apprentice take the now-empty East chair. Immediately Beerus had pulled Whis up about this – why were kais allowed to retire? To which Whis kindly pointed out that Beerus hadn’t aged a day compared to the kais he’d started off working alongside.

The Seer’s prediction was forgotten by now, so when Beerus met the new East Supreme Kai, he didn’t think anything of the fact he was slightly shorter than himself. Not that the prediction would ever remotely apply to this kai; Beerus didn’t like him in the slightest. It was a shame that he was now the youngest kai, so Beerus wouldn’t be seeing the back of him for many years to come.

 

**Ooo**

 

The new Supreme Kai of the East hadn’t been in the post for long at all if Beerus remembered correctly, but this turn of events was more than welcome.

“Hey, Enlil,” Beerus whispered for the kai to come aside. “What happened?”

 “What do you mean?”

 “Why’s there another new East?”

She looked back at the table with confusion. “Oh!” She laughed. “There was an incident with a witch not long after the last meeting. It’s unfortunate, but it’s only his appearance.”

Beerus was a bit lost. “A witch? I didn’t know there were witches powerful enough to enchant kais.”

 “Oh no, she took one of his potara,” Enlil explained.

Of course, in the time he’d spent teaching Enlil about destroyers, she had also taught him something about Supreme Kais. Beerus nodded with fascination at the idea that a kai could be tricked so easily. Well, it was no loss – he never liked the guy anyway. This incident only proved that Beerus was right to think he was unfit to bear the title of supreme.

East became even more insufferable now he was physically old. And his aged voice grated on Beerus every time he spoke. Not only that, but now he was saying that Beerus should contribute more during the meetings! He gritted his teeth, not wanting to explode in front of the others, especially now he was on first-name terms with two of them.

Instead he grumbled to Whis on the way home. “I mean, what does he _expect_ me to say? Obviously, I’ll just destroy all the planets, doesn’t matter to me! What if one of them has slightly more plants than the other? Or if the summer is 2 degrees hotter? Let’s just get rid and _he_ can start again and make more planets. I’m sure they’ll be _so_ much better.”

Whis couldn’t help but snigger. “I’m proud of you, my lord.”

 “ _Proud?!_ ” Beerus scoffed. “Why?”

 “Firstly, because you didn’t lose your temper when he was pushing your buttons, but also because you’re developing a very traditional destroyer trait; disliking new kais.”

 “Eh? What?” Beerus was confused. “What about Enlil?”

 “She was not nearly as new to life as this new East Supreme Kai was when he started. I’ve watched my destroyers detest their new kais in the past. Once you live long enough, seeing someone so new and inexperienced is a real frustration, isn’t it?”

 “Ye- wait, are you…?” Beerus huffed. “So, you don’t want me to die too soon because you feel the same way, right?”

 “As I always tell you, my lord, I enjoy your company very much. But yes, the early days are always a struggle. Rather mind-numbing occasionally.”

 “You did well to hide it.”

 “Did I? I’m glad.”

 

**Ooo**

 

Beerus dragged the sword across the Sacred World of the Kais, not caring for the way it clinked as it caught the rocks.

 “Okay, you’ll have to repeat that again,” Grand said. “Just so I know I heard it correctly.”

 “Look, just keep this sword, okay?” Beerus spotted a suitable location and took off.

 “Yes, yes, but just to be clear – East isn’t coming back?”

Beerus motioned to the sword. “No, he’s in here now.”

 “I see, and _why_ exactly did you do that?”

They landed on top of a tall rock formation. “Because I never liked him, and we had a disagreement.”

 “Over _what_ , exactly?”

Beerus ceremoniously plunged the sword into the rock and smiled down at it. “Nothing that concerns you. Just get yourself a new kai – a nice one this time.”

 “And why a sword?”

 “Stole it from a passer-by.”

Grand frowned and watched as Beerus took off again, not willing to explain any more. He gave the sword a tug, but it was well-wedged into the rock. Using a bit more force, he pulled again, but it was no use. Quickly, he flew after Beerus.

 “I must ask, is it possible to free him?” Grand asked.

Beerus shrugged. “I hope not.”

 “Oh…” He guessed he should be lucky that East hadn’t been destroyed on the spot for whatever argument has occurred. It was good to know that Beerus wouldn’t kill a kai, even if there were four more. That made him wonder if a destroyer killing a kai would pull at the strings of the life-link in a way that automatically killed the destroyer. Why, if he was Grand Zeno, he sure would have put a clause in like that to punish insolence. “Say, Mr. Whis, may I have a word?” he asked as the angel came into view.

 “No,” Beerus said. “No grilling my attendant for information. Just forget about that asshole and get yourself a new one.”

Grand folded his arms in defiance, but there was little he was willing to do. He wished the old Grand Supreme Kai was here… At least he had a slightly better handle on the destroyer. Not that Beerus had ever done anything quite like _this_. Oh, maybe Enlil – but Beerus was already gone in a flash of bright light.

He stood there, defeated. Still he called for his fellow kais; they had a sword to pull out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’ve read one of my long BiruShin fics you’ll know I had this idea that Beerus loved a kai before Shin, so like obviously I had to shoehorn that idea into this fic >.>”


	24. Galaxy Hide and Seek

The sound of voices drifted down the corridor as Beerus made his way to the dining room. The familiar lilt of Whis’s voice could be heard, but the other voice… It wasn’t the oracle fish for sure, but he was sure he knew that voice. As he rounded the corner he realised who was sitting in his dining room, and wished that it had been a total stranger instead.

 “Gr-gr-gr- good morning, Grand Priest!” Beerus shouted across the room. He bowed, causing him to notice he was still in his nightgown, and this was probably bad etiquette. “Please excuse me!” He hurried back out of the room before either angel could say anything.

 _Why is the Grand Priest here?_ It couldn’t be good, right? When was a visit from the higher ups ever good? And when did the Grand Priest ever come _in person?_ What couldn’t be handled with a call? Wait – what had Whis looked like just now? He knew Whis had been sitting right there, but in his sudden panic he hadn’t even glanced at his attendant for a clue as to whether this was good or bad. He’d certainly become lax about asking the Seer for predictions recently. What if she couldn’t see things involving people as divine as the Grand Priest? He’d have to ask about that at some point.

As he pulled on his shoes another thought occurred to him. _What if he’s just here to see Whis?_ If the Grand Priest came to see Beerus, then surely Whis would have woken him immediately? Although he was sure the Grand Priest had more time to waste than most in the universe, he got the feeling that the angel kept a strict schedule. _I mean, a father visiting his son isn’t too out of the ordinary, right?_ Not that Beerus actually believed it worked quite like the familiar relationships he was used to.

Mere minutes later he reappeared, never having changed that quickly unaided in his life. “You humble us with your presence, your – your holiness!” _His holiness?_ Did he sound completely ridiculous right now? His attempt at composure was quickly falling apart.

 “Please relax, there is no need to be so formal,” the Grand Priest said with a disarming smile.

Yes, what was there to fear from this man? He wasn’t Grand Zeno, after all. But the fact that anything he did would get back to Zeno made him sweat. “So, er – what can we do for you today?” He glanced down at the table, checking that Whis had offered refreshments – _obviously_ he had.

 “I’ve come to inform you of Grand Zeno’s wish to host a hide and seek tournament,” the Grand Priest explained. “It shall begin in ten tics. You will be expected to come to the palace for the official countdown to the start of the tournament.”

 “Are there any rules I should know about?” Beerus asked, already worried about how this was going to turn out.

 “You can choose to hide anywhere in your universe, but you may not hide in another universe. Due to the size of the universes and the amount of time this could take, you will be expected to reveal yourself if the seeker calls your name and you can hear it.”

 “And who will the seeker be?”

 “Grand Zeno, of course.”

Beerus was glad he’d taken a seat, because there’s no way his knees would have supported him with that revelation; the rule made a lot more sense now.

 “Of course, should Grand Zeno tire of the role of seeker, one of you will be nominated to continue in his place. Until you are caught, or otherwise called upon by either Whis or myself, you are to remain in your hiding spot. It is forbidden to change your hiding spot during the game.”

So it was going to be like a boring holiday? He wasn’t going to run that thought by the Grand Priest, but it sure sounded that way – he wasn’t going to be able to do any work if he had to remain in one place. “I understand.”

The Grand Priest finished his tea and stood up, Beerus standing too as if he wasn’t allowed to be seated while the angel stood. “Thank you for the tea, it was good to catch up.” Beerus believed he actually witnessed a genuine smile from the Grand Priest, but it looked awfully similar to one he’d seen earlier. Maybe he really was nicer than Beerus gave him credit for?

 “Please, feel free to drop by anytime.” Whis returned the smile with an incline of his head.

Beerus bowed, not sure if he had to add anything. He’d much rather Whis did the talking for him if he could get away with it.

 “We shall see each other soon enough. Until then, goodbye, gentlemen.”

Beerus watched in awe as the Grand Priest disappeared through a portal of light. Certainly not as flashy as the beam Whis travelled with, but this had a more mystical air to it. His shoulders sagged and he slumped back into his chair, exhausted by the short visit.

 “Some tea, my lord?”

Beerus nodded. “How come you didn’t wake me when he arrived?” The man had clearly been on business, so why wait?

 “My father has strict ideas about when it’s appropriate to speak with his children, and as he’s almost always on the job with Grand Zeno, that would be almost never. As he was out on this errand, and you were asleep, he took the opportunity for a short catch-up.”

 “Couldn’t he have just asked for a quick chat after?”

Whis shook his head. “He wouldn’t take time for himself like that.”

 “What were you talking about?”

 “You, me, us. Nothing much.”

Beerus narrowed his eyes, wondering what exactly Whis meant by that.

 “As much as he pretends not to take an interest, the Grand Priest does like to know how the destroyers are progressing, and whether we get along, and of course, how his children are faring.”

He wanted to ask if the Grand Priest _actually_ cared, but thought the question could offend Whis. The two didn’t seem particularly close, but who really knew how things were between the angels? “Does he… _know_ , though?”

 “I told him we get along as well as I did with the previous destroyer.”

 _That’s a terrible answer!_ It required knowledge Beerus didn’t possess about what the Grand Priest knew about them. Well…perhaps Whis didn’t even know the answer for certain. He decided to drop the subject. “Say, it’s been a while since the last gathering thing.”

 “Yes, it’s certainly overdue, but I suppose he was more than satisfied with the tea party with the Supreme Kais.”

 “What?” He hadn’t heard about that.

 “Yes, well, you aren’t particularly chatty with your kais anymore, are you?”

Beerus shrugged. “Guess not. A tea party’s the last thing I’d be asking about. But, still, isn’t it a bit strange for the Grand Priest himself to come all the way out here to tell us?”

Whis shrugged. “We have a whole ten tics to prepare, so perhaps not. It may have also been an excuse to see us.” Whis hummed. “Maybe Grand Zeno is sleeping before the game begins, meaning the Grand Priest had time to come and see us individually?”

 “I don’t know, still seems fishy to me.”

 “You know, he often appears to the Supreme Kais to impart information.”

Beerus thought about the previous gatherings – the arm wrestling tournament, the strangest picnic he’d been to where he had to bring a teddy bear – usually the Grand Supreme Kai told him about these things, but not always. “Why’s that? Surely it should be us who get the info from him – y’know, so he can see his children and all.”

Whis raised a brow at the ridiculous notion that a destroyer would be better suited to being told such important details. “Kais listen diligently, _in silence_ , they do not talk back, ask minimal questions, and are able to immediately pass on the information to you.”

 “Point taken.”

 “And I must say, Universe 1’s kai is _very good._ I’m sure the Grand Priest uses him as a means to tidy up his bullets points when delivering Grand Zeno’s messages to the other universes.”

 “Oh, been taking trips to over universes while I was asleep, have you?”

 “Well, my lord, you’ve missed a couple of centuries at times. I couldn’t help but do a little spying from time to time – once I’d finished spying on our own universe of course!”

 “Are they all good?”

 “All the universes?” Whis asked. “Not all of them.”

 “No, I meant all the kais,” Beerus said. “You tend to always have one weaker than the others.”

Whis was silent for a moment, which Beerus took to be consideration, but realised he’d been quite wrong. “There’s only one kai in Universe 1.”

 “What? Isn’t that a bit weird?”

 “Actually, my lord…”

 _Oh no, there’s the look of concern!_ On anyone else this expression wouldn’t faze Beerus, but on Whis it made him feel cold.

 “…We’re the last universe to have five Supreme Kais.”

 “Not to say what again, but _what?!_ When did Champa lose his? How? Why didn’t he tell me?”

 “I shouldn’t have said anything,” Whis whispered.

 “No, come on, I want to hear about it. Am I going to lose my kais suddenly?”

 “I don’t know. I don’t have information from the other universes about this. It’s all been rather quiet – kais simply haven’t been replaced by the sound of it. Of course, no one dares to petition Grand Zeno for more, or even to ask why.”

 “I don’t like it,” Beerus said.

 “You know Grand Zeno, he sometimes decided there’s too much of something in the universe.”

Beerus would never forget the announcement of the erasure of six universes. No warning, no discussion. “I guess five kais to one destroyer is quite an unbalanced ratio.”

 “Perhaps he merely seeks to preserve balance in all aspects.”

 “But, Whis, this… This endangers _me_. The fact that more than one kai has died accidentally is enough to set me on edge. When there’s only _one_ left? I might have to keep them locked up.”

 “I’m sure that won’t be necessary. I hear Fuwa – that would be Universe 6’s Supreme Kai – has an attendant to keep him safe. Much like I do with you. I could arrange for the same thing when we eventually fall in line with the other universes.”

Beerus still didn’t like it, but he agreed. “That’d put my mind at rest. A little.”

 “But I think you should focus on the task at hand. You won’t be around to see any kais if you don’t please Grand Zeno in this game.”

For a short moment Beerus had forgotten all about the fact he had to see the little brat in 10 tics. “Have you got an idea for a hiding place? I probably shouldn’t make it too hard, right?”

 “Neither too hard nor too easy. You don’t want Grand Zeno to think you weren’t trying hard enough to hide.”

 “Okay, but I’ll be there for a while, so let’s pick somewhere nice. I’m thinking a planet with a nice climate – nice and warm so I can sleep under the stars. Maybe in a forest where I can find a good branch.”

 

**Ooo**

 

Of course, the rule that you had to respond when your name was called was easy enough to follow. If you were awake.

Beerus had fallen asleep in his tree. A very comfortable tree where he was shaded from the harsh sun, but enjoyed all the benefits of the warmth that came from it. So when Quitela (Grand Zeno had tired after finding two destroyers) had walked through the forest, calling for him, he hadn’t responded. Whis lamented that Beerus’s snores must have been carried off in the wind.

The angel had eventually come for him, explaining that Grand Zeno was mad that he’d broke one of the few rules, and that the other destroyers – and even the Grand Priest – were busy trying to placate him.

Beerus barely had the strength to stand as Whis told him how things had gone. He wanted to beg Whis to take him home, not the palace. Maybe it would be better to end his life here on his own terms? He was sure his destruction awaited him back at the palace.

The other destroyers might as well have thrown daggers at him the way they stared when he stepped into the room. Beerus had to kneel in shame while the other destroyers watched as Grand Zeno berated him. But they’d done a good job in making Zeno happy again, and all Beerus had to do was show the omniking the tree in question, and he agreed it was a good tree. Once he’d sat in it and had a little doze himself, he destroyed the tree so that no one else could ever enjoy it again.

In the weeks following there were many visitors from the other universes. Beerus fought them all, enjoying the chance to train with people at his level that weren’t Whis. These days all mortals were so far below him that the idea of finding a decent opponent was nothing more than a fantasy. Champa didn’t fight him though, instead demanding that Beerus take him out for the best desserts Universe 7 had to offer. In the end, that didn’t end up being much of a punishment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Buu incident? I’m not going to talk about it in this fic. I already did that in my other fic, Loveless World.


	25. My List To You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic began in September with an author note suggesting the pocky game. I originally intended that to be their first kiss, but I got side-tracked. So, this one is for you, past-me!!

 “Whis?”

The angel stood in the kitchen, cupboards all open, just staring ahead.

 “Oh, my lord, did you need something?” Whis asked, not used to Beerus ever being in the kitchen at the same time as him, but after the saiyans arrived, there weren’t many other places Beerus could have total privacy. Fortunately, Whis had made the kitchen absolutely off-limits to the saiyans from the moment they arrived; not only had he seen how poor Vegeta’s cooking was, but he was also well-aware they could consume as much as the destroyer.

 “Yes, _you_ , actually.” He stepped forward and slid his arms around Whis’s waist, nuzzling into the angel’s back.

 “Oh? Anything I can do for you?”

 “I miss you,” Beerus muttered into his back.

 “Sorry, have I been ignoring you? Do you need more attention?”

 “What were you doing in here?”

 “Finding out how much food we _don’t_ have.” Whis narrowed his eyes. “Are you trying to butter me up so I’ll slip you a little something extra?”

 “Nothing like that, my love. I, uh… Well, I…” Beerus squeezed the angel tighter in place of the words he was missing. “Whis, are you bored of me?”

That threw the angel; he was sure Beerus had come for another reason. “What makes you think that?”

 “I heard you offered my job to Goku _and_ Vegeta. You must be pretty desperate to get rid of me.”

 “Of course not. It’s not often we’ve come across mortals half as qualified as those two. In fact, they’re more ready than you were when you first became a destroyer.”

 “Thanks, great to hear.”

Whis turned to face Beerus, gently caressing the back of his head. “Come, my lord, don’t be offended. I’m merely looking for a back-up in case I _do_ lose you. I certainly don’t want a repeat of the manner in which I found you.”

 “Yeah, but I’m _how old_ now? I’m never gonna die, right?” Beerus laughed, but well aware that he had been very lucky so far.

 “Ever since our universe fell in-line with everyone else with a single Supreme Kai, I’ve been on the look-out for a back-up. At first I thought I could trust you to look after him, but… Well, you’ve been a bit lax recently.”

 “Yeah, but he hasn’t died yet, has he?”

 “Hmm, two close calls with the _same_ entity? I’d file for negligence.”

 “Oh, come on! It was _you_ who said I shouldn’t get involved with Buu!” Beerus huffed. “And it was _you_ who didn’t wake me up when _I_ was in danger.”

 “I was only obeying –“

 “I mean, what else am I supposed to think, Whis? Seems like you’re more than ready to get rid of me. Were you eyeing up the saiyans since then?”

 “Perhaps I did think about it…” Whis admitted. “But I want you to know that I didn’t know until after the fact. I’m sure the Supreme Kai already explained it, but the ‘Buu debacle’ was over in a matter of days, and I wasn’t notified of it. I don’t keep tabs on Buu or the Supreme Kai.”

 “Maybe you should.”

 “If that is your wish. I would much prefer the kais to contact us if they require assistance. In any case, it is not for _me_ to meddle in these affairs.”

 “I know,” Beerus whispered. Sometimes he had a hard time remembering that Whis _wasn’t_ everything he wanted him to be. “But they’re fun, right? The kids, I mean.”

 “ _The kids?!_ ” Whis laughed. “I suppose that’s one way to view them. Yes, they are quite amusing. And, admittedly, it’s also fun to watch them wind you up occasionally.”

 “Because I’m boring otherwise?”

Whis tilted Beerus’s chin up to stop him looking away. “I’m not bored of you, my lord. I’m merely offering to keep one of them in Otherworld for as many thuds as it takes for you to die. But neither of them seem overly keen on the idea…”

 “And… Would you love them too?”

 “What a horrible question,” Whis said. “Do you really want me to answer that?”

Beerus grimaced. “Yes and no.” He burst into a laugh, breaking the tension. “Come on, Whis, I mean, _Goku_. Could you imagine – I mean -!” Beerus burst into another fit. “How’d he get a wife? Let alone _two_ kids?!”

 “Do you not find Goku to be a sweet and gentle soul at heart?” Whis asked.

 “He’s such a goofball! I just can’t imagine him being serious about…” Beerus coughed and straightened up. “You know what, you’re right. I don’t want to know. But Vegeta…”

Whis kept eye contact with Beerus, not giving away his thoughts.

 “I’d fuck Vegeta,” Beerus said, completely seriously.

 “My lord!” Whis was shocked, not expecting Beerus to actually say it.

 “I’ve got him wrapped around my finger, walking around in that silly little apron. If I ordered him to bend over, you bet he would.”

 “Yes, I have no doubt. So, I guess I should ask if it’s _you_ who has lost interest in _me?”_ Whis asked. “ _Again._ ”

 “No one’s watching us, right?” Beerus asked.

Whis shook his head, and Beerus tip-toed so he could kiss him. “Like I’ve said before, I’m not bored of you, I’m just…interested in something else. I’m never bored of that amazing chocolate cake you make, but sometimes I just want some ice cream, you know? And, actually, I like cake and ice cream together, so that’s a really good example, because – oh, no, Whis, I didn’t mean it like that, I just meant I can like more than one person at once.” Beerus face-palmed. “Bad example, but you know what I mean. Urgh. Are they both asleep?”

 “I believe so.”

 “Can we go cuddle on the sofa then?” Beerus asked. “I can’t believe I have to ask to go and chill out in my own home.”

 “You could stop hiding the fact we’ve been like this since before they were born. I have them change your sheets while you sleep, you know; you’ve looked a lot more vulnerable and less intimidating than if they saw you snuggling with me.”

 “What I do in my sleep doesn’t count. I’ve got to keep up my scary destroyer persona a little longer.” He sat on the sofa and pulled Whis into his arms.

 “Mm, I’m sure they’re very scared when you come out in nothing but your night robe, rubbing your eyes and yawning,” Whis said sarcastically. “Actually, no, you’re right. It’s best we keep this from them; if they know how much you dote on me they might be afraid to lay a finger on me.”

 “As if they’ll ever manage to hit you anyway.”

 “If any mortal can, it’ll be Goku, closely followed by Vegeta the next day.”

Beerus chuckled. “Yes, quite the pair.”

They lapsed into silence, enjoying this time of peace without the saiyans running amuck. To Beerus it felt like an age since he’d last held Whis like this, and now he thought about it, he hadn’t since Vegeta had arrived here many months ago. He leaned in to peck Whis on the cheek, trusting that the angel would tell him if either of the _children_ were wandering about at this hour.

 “I’m surprised you haven’t tired of them yet,” Whis commented.

 “I’ll admit, since Goku arrived my patience has started to wear thin. Having Vegeta around was fine; he’s not nearly as much of a pest.”

 “Well, if you are looking for a break, you could always ask your other half if he’d like to take you elsewhere. Maybe you can get me a little something too – it’s been a while since you surprised me.”

 “Huh?” Beerus looked down to see if Whis was hiding a cheeky grin. “Aren’t _you_ meant to be getting me something to say sorry for ignoring me in favour of the monkeys?”

 “I don’t see why I should. You’ve ignored me a lot more in the past.”

 “Past-shmast! Are you trying to get rid of me so you can be extra noisy or something?” Beerus asked. “Going to destroy my planet and rebuild it before I get back?”

Whis shrugged. “I wasn’t _planning_ to, but I figured it would be better for you to be out of the way and not being disturbed while I give the boys some more rigorous training.”

 “How about you take them to whatever planet I haven’t destroyed yet that I’m meant to before the next meeting? Then they can really go wild.”

 “Sounds like you’re trying to get out of a job, my lord.”

 “No, I’m trying to get out of spending time on that boring-ass planet they call a home. I wouldn’t mind if it was just Shin, or Kibishin – whatever their fusion is called, but now that old bastard’s back it’s the last place I want to go. Especially without you to take me home.”

 “Well, just don’t complain when they wake you up again tomorrow.”

Beerus yawned and nuzzled his cheek against Whis’s. “The things I suffer for you. Call the Seer for me.”

Whis did as he was bid, using his staff so he needn’t yell like Beerus usually did.

 “How can I help?” the Seer asked.

 “Am I going to be woken up tomorrow?” Beerus asked.

 “Yep!”

 “Don’t say it so cheerily!”

The fish shrugged. “It’s going to be good though. You’ll –“

Beerus cut her off. “Don’t tell me. I want it to be a surprise.”

 “Since when did you like surprises?” Whis asked.

 “If it’s a good one, I don’t mind a bit of anticipation. Besides, tomorrow will arrive before I know it.” He got up and stretched. “Better get some sleep while I can then. Goodnight, dear Whis.” He bent down to give him a parting kiss.

 “Sleep well, darling.”

Beerus smiled, always pleased when Whis dropped formalities.

 “You can tell me, though,” Whis said to the Seer once Beerus was out of range.

 “His brother’s going to visit!”

 “Oh good!” Whis clapped. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I look forward to seeing both Lord Champa and my sister.”

 

**Ooo**

 

 “How the fuck?!” Beerus yelled when he saw Goku waltz into his living room, Vegeta a few steps behind.

The saiyan smiled sheepishly as he gave Beerus a wave. “S’up, Lord Beerus!”

The destroyer narrowed his eyes at Goku, and shot a look at Whis. “Please don’t tell me you’ve finally learned to lock onto my energy.” That was the last thing he wanted Goku to learn, and although he hadn’t forbade Whis from teaching him, he hoped the angel would allow him that small mercy.

 “Oh, I wish! We got a ride from someone else.” Goku didn’t pause to allow Beerus to ask who, “But anyway, will you – I mean, Whis, will you – with your permission of course, Lord Beerus – will you train us again?”

Vegeta stepped forward. “We have an offering.” There were a few small boxes in his hands.

Beerus turned his nose up. “How good can something that small be? Besides, I need to know who you’re catching rides with to _my_ planet before I accept any kind of bribe.”

Goku fumbled nervously. “We made a promise not to tell on him…” But the secret was standing in his way of training and it was hard not to just blurt it out.

 “Would I destroy him if I found out?” Beerus pondered aloud. “Have you been pestering Monaka?!” It was his first conclusion when he thought of someone who visited both his planet and Earth. There weren’t many others, surely –

 “Monaka?!” Goku beamed. “Is he here? Does he come here a lot? Oh man, Lord Beerus, please, _please_ you gotta tell me if he comes while we’re here!”

Beerus made a mental note to make sure Monaka was banned from delivering anything to the planet again. If Whis wasn’t so busy training the saiyans he wouldn’t have been forced to try out delivery services anyway, but at the same time, he’d finally found a way to buy things behind Whis’s back without the help of –

 “That bastard.”

 “Huh?” Goku cocked his head, not sure if Beerus was talking about Monaka.

 “I know who brought you. Is he still here?”

 “Nah, he said he had things to do.”

 “Hmph, of course, always busy aren’t they? Supreme Kais, I mean.”

 “Yeah, I –“ Goku doubled forward when Vegeta’s palm collided with his head. “Hey, what’s that for, Vegeta?!”

Beerus laughed. “I’ll have to pay that little sprout a visit. I mean, I knew you were on good terms, but that’s very, _very_ cheeky of you to ask him.”

 “Well, we did save the world once.” Goku smiled, carefree as ever despite the displeasure in Beerus’s face.

The destroyer strode forward, and grabbed the front of Goku’s shirt. If he ever did make a wish on the Super Dragon Balls again, he’d probably ask that Goku was made a couple of inches shorter so Beerus could have the upper edge when threatening him. “I know you have no idea what _respect_ means, Goku, but just because you do the universe a small favour, doesn’t mean you should go around using the _Supreme_ Kai for lifts to my world. _Uninvited!_ You’d do well to pay my other half more respect and leave him alone.”

If it wasn’t for the fact Beerus still struck fear into Vegeta, the prince might have let out his snigger at the use of the term ‘other half.’ Naturally, it went over Goku’s head.

 “Actually, _he_ offered,” Goku pointed out.

Beerus’s other hand twitched and formed a fist, but Vegeta spoke up before a punch could be thrown. “Sorry, Lord Beerus, but Kakarot is telling the truth – we went to see who else can travel to your planet, and he just offered to take us.”

Beerus’s teeth ground together in anger – of course he’d offer! Always so eager to please people, and yet the little shit wouldn’t even stick around to say hi! Was that because he knew Beerus would be angry at the saiyan’s arrival, or because they just weren’t on good terms? If he was Shin, he certainly wouldn’t stick around for an awkward cup of tea.

With that in mind he released his grip on Goku, taking a deep breath.

 “Well, my lord, would you like me to escort the saiyans back to Earth, or…?” Whis asked, having quite enjoyed the show. It had been too many years since someone as wonderfully obtuse as Goku had come into their lives. And to have a god-fearing friend like Vegeta next to him? Comedic gold for Whis every day the saiyans spent on the planet.

 “No, let’s not be hasty.” Beerus absent-mindedly patted Goku’s shirt back into place. “Let’s see what they have to offer.”

Vegeta handed a box to Goku, who was already beaming – that was as good as Beerus saying yes to Goku’s ears. “We call it pocky! It’s food you can play a game with.” That caught Beerus’s attention. “You have to see who can eat it the fastest!” Goku pulled out a stick from the box, and Beerus immediately snatched it from his hand.

 “Biscuit dipped in chocolate?” He inspected the thin stick before biting half off. “It’s nothing special, but I do appreciate that the bottom is left undipped to avoid messy fingers. I bet I could eat the whole box in seconds.”

 “No, that’s not how you play!” Goku pulled out another stick and poked it into Vegeta’s unwilling mouth. “Vegeta has one end, I bite the other end, and then we both eat as much as we can!” Goku bit his half, about to play, but Vegeta let go.

 “And you play it with someone you _like_ ,” Vegeta huffed. “I’m not playing with _you_ , Kakarot.”

 “Aw, c’mon, Vegeta, just to show –“

 “The game sounds simple enough,” Beerus said, pulling out another stick and walking over to Whis. “When I say.” He bent down and carefully took hold of the other end between his teeth. “Now!”

It was over in a moment, ending with his lips pressed firmly against Whis’s as he fought for the last bit of the pocky. Then he realised exactly why Vegeta had been unwilling to play the game with Goku. Beerus stood up as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred – which it hadn’t – he kissed Whis all the time after all.

 “Who won?”

Vegeta was still speechless over the fact Beerus had actually played the pocky game before his eyes.

 “I dunno,” Goku said. “It was very fast. Whoever got more than half wins, right, Vegeta?”

 “Actually, if it ends in a kiss, it’s considered a tie.”

Goku laughed. “Well, then you’re both winners! I’ve never played before to be honest, but I saw it somewhere recently.”

Vegeta wasn’t going to remind Goku of the New Year’s party. “And we have more flavours if you’d like to try!” He held forth a variety of different ones.

The different colours pleased Beerus, and he agreed that Whis could train them. “I expect a better offering next time. Something more filling.” But god was this a good way to get Whis to come to him for a kiss – not that he’d tell the saiyans that.

 

**Ooo**

 

Beerus lounged on the sofa with a stick of pocky dangling from his mouth – banana flavoured this time. When Whis walked in he took the bait, all according to plan.

 “How many more of those do you have?” Whis asked, surprised that Beerus hadn’t eaten all five boxes already.

 “I don’t know. Enough.” His tail patted the sofa, and Whis took the offer to sit. “They’re not to be wasted by eating them all at once.”

 “Well, this must be the most valuable gift so far if it’s lasted this long.”

Beerus scoffed. “It’s because they’re so terribly plain that I see no point in eating the whole box at once. A kiss from you far outweighs the sweet itself.”

 “You could just ask for a kiss, dear.”

 “Now where’s the fun in that?” Beerus asked as he laid his legs across Whis’s lap. “I want them gone before I finish all the pocky. Can you do that?”

 “Of course. Although, it would be very useful to know how many sticks are left, and if you plan to increase the frequency of their use.”

 “Unfortunately there’s quite a lot of sticks in one box. I still haven’t finished a whole box, although I have been switching the flavours every day. Say, which is your favourite?”

 “I’m quite partial to the strawberry.”

Beerus took note. “I’ll make sure I save that for special occasions.”

Whis narrowed his eyes, unsure what Beerus meant by that. “But please, my lord, feel free to tell me my fun with the saiyans is over whenever you please.”

Naturally he would wait until they were driving him completely nuts before he took Whis’s fun away. He was hard-pressed to remember a time when Whis had this much fun with a mortal, and certainly this was the first time the angel had requested they bring one home.

 “Well, if you can’t do it, I’ll just add it to the list of things you can’t do.”

 “ _Oh?_ ” Whis smirked. “You still add to that list do you?”

 “Of course. But, naturally, I’ve had a hard time adding to it after I made the initial list. It’s not a very long list after all.”

 “What’s on it? I never asked. And, to be honest, I thought it was all a bit of a joke.”

 “Oh no, it’s quite real. I even have some notes somewhere, just in case I forget.”

Whis cocked a brow. “What could you possibly forget?”

 “Well, I doubt I would ever forget that you can’t sleep – that one stuck with me for a while. I remember a few times I woke up in the night – I purposely drank a bucket of water to make sure I did – to try and catch you out. But it was true, and you never showed any fatigue. Now, this next one is one I’ve forgotten a few times, but I’m pretty sure it’s stuck now; you can’t sing. At first I gave you the benefit of the doubt at that pub karaoke, thinking you were just matching the poor quality of the locals. But then I realised you are just that bad.”

 “Ouch. I didn’t think that would be on the list. After all, I _can_ sing, just not very well.”

 “I added it to remind myself in the future.” Beerus leaned in so he could caress Whis’s cheek. “I love your voice – you know that. But, god, when you sing… It just reminds me that angels aren’t perfect.”

 “Perhaps that’s a good thing.”

 “Clearly I know that, otherwise I wouldn’t have this list!”

 “Yes, and what else is on it? I want to know.”

Beerus scratched his head. “Uh… Let’s talk about something else.”

 “Oh no, that definitely means I want to know.”

 “Look, Whis, I added some… Some stupid additions. Much like how I’m threatening to add ‘Whis cannot get rid of two saiyans from my planet’ – they’re silly points and not true.”

 “I’ll just have to root around in your room then.”

 “I’ll buy you ten boxes of sushi if you forget about this for a century.”

Whis hummed. “Deal.”

 “For real?” Beerus asked.

 “Of course. Something to look forward to. And I’ll know if you really did add the thing about the saiyans.”

Beerus sighed in relief. He should probably re-write the list and burn the old one with all its corrections. The last thing he wanted was for Whis to see that he’d scribbled out ‘Whis doesn’t like sex’ and written next to it ‘WHIS CAN’T HAVE SEX!!!’ only for that too to be scribbled out, and a more accurate description written. He may also have been a little aggressive when he wrote about Whis being unable to wake him when his life was in danger. _That_ could have been worded better and more concisely. Well, that was a problem for later.

Beerus changed position so he could rest his head in Whis’s lap. “But the list of things you _can_ do… It goes on and on! Even after all these millions of years, sometimes I wake up and I think wow! I can’t believe the universe gave me a literal angel who can do everything – almost. I’m… I’m really grateful, you know.”

 “Have you been drinking, my lord?”

 “No! Whis! How can you think – that’s harsh!”

Whis shrugged. “Odd of you to be so sentimental when we have guests potentially wandering about and –“

 “Is Vegeta eavesdropping?!”

 “No, no, but he is still awake at this hour it seems.”

Beerus frowned. “For everything I like about that man, I will never understand how he can function on such little sleep. Because unlike you, he _needs_ it.”

 “Perhaps that’s why he’s often in a foul mood. But please, my lord, continue to wax lyrical about how much you adore me.”

 “My dear Whis, I could go on for hours, you know, about how beautiful you are, about how beautiful your cooking is, how wonderfully attentive you are. But really, right now, I’d like to remind you of how you know this little trick where you caress me between the ears and send me off to sleep almost instantly.”

 “How unfortunate. I doubt you’ll be as talkative when you wake.” Still, his hand took up its position as requested. “Sleep well, honey.”

Beerus chuckled softly. “Thank you, my love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I’m done with this fic! It went on way longer than I ever could have imagined, but I’ve hit all the points I wanted to, and it does well to lead into my other fic, Magnetic Today, if I leave it here. And really, where do you end with these two? They’re endless.


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